Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy requesting help with math advocacy

I think maybe some of this is just different personalities. When you have a kid--as Dazey and I do--who takes LONGER when the work is too easy, sometimes a WHOLE LOT LONGER to do what seems like it should be a walk in the park, you just come to the conclusion that it's not worth it. Good lessons are not being learned and many bad lessons are, so why bang your head against the wall?

OTOH, I was a "do it while the teacher is explaining the next assignment" kind of kid, so I never had homework, and the work from one subject kept me from losing my mind completely from boredom during the next.

However, I don't think this was anything like an ideal situation! That's important!

I had a good bit of trouble when I finally got to high school and hit a challenging academic situation. I was a straight-A student and I considered suicide (briefly) because I got a B+. That's just insane, and I am not an insane person! If I had not been bored to death all along with drill and kill and molded into a perfectionist whose feelings of self-worth hung solely upon perfect scores because everything was always easy, I KNOW that wouldn't have been my reaction.

The combination of experiences--my son's and mine--is why I feel pretty strongly about this. Even if the kid goes along with the drill and kill, that doesn't mean it's a smart move.

(With the important caveats that every child is different, short-term is different than long-term, and if there's a specific goal for the child that requires his/her toeing the line, then that's a different kettle of fish.)

Yes, the fact that your school made exceptions on the worksheets for kids who got it already is really REALLY key, I think, Dottie. That doesn't happen around here.

Yes, shaking head, I was coming back to say I think a lot of it boils down to personality. I wish I had that laid back kid which just did the work put in front of him so he could move on to other things but sadly, I do not. And some of it, is even work he needs to do for school such as know your times tables lol.

I just marvel at the school a friend's kids attend. that school bends over backwards to make learning engaging. My son would thrive there.

I had similar perfectionist tendencies even at a young age. I remember coming home from elementary school one day crying because I had made a B on an assignment. Once I got to high school I was able to do the boring, mindless work because I knew I had to make the best grades possible so I could go to college and escape the cycle of poverty and my small town existence. The boring, mindless assignments had value because they were my stepping stones to good grades and freedom. In some ways though it hurt me. I somehow perfected the ability to make good grades without necessarily understanding the material. In college I made an A in differential equations but never understood the concepts until I took thermodynamics. I guess that is why I am a big proponent of the interdisciplinary study of math and science.

See this is where I get myself in trouble with the school. If they send a worksheet home that is way below what DD is currently doing, realistically it takes her a few minutes to do and she can actually do it while watching a t.v. show with 100% accuracy.

Now I can see the school thinking, well if it's such a non-issue, why are you even complaining, just be glad it doesn't take her 20 minutes.

But I say, obviously she can practically "do it with her eyes close" type of thing which defeats it's purpose which is practice to mastery. Why would I even spend the second it takes to grab it out of the bag.

I'll trrrrryyyyyyyyy............

It makes sense what you're saying, but it kind of conflicts with what makes sense to me, KWIM?

Plus I'm stubborn and uncompromising!

Prioritizing and choosing your battles. This is not something that comes naturally for me, but I'm starting to realize it is necessary if DD8 will stay at school, which is what it seems she wants. Oh, strategic retreat, I'm not really good at that one either.

This may be my greatest challenge!

I know it's wrong, like I know it was wrong to eat 2 donughts from Dunkin Donuts today.

I have to save the fights for the most important things, cause even though it's wrong to give a kid a worksheet her little sister can do for her , I only have so much time, patience and sanity.

soooooo annoooooooooooyed.