Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Dr. Ruff, schools and help

I'm a big fan of Suzette Haden Elgin, although I haven't read this particular book, I keep meaning to get around to it! I think it would be helpful in understanding kinesthetic learners.

Try to Feel It My Way: New Help for Touch Dominant People and Those Who Care About Them by Suzette Haden Elgin (Paperback - Nov 1996)

Since I'm also an 'non-linear' thinker, I generally get my ideas as 'seat of the pants' knowing that I don't really understand in words until I've typed a bit, and then I see connections that I was never consiously aware of. Typing is, BTW a favorite of Touch Dominant People.

Smiles,
Grinity

Hi! I am little late getting in on this one. I have a DS4 as well now, just turned 4 this summer. I read Losing our Minds by Ruf a few years ago (when he was 2) and found that according to her levels he would be a solid level 4, Everytime I go back and look he continues to be a 4 easily. I too got scared by all her comments about how he would never make it in certain settings and still fear that our school system will fail him miserably. And it may. He started a pre-k program that was mostly play based and ended up getting kicked out of it by the director after about 4 weeks (I won't go into all of it he did have some behaviors there, but nothing at all signficant enough for any child to get kicked out of a program...and the teacher informed me that she didn't want him out, but that the director decided it since she was going on maternity leave and couldn't handle the stress that may be caused). . Anyhow, we started him in a new program where he has been for 2 weeks and it is going great! The big difference is that the first place knew that he was bright...but still looked at him like the others and didn't feel like he needed much different than his peers since it was mostly a play-based program. They also had little structure and no classroom management system (no clear limits or expectations). This new place is catching on quick. By the third day my DS told me that the teacher brought in equations for them to do together and he was doing multiplication and division with her. This program is also significantly smaller and has a lot more one and one and has a classroom management system. He still doesn't relate with his peers much from what he tells me...but he seems to be enjoying it and is so proud of himself when he has a great day. They haven't seen any behavior problems with him, which is great. And his behavior at home has been back to normal since he started his new program...he was a little more off when he was in his last placement. We are nervous about K next year because I can't imagine them working individually with him like this. They will have 2-3x as many students and only one teacher. And I don't think HS is an option for us.

About not asking continuous questions, my DS asks similar questions that yours does. At 2 he would ask about water towers and how the water got into our house from the towers. Now he asks about how electricity works, and doorbells, and phones, he wonders about what would happen if leaves didn't fall off of trees, etc. I laughed about your autumn answer. My DS didn't like my answer about how doorbells work "you ring it and it goes ding-dong" I thought it was fairly simple, lol. He does like to read for pleasure, he is a great reader and often just sits silently and reads but we mostly read together. But somedays he only reads for like 20 minutes in a full day because he is a very active and busy kid. He tends to read more when it isn't nice outside. And he LOVES computers. That is what he is really into. He has no real obsessions of fascinations, and rarely has so I don't find that unusual. I don't find my DS all that motivated. Sometimes he wants to learn things..like his interest in Math. He is also interested in Spanish and sign language. He has known his alphabet in Spanish and in sign language for a couple years now...but now he is learning more sign language in pre-k and enjoys this. He enjoys knowing things that we don't know. And he is really into codes and word games. Anyhow, despite all of this and even though it is very clear that he is gifted...sometimes he doesn't get the simplest thing and I question his giftedness. I laugh about it because of how obvious it is...but I think every parent has denial at times.

Wow...sorry that was so incredibly long.

I used to tell my kids to stop making noises and/or jumping around when they were doing math or whatever. Then I realized that the fidgeting was actually a sign that they were concentrating. They don't always fidget while thinking, but it's pretty common. It usually stops once they really get absorbed in what they're doing.

Sometimes I need to have two things going simultaneously. If I'm going through data, I like to play music. It helps me sit still. If I'm watching TV, I MUST do something else, like play cards or do a puzzle. I actually don't watch TV so much as listen to it!

Val

Thankyou so much for this! I really enjoy reading about kids that sound so similar to my own! (not that i don't enjoy reading about others). My DS also loves Spanish and sign language. The Spanish is from watching Dora, but it is now branching out into other things like big numbers and the odd word. We taught them baby signs so both of my children use signs. There is/will be a child in his class with Down syndrome who i think uses Makaton which he seems excited to learn. He asks me often what the sign for X is or what the Spanish word for X is....I'm so glad for the Internet!!

I am starting to think that the reason DS doesn't read for pleasure is that he hasn't got silent reading so well yet. But last night he took a book to bed and we heard him reading it; so he is starting to.

DS often doesn't get the simplest thing too, DP and I often laugh about this. I'm pleased that the new place is going well for your DS.

I'm not a particularly kinesthetic learner, more visual-verbal. But I started knitting and reading when I was in high school, and it helps me concentrate and sit still.

I use the Continental method of knitting, so the yarn comes off my left hand with very little movement. (Most Americans knit with the right hand, and they have to move the whole right arm to make a stitch. I move one finger a tiny bit, and all my fingers are close to the work, so I can feel where things are.)

This method allows me to knit without looking at my work as long as the pattern is simple and doesn't require counting: a whole row of knits or purls or something like that. Voila! knitting and reading at the same time.

Knitting and reading at the same time is what got me through all the gosh-awful French literary theory I had to read during grad school, actually. It kept me anchored to my chair even when I would have loved to run away from my reading. (Oh, I *SO* would have loved to run away...Ick!)

So I hear you about doing two things at once helping you focus. It works for me.

Yes, it is very nice to talk with someone going through similar stuff. It's funny about the Spanish...DS often asks how to say numbers in spanish. He will randomly say..."mom...how do you say 84 in Spanish." I never really know why. And he loves roman numerals. He knows more of the letters than I do actually.

I agree about the silent reading. That does help for them to get more interested in reading. But again, my DS has days where he isn't all that interested in reading at all. I do still wonder if my DS comprehends everything though so I like to read together and stop and ask little questions like "why do you think he said that, what's going to happen next...or do you know what that means?" He usually does well but often times he will just read right on through without pausing even if he doesn't get something. And he reads as fast and practically as clear as I do so I really have to stop him quick.

What is Makaton by the way? I have never heard of that.

Anyhow, hope your DS's school situation works out and he is appropriately challenged...or at least is enjoying his experience there.

LOL Shellymos,
I watched DS12 skip a whole page while reading Artimis Fowl - when he was in 2nd grade. I thought that the book was a little too advanced for him and much too dark... sure enough, he put it down about 50 pages later, and, to my knowledge, hasn't ever read any of the books again.

In a way I think he understands things so deeply that he can miss a page here or there without missing much. I've noticed that when I listen to audio books, sometimes a few tracks are ruined due to scratches, and I'm usually pretty comfortable plowing ahead...not that I would do it on purpose, but there doesn't seem to be much 'there' there in a lot of the Young Adult books.

Smiles,
Grinity

I often ask DS about what is happening etc in the book because i often hear 'early readers don't understand what they are reading'.

Makaton is a sign language for learning disabled people. http://www.signedlanguage.co.uk/makaton.html

I remember reading things i didn't understand as a child (i think my reading ability surpassed my life experience), but a year or so later it would suddenly 'click' into place - yes i did retain the passage in my head that long!! Kinda funny becuase i can never remember things now!

In someways, I think this 'remember for later and click into place' is a hallmark of gifted kids. (Highly gifted kids?) Most people can't remember things that don't make sense, and I heard from many places that 'hearing without understanding' makes it even harder to learn later for most people, becuase they stop paying attention if they don't understand.

I think that my DS grew up with the things he understood being the majority of stuff, even as a baby. OTOH, It seems pretty normal for normally developing people to add layer upon layer of nuance to their understanding. By contrast, my DS seems quite 'married to his position' for how much he knows and understands. I do see signs that this is starting to flexible up, lately. In August, he even admitted that he had given me a bad fact, and corrected himself.

Interesting world, no?

Grinity

UPDATE;

So we had parents evening yesterday. All in all I think he is busy and being made to expland his thinking rather than being forced onwards e.g. they gave him a big light box and a small heavy box and asked which one did he think was heaviest etc.

We asked for better reading books and she agree to put him up one level. Which isn't anywhere near his level but is a step in the right direction. She agreed to do another reading assesment (lets hope it comes close to showing what he can read)- we explained that he was reading the two school books and then a Frog and Toad story at home.

She said that he would definatly go up a year for maths in the summer term (Apr-July), and i pushed for Spring, and she said they would consider it. I said that they could try it, if it's obvious he can't cope then he doesn't have to go again for a while - it's not permanent.
I was shocked that they had decided this! It seemed odd to me that they did it last year and then have retracted it but now i can see that they are doing interesting things with him (which fill in the paperwork ) but make him think.

We discussed some of his 'traits'; his perfectionism, that he does have a touch sensitivity (not extreme but still there), that he always thinks about things long after the time has past, the effort only in things that he wants to do and the fact it only takes one or two repetitions for him to completely understand something - which she had noticed .

So i am satisfied...i'm not 100% happy BUT i don't think i ever will be with a school (i have issues about schools in general). He is enjoying playing. And although we see some behaviour issues at home, we are aware of the something that is happening at school (that we think is causing it) and they are working on it.