Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Fear of outdoor activities!

Actually, we also already have a very active cycling of hand-me-downs (and even hand-me-ups, whereby we receive items about 3 sizes too big from one friend and give them to another friend whose son is 2 sizes bigger than DS6 so that he can wear it until it is passed back to us) going on in our house. And he doesn't seem to mind when items are outgrown and given to someone who will use it. We also have a box for keepsakes.

The real problem is with stuff that truly is garbage - the stuff like dried out markers, stickers full of dirt, and shoes with holes. At some point, items truly are no longer useful. And ultimately, I also want to teach the boys that it's the people and experiences that matter, not the stuff. I'm ok with the fact that it'll take a while, but it can sometimes be quite exasperating. Like the time when I had to go fish into the garbage can to retrieve the dried up marker...

One thing that helped at our house was to watch some "Hoarders" excerpts on YouTube and explain (with sympathy for the real mental issues those folks are facing) that you really can't keep all the things, because then this is what your space ends up looking like. (Visiting our hoarder uncle really brought the message home.)

Good suggestion, thanks!

Hi there! I'm new here but have been reading threads on this board for a while. I had to join up to comment on this thread in particular. Our DS5 is not tested but is very bright. He has several "activity" fears as well like skating (ice is too slippery according to him) and some playground activities like climbing etc. He refers to these things as his "green eggs and ham" because he recognizes that he may actually like it if he can be courageous enough to try. We took him to a psychologist last summer and that was helpful for getting him to recognize when he has fallen into a "thinking trap".

As far as the attachment to things is concerned he is the most sentimental person I know. We recently ran into problems with our old, very ugly, blue toilet. When we told him we might have to replace it he actually cried. He worried what would happen to it and begged that we keep it in the storage room. He felt particularly attached to this special toilet because of all the "firsts" he had accomplished on it. Talking about strategies for saying goodbye to a toilet was unexpected! As it turns out the old thing could be fixed with a new hose so he can still do his daily business in his old friend. Can't wait until we decide to remodel the whole bathroom!

Nobody's mentioned this yet (I don't think)--but the phobias and attachments to unusual things are associated with anxiety. The clinical kind. Have you considered that?

DS13 here was fearful of similar things (we've done butterflies,bees, wasps, tornadoes, childhood cancer) during young childhood. It was exhausting and worrisome. He has grown out of most of it, but we do have to reacclimatize to the bees/wasps thing every summer. He still has clinical anxiety, though--it's just changed.

He despaired when we sold a car and bought a new one around that age, too. He truly grieved--took me totally by surprise. His reaction was just like what you describe with your DS re: the goose. All five stages of grief over a car.

At the intensity level you are describing, I wouldn't just decide it's part of his personality. It sounds like something worth investigating, potentially limiting his life experience He may need to learn some coping skills that he's not picking up intuitively.

Yes.

P.S. Evidently w-a-s-p-s is a [SPAM] word.

Yes. Hoarding tendencies here, too. She has been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD. She has Asperger's characteristics but no diagnosis (though we were told to "be careful with this as not all doctors will agree.") But we've also been told by her current teacher that in 20 years of teaching, many in gifted ed, she is the "most gifted" child she has met. Blessing and a curse, I guess?

I loved the fetching a dried marker story. Too familiar.

Yes eco21268, we do suspect that he will possibly/probably be diagnosed with anxiety. In fact, we've already had a child behavioural specialist work with us and him to help provide him with some good coping skills. It helped a great deal but sadly, she retired 6 months ago and we haven't found anyone else yet.

We're getting a full psychoeducational assessment done in a few weeks, and we'll definitely be sharing the anxiety concerns with the psych. At this point, the behavioural quirks are the main reasons we're having him evaluated. We're keeping our fingers crossed that she'll be a good fit and maybe she can also provide some counselling/coaching.

Though I strongly suspect that there is a strong link between his possible giftedness and everything else that is going on. And that seems to be supported by the number of responses from parents sharing their similar experiences with DC who also have/had several fears and the inability to let go of objects. Actually, I would love to know the stats. And I definitely wonder to what extent it is all tied to the OEs. I would be curious to get aeh's views on this...

Though regardless of the cause, we obviously want to help him learn some good reasoning and coping skills so that he can work through all of this and enjoy everything that life has to offer.

The main reason I'm sharing on this forum is because I need support too! It really helps to be able to commiserate with each other.

And THAT is exactly why I am on this forum. How on earth do you explain to anyone else that your DC can't let go of an old blue toilet?? You just can't. Thanks for sharing. It makes me feel better about the old marker, busted up shoes and broken down treadmill. And I know there will be more.

lol we've BTDT. We replaced all of the shiny gold doorknobs in the house with nickle lever ones and it was traumatic. DS had to keep his in his closet for a few months before he was fully ready to give them up. We took them to Habitat For Humanity so they could go to a new home.

While my child is not afraid of outdoor activities (maybe because we are very outdoorsy?) other things here sound familiar (we're about to sell our car and DD is NOT happy!) and she too has anxiety. I agree that it is something to consider.