You might check for an unschooling community in your area--sometimes you can just put out a call on any local boards or meetups.
I would agree that many b&m and homeschoolers alike fill up their children's days with a lot of activities, with little time to breathe, play, explore, or be. As homeschooling parent who is also a professional working in the public school system, I have plenty of criticisms of our formal and cultural educational systems., but I also see the good that caring adults do in all sorts of educational settings, when they appreciate and nurture children as individuals (even when they have to work within constraints).
I agree...we all have to work within our own constraints, and good can occur in many different situations. I just feel for kids who are boxed in by so many factors.