Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Need advice: parent co-op problem (long)

I'm in no position to give advice, since our DS is still only 4 and I have no experience with this kind of thing at all. But just from the outside I wonder whether it's a bit more difficult for your DS to learn to speak up for himself when you're there to speak up for him. I know you say the teacher says you should be in the classroom, and that's certainly some reason to attend. But you also say she clearly is annoyed (or perhaps, rather, intimidated?) by your presence. If your son really is enjoying it, and wants to keep going, maybe it would be easier and better for everyone if you just let him have a go on his own.

BB

Oops. Cross-posted again. Well, it seems like you've thought it out pretty carefully, so I won't add anything more.

BB

LOL! Because, when I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm never sure if it's the exit or the train! You know! LOL!

I second guess my gut feelings too much, gee, I gotta work on that!

Just to follow-up, since you were kind enough to post for me...

The first week, when I wasn't there, he said nothing, she said. (I couldn't attend--the sitter took him.) She said he was a lot more talkative with me there. When I left the room today to help DS4, she said he got quiet again.

I wonder if he was quiet or if she was just more able to ignore him, but I'll take her word for it...

BTW, I just told DS7 that we could do living math at home, and then we wouldn't go to the co-op. He said that was fine with him. He worried about missing the park play afterwards, but that won't go on much longer anyway.

Though if he really wants to go, maybe we'll put him in the way-too-easy ancient Egypt class that his DS4 is in. (DS7 also had this last year in a GT Saturday class, so it's even a way-too-easy re-run! *sigh*) If I want the social for him, maybe that's a better choice...

Still mulling that part over...It's a LOT of driving for very little social time!

P.S. BBD: You're ALWAYS in the position to give me advice! Please! Sensible minds should always feel free to chime in, regardless of how old your kids are.

Sounds like you made a good decision, Kriston.


Wait a minute.....is that supposed to stop us? must...comment...can't....help.....myself....don't....care....that....my...child....is....4

Neato, When they're gut feelings about MY situation, please send them my way! You can second-guess after you've told me that they exist!!!

That's a real good point, though, BBdad. The kids need opportunities to practice things like learning to speak up for themselves. The tough thing about these decisions I think is trying to figure out whether the situation involved is an age appropriate and realistic situation for the child to do so.

By the way Kriston describes this one, it seems as if the parent has made a decision prior that DS is too young. Some people can asess when they've made a wrong pre-assumption and change tack quickly. Some can't. I didn't get the impression that this woman was particularly self-aware in this aspect. Now this might be a great learning experience for say, a 13, 14 or 15 year old who has a little more social experience, for a variety of reasons. But 6,7,8,9,10? I'm not so sure. Perhaps it could have turned into an exceptionally positive and productive learning experience. Given the facts at hand though, I tend to think the risk outweighs the reward.

((shrug))

You go, girl! Advise away, please.

Hey, I don't discriminate based on age!!!

Okay, Kriston, next time. I do try to be careful when swinging my very strong opinions around. Sometimes I'm wrong! (many times)

Also, just cause your child is four doesn't mean you can't dish out advice. I think most of us are lookin for insight from intelligent people, not necessarily only from parents of kids the same ages as ours.

Ahhhhhh Kriston we crossposted:


LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!