Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Introducing my DS to things--it has to be his idea

You are not alone! In fact, reading about your DS makes me realize that our DS has made some progress. So take heart, it does get better!

We try not to discuss it. We remind him of the rule and we remind him that there will be a consequence if he doesn't eat it. Maybe no Wikipedia searches that evening? I realize that we should try to use positive reinforcement where possible, but you also have to do what you have to do. We remind him that there are rules and they have to be respected. Once it's established, it becomes part of the routine. Of course, I recognize that it can take a loooong time to get there.

I get that one, for sure. We also use sticker charts at the end of which there is a bigger reward. Pokémon cards work well in our household.

Have you ever heard of Superflex? He has helped us through a lot of situations! You just need to google search. And also, the book Your Fantastic Elastic Brain really helped.

Good luck! We're in the same boat and it always helps to share these tips and tricks. Even if just one of them helps...

Actually, this really backfired for us. After a while, both boys came home saying "I don't like olives." "I don't like hummus." "I don't like dates." Needless to say, we found that one quite frustrating!

That's an interesting idea about backing off making him try new foods. I'll float it with his ASD therapists and see what they think. Maybe I frame it as getting a summer break from trying new things. I'd still want to nudge him to continue to work with foods we've introduced but he hasn't yet accepted. I also feel it's important to put a firm end date on the break. Thank you!

He has been in public school since fall of 2013. The good news and bad news: peer pressure has virtually no effect on him in general, and no effect at all when it comes to food. When he started pre-K I sent bags of pre-cut apples (Crunch Pak brand) to school with him in his backpack to share when the kids had breakfast. (I wanted to make sure there was another breakfast option for fruit/veg beyond orange juice.) When I asked at the end of the year how that had gone, his teacher told me he had gone the whole school year being the only kid in the class who refused to eat them. (He does eat them now, no problem. I'm not exactly sure what got him to change his mind. It might have been getting apple slices in Wendy's kids' meals.)

As for consequences for not honoring the one-bite rule: That's another problem. This kid doesn't have much in the way of currency. I could try linking the three Wiki searches to it, yes, that's an idea.

Have not heard of Superflex or Fantastic Elastic brain--will look into those, thanks!

Oh! Meant to say---glad things have gotten better, but when? When did they get better for you all? Just curious.

Re: trying new food-make a plate of it for yourself or someone else and he will immediately want it Works for us! Be prepared for ups and downs--my DS will eat the same thing for a week and then not want it again for six months (and then he'll be appalled that you don't have it on hand!).

Unfortunately, making a plate of whatever-it-is-new-food for myself does not make him want the food. He'll ask what it is I'm eating, but he'll only ask for a taste if it's ice cream or something that looks like potato chips, crackers, popcorn, that sort of thing. (Pout)

That said? Once he has accepted a food, he rarely turns his back on it. It only falls out of favor with him if I stop serving it on a regular basis.

Sorry to keep belaboring the thread but I felt it important to say--when I send a batch of challenge foods off for his ASD therapist to use in sessions at his afternoon day care, I make sure there are things in there he might like: chocolate-covered blueberries, different flavors of Goldfish, and watermelon gummy rings are in there with hummus dip and mandarin orange cups and tofu snacks and the like. Same deal when putting new foods on his plate at home. He gets credit for trying new foods, period, full stop. One of his most famous refusals is peanut M&Ms. LOVES plain. Fought many attempts to get him to try peanut. Finally did. I think he liked them but won't admit it, because of the peanuts.

Things are still in the process of getting better, because it's not all behind us. But we've made a great deal of progress in the last year and food is much less of an issue now than it used to be for DS6. That said, we still have some other challenges that bring me to tears from time to time (and I have posted about it on this forum!). And it goes in waves - we'll have a few weeks of "easy street" and then the drama rears its ugly head again.

About the food: Have you thought of slowing down your efforts? Is there a reason why he must eat tofu? Are you vegetarians? Because otherwise, you might want to wait and come back to it. It's quite an acquired taste, and you could perhaps wait a while. From what I understand, kids' taste buds do take some time to develop so you could come back to some of the more challenging foods later. And we're always told that you don't want your kids to develop an unhealthy relationship with foods.

And also, it sounds like there's a very broad spectrum - from tofu to watermelon gummies and Wendy's kids' meals. Maybe if you tried to slowly phase out some of the more sugary/junky foods, his palate would adapt to a different range of foods? This is in no way intended to be a criticism (hey, our kids get M&Ms and such), I'm just wondering if it would affect his overall eating habits.

In any case, good luck!

Interesting, thanks for that RRD. Glad you're having progress with him.

As for the tofu...we're starting to eat it ourselves, and the ultimate goal is giving DS the same meals that we eat. We realize that's a way-down-the-road goal. Right now he sometimes gets deconstructed meals--when DH and I have tofu stir fry, DS gets red pepper strips, rice, a piece of broccoli, and we alternate between giving him a chicken hot dog or asking him to eat tofu.

DH and I are now talking about giving DS some time off from trying new things, based on a suggestion upthread. We're working out the terms before running it past DS's ASD therapists.

As for why the spectrum of foods we have him try is broad--we'd like to expose him to a decent range of things while he is still young. Some of them are practical--we want him to get to like cheese so he'll accept a cheese sandwich if he forgets his lunch and needs to take the school's default lunch. That sort of thing.
Another aspect of practicality--we have to limit what he's offered to try at his afternoon center by what's shelf-stable and nut-free.