Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Is it correct to assume that you have a higher IQ?

Indeed, with budgeting and scheduling, as with most goal setting in life, it is the consistent follow-through which can be challenging.

This may include analyzing variances and incorporating the feedback/insight into future iterations of the budgeting and scheduling...
- to keep on track,
- to get back on track,
- to change tracks (to retire one or more old goals, and to reach one or more new goals).

Have you thought about joining the Prometheus or Mega societies?
DH joined one of these in his youth and found membership to be rewarding. Work and family commitments have prevented him from being active these past two decades but if you don’t currently have these other heavy commitments, you might find it worth your while.

Validation may initially have been one of DH’s motives for joining, but he really enjoyed exploring ideas as part of his regular correspondence with a handful of other members. Eventually, his profession became very demanding & reasonably rewarding and the members he was closest to passed away, so his participation in the society diminished and he is no longer active. Membership has shrunk significantly, so I probably should have checked this before making the suggestion.

IMO, the only loser lifestyle is one lacking ethics (ethics defined loosely in this context as following "the golden rule," treating others as you'd like others to treat you). You may wish to discontinue certain elements of your communication style which reveal negative thought patterns. Making disparaging comments about others may reveal more about the speaker, than the person(s) spoken negatively about. From a recent post on another thread:

It is not up to me, you, or anyone else to judge someone's lifestyle for its success. If an individual is not bringing harm, is happy in their relationship with themselves and others, self-supporting to whatever extent they are able, and engaged in daily activities that bring them life satisfaction and meaning, then who is to say they are not successful?

Conversely, one may be in a position of high social status, earning copious praise for one's "accomplishments", and making a lot of money--yet without internal happiness or meaningful relationships with others. I leave it to the reader to consider which form of "success" is preferable.

Well said, aeh.
(I see "not bringing harm" as akin to following the "golden rule.")

There is more than one way to be a loser.

I fear that my future will be full of failures and I will stay a loser forever. No one ever agrees with my ideas and opinions, and dismisses me as a idiot. This can't continue. If I'm gifted, then why does this keep happening for many years since pre-K?

Literally every day I get insulted, and this is going to be a huge impediment to my ultimate goals if this continues.

HighIQ, a few thoughts on your most recent post:
1) Many/most people have a concern that their future may include many failures. No problem with that thinking, as the exercise of considering "worst case scenario" is often recommended as a strategy to stimulate the development of plans to recover/recoup after a setback. Similarly, many/most companies/organizations have "disaster recovery plans." This is closely related to budgeting/scheduling, and involves making changes to those items for charting a course forward despite setbacks.

2) IMO, no one is a loser unless they are violating ethics (aka the golden rule). In other words, one is only a loser if they are treating anyone poorly. Unfortunately, there are many ways to do this.

3) In these threads, many have agreed with your ideas and opinions and have been very supportive, even while sharing wisdom of the years with you. You are young. Live and learn.

4) You've certainly not been dismissed as an idiot on this forum. In my observation, members on this forum have acknowledged you as a fellow member of the gifted community. Personally, I believe that many Vals/Sals may be gifted.

5) All types of agreement, partial agreement, and disagreement, whether empathetic, blunt, pithy, snide, insulting, snarky, etc... will continue throughout the lifespan. It is not something to fret about: value TRUTH over any smarmy compliments, and you won't be easily manipulated. Said another way: beware of those who attempt to assess pecking order and then "kiss up, kick down." Decide for yourself what feedback may be applicable and beneficial, and dismiss what you believe to be negatively motivated and therefore harmful. In the process, understand reciprocity: others may find your posts and/or in-person communications to range from respectful, reflective, thoughtful, to bullying, condescending, sarcastic, etc.

6) Being gifted does NOT mean one has a golden life of bliss, ease, health, recognition, friendship, opportunities, wealth, etc. It does NOT mean one is better than anyone else, or entitled in any way. It means that one's intellectual profile may show both strengths and weaknesses... and that the strengths reveal above average processing power, indicating that as a pupil, this person may need or benefit from specially tailored teaching pedagogy, curriculum, placement, pacing at their challenge level or zone of proximal development (ZPD), and effort may be needed to cluster them in the company of intellectual peers. Life is still a combination of NATURE and NURTURE. The IQ may be nature, whereas our environments, self-talk, and the attitudes we cultivate may be a few of the many components of NURTURE.

7) As far as why this keeps happening since pre-K... there may be multiple factors, and combinations of factors, such as:
- level of maturity (younger people's self-esteem may quickly go up with every affirmation/validation and down with every invalidation... more seasoned individuals may have a more even-keel sense of self and may tend to know what to take to heart, what to brush off and let go of),
- mistakenly thinking all disagreement is harmful,
- taking it too hard (over-reacting, catastrophizing, dramatizing) when people disagree or do not express support,
- being emotionally needy or high-maintenance (expecting more agreement, support, comfort, accolades, attention, etc than the average person),
- making derogatory statements about others (which invites pushback, escalation),
- not understanding the interplay of teamwork/collaboration and appropriate competition (the need to move fluidly between roles),
- not maintaining healthy interpersonal boundaries.
Unfortunately, if early home life did not include healthy affirmation/validation and did not role model supportive communication, appropriate interpersonal boundaries, polite disagreement, ethics (for example, the golden rule), and did not value making mistakes as stepping stones to learning, etc... it may take substantial effort to heal and to learn these communication skills. But it is worth the effort.

8) Literally every day, everyone gets insulted, it's part of being human (while living in a society which values individuality and freedom of speech). A resilient person does not allow this to be a huge impediment to their goals.