Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments ISO Indicators for Harmful School Experience

Yes, we've all been there. 'Neato's right (as usual!).

Use the past to inform you, but don't waste time and energy kicking yourself. If you do the best you can at the time, then that's all you can do. Regret is a wasted emotion. Forward!!!

oh, BTW:


LITTLE will depend....

If they don't (they probably will!) you make another polite call. And then go from there. While you do need cooperation on some level you have more influence in the outcomes here, than the school, okay?

Aww shucks......

Yes Ma'am! (We need a saluting gremlin for the board).

Yes - this is an important lesson that, after some struggle, I am beginning to get the hang of.

On this one I disagree. We've made the polite call already and, as I mentioned, we have some prior experience working with them. If we see a long process stretching ahead of us, just to discuss options, and DS is stressing, we will move to HS pretty quickly.

I'd like to understand better your point that we have more influence on the outcomes, at least within the school's system. We can propose, even persuade, but ultimately the principle makes the determination, que no?

BTDT. I spent a while kicking myself, too. It's part of the process. But get through that part as fast as you can because it's not productive. You can't be an effective advocate for your child if you're busy blaming yourself for past mistakes.

Forward! Always forward!

True dat! DW puts it well, I feel, when she reminds me that we we are growing as a family just as DS grows as a person.

Well what I mean is, for example, pulling for homeschooling is an excellent option as well. That is one way you have control over your son's situation.

I started with the polite please when DD8 was in K almost 4 years ago!!!!!!!

I'm just only now seeing the fruits of my labor!

You can't keep a child under duress for that long, no way. On the other hand someone told me once, don't borrow trouble.

There wasn't any major trouble until last year. Definately some bumps the year before.

I see that you've got a beat on what's up and you are confident. That's important to your success here. We all have stories, and you should read them. But none of us can tell you what's in store for your story because none of us know yet.

If your story starts unfolding in a way you don't like, back up re-assess and march on.

I will tell you if I could time travel back here are the things I would do:

Had achievement testing at the same time as IQ testing. I didn't understand what those numbers really meant and I don't think a lot of the teachers do anyway. They speak grade level!

Find out all the laws in your state that define gifted programming for the public schools.

Find out all your district's policies on gifted programming. Ours posts the whole darn thing ver batim on the website. I didn't even look at it til last year! duh. (slapping myself on forehead)

Find out who is on your school board. Anyone you know? Anyone have gifted children?

Lastly, I contacted my State Rep's office recently. It's amazing some of the "loopholes" the summer aide dug up for me!!!

As the boyscouts say: Always Be Prepared!

This is a great thread. Very interesting. We were gone all day yesterday, but I'll throw in DS7's story for what it's worth.

DS7 went to full day kindergarten. He had a young, male teacher who absolutely got to know each kid inside and out. He seemed to have eyes out every side of his head. He had great classroom control, but also went with the flow. He know how to make things more open ended and fun. DS did well there until after the holiday break. He started having some stomach aches in the winter, but socially was loving it. DS was not very confident in his abilities and I had to push a little bit to make sure DS was getting all the extras. And I had to encourage DS to ask for more. It wasn't totally ideal, but it was ok. DS was still himself and had a nice peer group. I had no idea DS was actually GT until he hit a ceiling score on the NNAT (got the scores March of kindy year). I was just hoping he'd get identified (which 40%+ of the kids in the school do).

Fast forward to first grade. He has a teacher who just doesn't deal well with boys and chaos. He didn't have the peer group he had in kindy. The highest achieving kids in the class were girls. He had some kids that were very demanding in a class of 26.

The stomach aches started immediately. He verbalized "I am not learning anything there. I know everything she is teaching". I talked to the teacher about differentiation for him because the highest level for everything she had was still too low. She dropped the ball on this several times.

DS went from being curious to slowly just being bitter and not respectful to many adults. I really feel like his teacher last year in not respecting him and the other kids in the class made him not willing to trust. His focus became becoming the class clown. He still loved school socially, especially after he clicked with a few other boys. But that is all school was about for him.

I saw his papers at the beginning of the year were full of writing and hard work. By the end of the year they were short answers and drawings of video games. I got his journal back at the end of the year and the same thing. Paragraphs written at the beginning of the year down to drawings at the end. Everything he brought home was full of drawings. Volunteering in class, I watched him going from being an active participant at the beginning of the year. To basically drawing the day away and not even listening to the teacher. And she definitely knew he was doing it.

The teacher admitted she didn't know what to do with him. I requested a certain teacher for 2nd grade which was not honored. So homeschooling here we come.

Wow - it actually felt good to type that out! Whew. I see DS coming back slowly but surely. We were in a Newspaper museum at our state fair yesterday and DS had a long drawn out discussion with the man running an antique linotype machines and the mechanics of it. At the end DS said "Great machine! Can you show me how the press works?". It's just great to see that curiosity back!