Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Need help Settling argument

I set up the meeting with her. She i don't think wants to see me......she wants to treat my guy like he's just one of the kids in the class, and while she says she will give him harder work, doesn't.

I am not sure if the crying was about the test or not......I don't think so.

But maybe. He has asked to stay home a lot lately, at the begining of the school year he was having some adjustment issues because he skipped 2nd. But then he said he was ok, and he seems to be making friends and felt comfortable.

His only complaint about school is the work is to easy, he's bored. Then when he is given work that is harder they are putting him with much older kids that he can't keep up with. (he has normal processing speed)

Me and DH spent the day throwing around ideas, homeschooling, partical homeschooling, switching schools, demanding harder work.

That's the rub with acceleration. It's usually better than languishing in a totally inappropriate class, but it can present other, new problems which have to be sorted out. My own kids are PG and would have trouble fitting into a typical age/grade placement, but they are asynchronous too, and would have to either be stuck at a lower level of academics, or pushed into a situation where they could not keep up with writing requirements.

Homeschooling solves all these niggling issues for us. We have other challenges though, such as Mom having to work hard to get a break, and will the house ever be really clean?

good luck with your discussions!

I'm only homeschooling for an hour out of the day near the end and my house is never clean.

At least your children are getting the best education possible! I just have a *dirty* house.

Soup, I missed this update......

This is a tough situation, I don't think there is an easy answer. Keep investigating solutions until you can make something happen that everyone can live with.

((hugs))

I resigned myself to a dirty house and not enough writing time when I decided to homeschool. Something had to give, and I decided that it was NOT going to be my sanity!

We had the meeting. Which was complicated by the the Jewish holiday yesterday and the Monday off.... but Friday on? (not sure what Monday's holiday is?) also DS7 woke up last night at 12 screaming about a pain in his eye. He had a migrain, lasted 2 hours.... so I had to make sure his insurance was good this morning and get him an appointment at his DR. This is the first time I have taken him to the DR. for this he has had them before a few times, but last night was really bad. He is going to see a headache DR. and a eye DR.... but that's off the point.

The meeting was at 8 am, I am workin' on about 3 hours sleep....

So she said he missed stuff cause he didn't go to 2nd. and said that we shouldn't focus on just his gifts. Because then sometimes kids take that on as all they are. And seek approval through it. Which I explain was not the case with DS7 and that he was daily reminded that smarter isn't better, it's just smarter. Also since we have a mentally retarder person in our family, we don't make value judgments based on intelligence. It sort of shut her up.

Also she mentioned more then once that she has gifted children. She didn't choose to put them ahead, although they could have.

WHAT SHE DIDN'T SAY- she lives in a wealthy district that has a gt program from an early age. The kids are all suburban in that district and so they had more access to early learning and therefore start off kindergarten ahead of the typical inner-city kid. A second grader in a city school is an altogether different student then a suburban second grader. So sure if we had been in a wealthy suburban that has a gifted program, we might have not chosen to skip.... but how does that saying going about the word "if"? we're not..... so the best of all the options was to skip, so we did.

Can you tell I wanted to scream at her? She works in the district, she has the inner city kids in her class, she's bright, she should be able to figure this one out! I can't point this out for fear she will take it out on my poor kid.....

She did say that he is pretty capable of doing the work. But she is afried that his immurtiy and everything he missed will hold him back with some of the work. Also he is not writing enough or giving enough input on answers..... he reads and comprehends well- but is not outputting info.... and not internilazing the info enough.... which if he is not outputting enough or talking about what he has read.... how would she know what he is internizling?

I explained that the book she gave him, he did not take very serious as it was the type of book he would have read before kindergarten. I didn't say, I think he felt insulted by being given it to read and take seriously. I am trying to back her up and say, "I think she is giving you this book so you can learn how to break it down. Learn how to analyse a book."

She of course talk about The BIG SOCIAL PROBLEM! and said how the kids had been very nice about having him here. Like it was some sort of imposition. She added he is not really fitting in because of the age difference. And that he needed to "learn what it means to be a friend."

I stopped her in her tracks, he's not being teased, he didn't fit in with the second grade kids that well either and then I added, "He's younger then them and is never going to catch up, it is what it is."

(btw, I didn't say this to her but I have observed him at school and the kids are nice to him accept him for who he is. And a few are building friendships.) DH chimed in and talked about some of the friends that DS7 has out side of school and that he is "learning what it means to be a friend."

DH and I have not had a chance to discuss this yet.

I hope that DS7 does well on the SCAT.......... becaue then he might be able to just do math and english on the computer. I hate to say it.....
I wish she was more supportive.

I also have a dirty house....lol

WOW LONG! sorry!

No apology necessary. I've written longer posts when I wasn't as stressed out as you are! <reassuring pat on the back>

So what are you thinking now? Where does this leave you? What are your options?

P.S. My migraine specialist recommended magnesium and vitamin B2 (riboflavin) supplements for my headaches. Just plain old vitamins. It has worked for me. The headaches stopped completely when I took the vitamins, then I stopped taking the supplements because I thought the problems was solved, and the migraines returned. I'm back on the vitamins now with no plans to stop taking them ever again (!), and the headaches are gone again.

It's a cheap thing to try and there's almost no risk. An OD of B2 will just mean you have expensive urine, as your body just gets rid of it. An OD of magnesium will cause--ahem--intestinal distress. But it takes quite a bit to get that result, so you just don't take that much of it. No biggie. I've never had a bit of trouble in that regard.

It's worth a try! It came doctor-recommended to me, there's a good bit of evidence on the Internet that it helps, and it sure helped me!

I very rarely get migraines anymore and if I do its because something is stressing me out! Maybe your ds is internalizing too much!!

Sounds like the teacher doesnt appreciate having your ds in her class - from the conversation you relate, I can not imagine she is keeping this entirely to herself in front of your son. Thats a shame.

And I think you are right about the schools, there are some suburban schools were skipping doesnt seem like such a necessity - we are in an affluent area (not sure how we got here! lol!!) but anyway, classes are pretty hardcore, for 3rd grade imho; regular assessments and adjustments to challenge kids seem the norm in most areas.

good luck to your ds on the scat!
ps, my house is in the less-than-perfectly-clean category as well!~

And frankly, who the heck cares what she decided for her kid? I mean, her decision doesn't necessarily have to be the same as your decision, seeing as how you have two different kids...

This is the kind of parenting conversation I detest, regardless of whether it's about grade-skipping or breastfeeding into toddlerhood or where to buy kids' shoes. You can make one decision for your family and I can make another, yet both our choices can be valid and good. Neither one of us has to be wrong.

Grrr...