Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Need advice: parent co-op problem (long)

Yup. In fact, every time I tried to discuss that I was seeing her ignoring DS7 when he did talk, that was when she interrupted me. She was not at all open to the idea that she had written him off.

You're definitely calling it as I see it, 'Neato. Her mind is closed. And DS7 just isn't going to go toe-to-toe with her yet. It's not in him now.

Will it be in him in 3 years, as she keeps insisting? Maybe. Though his personality isn't necessarily the sort to have him duking it out. If it's not annoying him, he might just let it happen, and if it is annoying him, he's just as likely to leave as he is to stand up for himself. DH and I both have very low thresholds for conflict, and we don't have any problem with deciding it isn't worth it (as we did with the public schools and we are doing now!).

Is that good, bad or indifferent? I don't know. But it is how we're wired. DS7 is wired the same way. I suspect he'd tolerate it until he couldn't, and then he'd either fight it or leave--and if he's like us, it's about 50-50 which one he'd pick.

From my perspective, the best aspect of this situation is the potential intellectual benefit (i.e., your DS's perception of challenge and the opportunities to work his brain to keep up with older kids). I'm not really seeing it as a great social opportunity -- not one worth an hour commute. However, if my DS6 had an opportunity like this I would take it despite the negative teacher attitude. But that's because DS6's school situation is very much lacking in challenging learning opportunities like this. He also has a competitive nature so the presence of the other kids would be motivating for him. If your son isn't benefitting intellectually from the older kids (forget socially - sounds like there's not much unstructured interaction with the other students), why not just provide living math at home...

Just reading this thread now but it looks as if your mind has already been made up.

IMO, it seems if the teacher was never going to accept him then you are better off spending your time doing something else. Very frustrating. IMO, some battles are worth fighting but from what you have posted--this one just not seem worth the effort. Your son can get a much better experience on the same curriculum at home with you. It might be different if this was something so unique and specialized that you needed the information from the teacher.

Yes, thanks, friends! I appreciate your perspective. I think we can do better than this. My gut is much happier since I followed it. Frankly, I was pretty upset about the whole thing. I just really think it's a bad environment.

On the bright side, it has given me a great insight into how to teach him. Living math it is! At least it was a good learning experience for me about curriculum and academic co-ops.

Interesting thread. I decided not to join any of the HS "academic" activities (local HS courses - we don't have a parent co-op) b/c DS was such a tough fit in school, it is hard to think a HS class would be any better. We're sticking to art, music and fun for group activities. Sorry the class didn't work out, Kriston. School is so teacher dependent, isn't it?

Oh, I just re-read this thread and realized that I didn't mention anywhere that the class today contained THREE kids. That might make a difference!

I realized that if you all thought she had 25 kids to deal with, then you might have a skewed view of the attention she COULD have been giving. But no! It was her daughter, one other girl about 10 or 11yo, and my son. That's all! For nearly 2 full hours!

Think she could have spent a wee bit of time listening to him, when it's just 3 kids?

Yeah, I think maybe...

P.S. We crossposted, Questions, but yes, classes don't get less teacher-dependent when you homeschool, I'm afraid...

Now that's pretty rude. Sayonara.

Indeed. I think it's the right call.

Ok, 3 kids only and not really paying attention and needing you in the class? The fact that there were only 3 kids in the class makes it much worse. I say if it doesn't feel right (whatever the reason is) walk away as long as DS is fine with it. That's the nice thing about hs. The kids do NOT have to be there.

Go ahead and use living math at home and tell him how great it is that you can do it anytime you want to and won't have to wait for the class I know nothing about living math but who knows it may be a perfect curriculum for him for this school year.

It might have been a learning experience for him, but it sounds to me that the "teacher" made her mind even before your son took the 1st class. If there are only 3 kids in the class one would expect her paying attention to all of the kids most of the time. I hear you on the 30 minute commute. I just got myself out of one Does it mean that you will withdraw DS4 as well or will DS7 try a different class?

I know, right? I can't believe I forgot that detail! Perhaps that tells you how upset I was about the whole thing...It's a pretty important detail!

There are only two classes offered at a time, though they will change every couple of months. This time it's Egypt and the math. Next time it's elections, I think, or the math. He signed up for chemistry instead of math one time, which probably won't be as good as he thinks it will be. And there's one other class I forget, but again, he chose the math.

It's always only two classes at a time, and one is always her math class.

So...meh. Worth the drive for the other class? I'm still debating...