Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments private school for gifted Kindergartener?

Our DD8 is in 3rd grade at a small, high-performing, private elementary school. She has been there since kindergarten. The students are bright. There is some level of differentiation. Even so, the curriculum does not meet her academic needs in areas where she is HG+ (she is not globally HG+).

I’d also mention, though, that we chose DD’s school for many of the reasons identified by your DS’s teacher. DD was/is sensitive. She didn’t socialize readily. She also had sensory processing difficulties and tends toward anxiety (not factors in your post). We thought she would benefit from small class size and individual attention. She has. The way she's wired hasn’t changed, but her confidence and coping skills have grown in that environment so she is better able to function in others. It was the “soft start” she needed and our best option for her early education. We don’t have a gifted program in our public schools.

And it may be time to reassess – DD is starting to fool around in class, and when I ask her why she tells me it’s because her brain is bored and needs some excitement.

Good luck in your decision.

Lots of great advice above that I'll try not to repeat.

Private schools vary a lot and public school gifted programs vary a lot so it is impossible to say what will be the best fit at this point. Some things (many of which have already been said...) I'd look for

1. flexibility - schools that brush your questions/concerns away with easy "we've had lots of gifted students" and think they have all of the answers... often don't. Keep asking questions, ask for examples and specifics. One of my favourite advocacy moments was in a VP's office many years ago when I was assured that differentiation would solve all of my DS's problems. I asked for a specific example in science (he was in grade 1 and would sometimes get us to read university physics books for bedtime stories....). Her example - "while the other kids are learning that plants use air, water and soil to grow, he can learn that it is called photosynthesis" She even said photosynthesis real slow to make it sound more amazing. I smiled and knew we weren't on the same page.

If the school says they can work at their own level - ask if they have any examples of kids working several grades above level? How is that handled? Is gifted enrichment viewed as an add-on or extra? - after you do all of your normal work THEN you can do an extra worksheet (oh boy!!!).

Is their way of accommodating isolating? Is the solution to have the child sit in the corner and teach themselves grade x+y math while the rest of the class does grade x.

2. peers - some gifted kids are great at blending in with others and/or have a variety of interests that aren't all "out there". Others stick out and NEED intellectual peers to discuss their odd passions with at recess. If your child is one of the later types then the potential peer group can be key.

3. what is the gifted program and who is in it. What is the criteria for entrance? Is it focused on the high achieving type of gifted kids? (that is fine if that is what your child is but throwing a 2E kid into that might not be so great).

What does the program actually do that is different than the regular program? Have the teachers taken extra courses on gifted children and their needs? Is there a high turnover or has this teacher been doing this for years?

4. teachers and their fit with your child - as many have stated they can be the difference between fantastic and disaster.

Many thanks to you all for the nuggets of wisdom.

Some of the best prep schools (tuition > 25K for 1st grade) we visited had snobbish responses. One school head said, "We have many kids doing better than 142. We have a K child who tested at 160. (Nothing about a differentiated approach)." Another head said, "IQ doesn't really mean success. You need all rounded education if you want to go to the ivies". Yet another said, "Our curriculum is structured very well (without individualization); that is the reason we have so many high achievers".

Their responses made me feel apologetic for my DS's abilities. Looks like this is going to be a long journey with many trials and errors!

LOL @ the snarky responses you've received because that is pretty much what DD's school would have said.

At the end, we went with the school because despite all the negative aspects, we thought she'd be happier there than anywhere else, at least during the early years.

The snarky responses are the norm for the Main Line. Not restricted to schools...it is everywhere, just part of the culture. Think of the "Housewives of " show. (They were considering doing the show on the Main Line, and we know a "housewife" that was scheduled to be part of the show...never happened.)

Despite the snarky comments, the schools do have a good number of gifted kids. If you want less of that attitude, you might try a Friends school. Snark and Quaker don't really go together.

And keep in mind things change. That school you thought was perfect may no be next year.