Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Adult To gifted adults who may be struggling

I can't speak for the adults who were in your life during high school, but as someone who has walked alongside many young adults through dark moments something like yours, I can say that there are almost always more people in your life (in person and online) who are willing to help you, and even offering help, than it may feel like in the moment. If someone extends a hand, please take it.

Your value lies not in your intelligence or accomplishments, but in your unique humanity. There are beauties and joys that only you can contribute to the world, because they emerge from the singularity that is you. I encourage you to take the steps toward health and growth necessary to allow love and beauty to unfold over the course of your adult life.

I want to get over this feeling of inferiority, so that I can actually live and grow to become the person that I want to be.

What can explain why the MS/HS students can easily solve those olympiad/codeforces problems while I can't? I keep struggling to find a solution; I take forever to come up with ways to solve the problems even when they're classified as "easy". I know that there are programs that teach you CS concepts for the USACO/IOI, but I'm not eligible since I'm an adult. It sucks because I was never exposed to any of those competitions, and I was just a lazy kid who played games all day. At least I got pretty good at the games.

Today, a fast food employee called me a weirdo, because I thought that they were already done with my order. I foolishly walked into the cooking area, and got called a weirdo.

It seems that everyone thinks that I’m just a loser who is mentally challenged, but I have gotten so used to people giving me dumb insults for a long time now.

HighIQ - At what fast-food restaurant is a customer expected to walk into the cooking area when they believe that their order is ready?

In your post you called walking into the cooking area of the fast-food restaurant "foolish,"
... are you able to articulate why you did it?
... did you realize at the time that it was foolish?

Have you considered that the employee may have called you out, not because you incorrectly thought they were done with your order, but rather because you violated their space by entering the cooking area?

It is highly unusual that an adult would not have observed the expected behavior and etiquette demonstrated or role-modeled by others over the years, and understand that the same rules apply to themselves, also. If you do not learn rules by casual observation in everyday life, then you may want to learn through an experience of direct teaching. One way to do this may be through employment. Meanwhile, I will share that various areas are off-limits to customers for a variety of reasons, including:
- security
- health department inspection reports
- employee safety
- food product safety
- customer safety
- insurance
- proper attire, specific shoes are often required
- respect for workstation boundaries and personal space
People on the autism spectrum may have difficulty learning rules through casual observation and may need or benefit from direct teaching in these areas. Gifted individuals can be on the autism spectrum, and this is often referred to as twice exceptional or 2e. Books and other resources regarding Perspective Taking, Theory of Mind, Social Thinking, can help one become attuned to the impact of their communication and actions on others.

One does not typically enter an establishment's cooking area to "take" their food. One waits politely until it is their turn, then asks for, and is "given" their food. Communication is key.

Unfortunately, you seem to have lost your earlier perspective that it was "foolish" to enter the cooking area, and are now making derogatory remarks toward others for their reaction to your violation of several rules. It is my understanding that unauthorized entrance into a cooking area could result in one being arrested for trespassing.

Working diligently at learning and following rules may improve your daily interactions and help develop a healthy self-concept and resilience.

Your frequent reference to people as low-IQ losers is not OK, and others who read your statements may incorrectly presume that members of this forum hold the same views that you have repeatedly expressed. We do not.

It is highly unusual for people to still insult others despite all of these mass shootings that have been showing up lately on the news. I don't insult anyone in person. I thought adults are supposed to be mature.

Yes, I know that it was a mistake going into the cooking area. They should have already been done with the food. I don't know why it was taking them so long. I just assumed that they were done. There was no sign saying "Do not enter". What I thought in my head was that there are exceptions during COVID, and that I can enter the cooking area to get my food.

Because you previously mentioned Einstein, I will share this quote:
"A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be." - Albert Einstein

This goes back to understanding rules (as discussed upthread, here), and that the rules apply to one's self. If every rule was posted on a sign at each place where it applied, there would be layers upon layers of signs, making them impossible to read.

The COVID rules I'm familiar with require additional caution:
- people to maintain a distance of at least 6 feet from each other,
- frequent washing of hands,
- extra sanitizing of spaces,
- keeping people away from any open food and food prep, precluding the familiar practice of giving samples at restaurants, bakeries, deli counters, ice cream shops, grocery stores, farmer's markets, and more.
I do not know of any exceptions during COVID which relax or set aside the usual rules of sanitation and now allow people to walk into a restaurant's cooking area.

When you think something in your head, you might want to do a quick fact-check about the source of your information, to ensure that your thoughts are accurate.

You are not seen as a weirdo here, but as a gifted person who has asked for assistance in understanding "why this keeps happening." Therefore you are being provided with insight as to how your own choices may be inviting negative pushback from those you encounter in daily life.

Some may disagree as to the size of error of walking into a restaurant's kitchen to take your food. It is healthy to accept responsibility for one's own error, and not downplay it. If social rules are not automatically clear to you, this is something that can be learned. That said, I'm sorry if the restaurant employee(s) ridiculed you when you walked into their cooking area. But I believe it could have been much worse. For example: worst case scenario may have been arresting you and closing the restaurant to clean and sanitize because an unknown and unauthorized person went into the cooking area.

Live and learn. Put it behind you. You can face tomorrow knowing that you will not make the same mistake again. You are one day older and wiser.

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