I found some of the questions hard to answer. For example: did your child receive an unusual amount of attention in his first 3 years. Well, since mine's an only, he received all the attention as opposed to what he would have received had he had siblings. Was it unusual? Who knows.
I wondered about that, too, since we have an only. But we also have a matter-of-fact family. He was treated as a welcome member of the family with all the rights and priviliges thereof. But no one went ga-ga over him. There was no oohing and ahing about all his little accomplishments. He got the same number of presents at Christmas as everyone else--no more, no less. I worked part time so he was in day care with 3 other infants 2-4 days a week.
Sure, he gets a lot more undivided adult attention that many kids, but I know many kids in bigger families who get a lot more doting than DS did. I think part of what the question is about is whether the attention a child gets is proportionate to what they accomplish. If you get a round of applause for not doing much then what is the point of doing more. Does that make sense?
