Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy For BTDT: Anyone decide not to accelerate?

Our twins, now 17yo and in ps 11th grade, have had subject acceleration (most consistently in math), but we never pursued grade skips. In hindsight, for our more gifted child (it would have taken multiple skips in elementary for him to be working at grade level), it seems that a grade skip may have helped in some ways but not skipping has also had benefits. This kid has been through some really difficult times in middle school (*maybe* a skip would have helped?) but being in high school with a loving and supportive group of really close friends has been a plus. These are age peers and true friends (and intellectual peers, at least in some academic subjects) accumulated over the years at camps and extra-curricular activities, and in school together for the first time in high school.

He, however, decided on his own to complete hs graduation requirements a year early and applied this year to college for next year. He is still waiting to hear (from a very selective school), and to be honest, I won't mind if he doesn't get in and proceeds with plan B - one more year of high school. He's already taken third semester Calc at the nearby state flagship U and will take both math and honors physics there (through the state dual-enrollment policy) next year in addition to hs classes. He is also learning a ton of electronics and computer programming through an extracurricular team project, and would continue that if he stays in hs next year. (His dad is an expert in electronics and a fantastic teacher, another benefit to being at home.)

I've seen many examples of very capable students flailing in college for various reasons (I am a university professor). Overall, I think my own kids have benefited in several ways from the extra time before college due to not skipping, giving me confidence they will be well-equipped to thrive in college.

Here's an interesting and resource-y article on redshirting: Kingergarten Redshirting: How Kids Feel About It Later In Life (Cult of Pedagogy, April 24, 2016, Jennifer Gonzalez). Four resources which it links to:
1) delay their child's entrance into kindergarten: "Academic Redshirting" in Kindergarten: Prevelance, Patterns, and Implications (Bassock/Reardon) September 2013
2) overview of the research on redshirting: Investigating the Prevalence of Academic Redshirting Using Population-Level Data (June 2015)
3) Academic Redshirting: Perceived Life Satisfaction for Adolescent Males (dissertation of Suzanne Stateler-Jones, Texas A&M, 2012)
4) Multidimensional Students' Life Satisfaction Scale (MSLSS)

One aspect of this research may apply also to gifted kids, to the degree a gifted child may be redshirted (or not accelerated) due to undiagnosed disability:

Well said. There is good and bad in everything. As John Wooden, Coach, said: “Things work out best for those who make the best of the way things work out.”

Two years ago (with our then DS6 who is HG+), we were facing a choice between advocating heavily for a grade skip in his then current school (which was shaping up to be a battle) vs. changing to a different school which specialized in gifted kids (but without the grade skip). We opted for the latter, and I think it's worked out pretty well. He's one of the older kids in his class and probably could benefit from some additional challenge, but overall it's good enough for now. We recognize that there really isn't going to be a perfect situation for him, and I think (for a variety of reasons) he's better where he is now than where he was.

My younger started school past the cut off date (NZ) which means he will spend 11 months more at school than my older if not skipped. Being 18 for most of his last year at school concerns me. I would like him to skip later on though not now. We have a lot of composite classed so there is no real reason he can't start a year 6/7 class as a year 6 and finish it as a year 7. At the moment we are working on confidence, risk taking, self advocacy plus extended maths. He is HG and has a less spiky profile than his HG+ brother so it is a bit easier.

So, my experience is that preschool is hard. Don't beat yourself up. We skipped DS ahead at 2.5 a year and it was a mistake, for him. The social and emotional misfit was brutal. I decided to keep DD with same aged peers until K. Well, DD is more typical so I can't say but it seems "better".

Our hope is that for DS subject acceleration in math with be enough. K was hard for him, but 1st has gone well. He does AoPS math outside of school and that plus extracurriculars seems to meet his need for a challenge. I agree with the learning how to learn and study concern...

I have a 5 year old in kindergarten who is in pretty much the same situation. We purposely selected a school where academics aren't the primary focus. He attends a magnet school for the performing arts that places greater emphasis on developing leadership skills, communication, and character. We are not blind to the idea that he may need acceleration eventually, but we hope he can grow into a more well rounded kid before the gaps get too big. I still shudder when I see homework that he could have easily done when he was 2, but I try to keep anchoring myself to the idea of growing his character.
This board has served as a wonderful resource as I plan for anticipated difficulties in the coming years. My personal feeling is that it is most important to find a teacher that enjoys the challenges and rewards of teaching these types of students.

In case it's helpful to hear from someone who was accelerated, here's my $0.02.

I skipped first, about 40 yrs ago, then moved and spent the rest of my years in a district that didn't do acceleration at all (though they didn't move me down a year); while I could've used the challenge of further acceleration, it wasn't an option, so I can only speak to a one-year skip.

I would say it was the best option for me *under the circumstances*, but still deeply suboptimal. It was the better of two bad options. (The best, but not at all available where I lived, would have been to be grouped with a cohort of intellectual and age peers in a gifted-ed setting.)

School was easy, even with skipping. I could pretty much coast and get As. It was better than being in my age-cohort class would've been, but still not a challenge. I still lack good study habits.

Being a year young and in the wrong setting (only ~10% of my class went on to 4yr college) definitely harmed my social and emotional development.

I'm tall, so I didn't stick out in that respect, but I believed I was bad at sports (nope, just a year younger than everyone), not cool (nope, turns out I was once I got to college), and had no social skills (nope - again, just a year younger than everyone and didn't really have any shared interests; turns out, I had plenty of friends once I got to college).

I'm now a successful professional but I still can't shake those negative self-perceptions and self-doubts, even with a college varsity letter and plenty of experiences showing objectively that I'm *not* awkward and I *can* make friends.

I finally found my people when I got to college, and it was AMAZING. I've always envied the people who had intellectual peers the whole way through.

TL; DR: I can't say you should always or never skip, because it really depends on the circumstances. If possible, get your child in a setting where they have intellectual peers who are also age peers.

We accelerated our DD from 2 -> 4 - she is now in 7th grade.

We have decided not to do any more full skips but she is further 'skipped' 2 grades for Maths into Honours Geometry at the local regional high school.

We have decided to do no more full skips - DD has inherited her parents' lack of vertical advantage (and has not hit puberty) and she is at an age/phase where she is extremely conscious of and adverse to 'standing out'. Going to the HS alone involved a major adjustment period - she no longer speaks up in class because she wants to disappear into the background. She is barely 12 so I am not too worried - yet (I am a natural worrier/over thinker).

DD could do the HS next year academically but she does not want to do it - we are respecting her wishes as a are not in a frantic hurry to pick her off to college.

Homeschooling is the ultimate - skipping is, at the end of the day, a compromise.

Leaving DD in her 'age grade' adverts a tragedy but pushing her into an alien environment - small child among adult sized peers also could have tragic consequences too.

Sorry for the ramble - in the road this week and got up an hour earlier than I should have LOL.

PS

One advantage that homeschooling gets you is that you can accelerate but still claim to be 'age grade' - the ultimate Talent Search tactic that I would call 'blue shirting'. I have seen this with my own eyes. Whereas a B&M schooled kid, even if skipped is hamstrung by the combination of their school grade and the standard (core) curriculum's way of releasing concepts as slowly as a wizened and arthritic miser giving alms.

Depending on how tigerish you are as a parent this may or may not be important.