Gifted Bulletin Board

Welcome to the Gifted Issues Discussion Forum.

We invite you to share your experiences and to post information about advocacy, research and other gifted education issues on this free public discussion forum.
CLICK HERE to Log In. Click here for the Board Rules.

Links


Learn about Davidson Academy Online - for profoundly gifted students living anywhere in the U.S. & Canada.

The Davidson Institute is a national nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted students through the following programs:

  • Fellows Scholarship
  • Young Scholars
  • Davidson Academy
  • THINK Summer Institute

  • Subscribe to the Davidson Institute's eNews-Update Newsletter >

    Free Gifted Resources & Guides >

    Who's Online Now
    0 members (), 86 guests, and 12 robots.
    Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
    Newest Members
    Amelia Willson, jordanstephen, LucyCoffee, Wes, moldypodzol
    11,533 Registered Users
    October
    S M T W T F S
    1 2 3 4 5
    6 7 8 9 10 11 12
    13 14 15 16 17 18 19
    20 21 22 23 24 25 26
    27 28 29 30 31
    Previous Thread
    Next Thread
    Print Thread
    Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4
    Joined: Aug 2009
    Posts: 313
    H
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    H
    Joined: Aug 2009
    Posts: 313
    Originally Posted by Maladroit
    I was more hoping for support or advice when out in public or with other parents/kids because we are watching him like a hawk and DON'T let him do things that other kids his age do (like play in a nearby but out-of-sight room alone).

    I am one of those parents who watches one of her kids like a hawk.

    My oldest is impulsive esp in public, so I have to watch him very closely. My youngest is very responsible (more so than the oldest), so I don't have to supervise her as closely.

    Not only do I receive comments/advices about being too strict. I am also being viewed as treating the kids unfairly.

    At the end of the day, I know my kids best. I have to ignore all the comments/advices and do what's best for the individual kid.

    Good luck!

    Joined: Oct 2015
    Posts: 38
    M
    Junior Member
    OP Offline
    Junior Member
    M
    Joined: Oct 2015
    Posts: 38
    Originally Posted by RRD
    And you know, we do sometimes lose perspective when we're faced with unusual children. So if anyone on this board is offering advice, it might be useful to pay attention to it even if it's hard to swallow. I'm guessing that they are responding because they want to help, not criticize.

    I know it can be mentally exhausting. Good luck! smile

    I wasn't so much as taking it as criticisms, but I wanted to reframe things to hear how other mom's dealt with that type of awkwardness when you really do want to say "my kid isn't quite like yours, back off" to other moms when I catch slack about my inability to sit and enjoy coffee and a chat with them because I'm always following my toddler or redirecting attention or needing to leave because he's overstimulated. I know a lot of the parents here have been through this and I'm just starting out. Since I rephrased my thoughts and added some more clear direction, I seem to have gotten helpful feedback. Thank you all!

    Joined: Feb 2011
    Posts: 5,181
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Feb 2011
    Posts: 5,181
    Originally Posted by eco21268
    Is this your first child?

    If I could have a do-over, after parenting for 25 years, I'd work relentlessly on my own anxious thoughts about how other parents perceive me and let that stuff go. With a therapist, if necessary.

    You and your DH are the experts on your child. It's hard not to internalize all the negative, confusing messages parents receive. You, of course, want to be the perfect parent for your child but you will be happier if you strive toward "good enough."

    You're pretty much damned if you do ("hover") and damned if you don't. Somebody will always think you are doing too much or doing too little. Trust yourselves and keep your child safe.

    And hang in there. smile

    Oh, this is such a GEM of a post. cool

    In some respects, this is the most freeing thing of all about radical (multi-year) acceleration-- it's proof positive that you're parenting an outlier, and that other parents seldom have anything useful to add.

    Of course, they'll still chime in anytime something goes wrong... because naturally, bad things only happen to kids when their parents make bad parenting decisions, right?? wink



    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 199
    N
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    N
    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 199
    In this day and age, with the internet and vast population, someone is always going to be judgemental - whether it is how you parent, how you look, whether you are a SAHM or working mom, breastfed or not... as everyone else said, only you know your child best (no one can ever prepare for all possible scenarios and it is easy to judge afterwards or do the "we should have done this"). Basically the message that we all seem to be bombarded with is that everyone is doing the right thing except you. And yes, some days, I do have doubts over whether I am doing enough right stuff with both kids (polar opposites) that they won't be totally dysfunctional as they get older. Before kids, I wanted to be like those perfect moms - now, I just want to be sure I am doing enough right stuff to keep them on a track that will allow for positive lives.

    I learned - don't spend too much time agonizing over what-might-haves other than try to figure out what to do in future (DH tends to like to stress over what-ifs and I tend to be more "it did not happen, move along now" so we do have periodic differences over that) - and to be able to let go of what others say or may say. If someone is a parent of the child that is relatively "easy going", it is easy to judge and point where someone "messed up" in their parenting - they won't ever have the experience or stress of what it is like to parent a child that defies the conventions.

    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 199
    N
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    N
    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 199
    (also, we lean towards hover parents category - because DS is way too trusting and will go off with anyone who is friendly while DD will do things that scares us to death at times - we just don't apologize - I tend to have the attitude of these are my kids and I will watch them as necessary for safety reasons). If you don't want to explain yourself - just don't. I don't unless they ask me directly, otherwise I just smile and continue with whatever I do.

    Joined: Jun 2014
    Posts: 469
    LAF Offline
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Jun 2014
    Posts: 469
    I have learned that the parents of gifted kids usually have one thing in common - feeling judged by other parents.

    That and utter exhaustion wink

    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 4,074
    Likes: 6
    A
    aeh Offline
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    A
    Joined: Apr 2014
    Posts: 4,074
    Likes: 6
    I just want to add that I was an extremely skilled and wise parent...up until we had children. wink

    Hang in there. We're all learning and growing every day.


    ...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
    Joined: May 2016
    Posts: 24
    A
    Junior Member
    Offline
    Junior Member
    A
    Joined: May 2016
    Posts: 24
    my mom liked to say that for nurotypical people, input comes in one way and goes out the other, but for me it comes in one way, bounces around for a bit, and that comes out in a random direction.

    Joined: Dec 2012
    Posts: 2,035
    P
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    P
    Joined: Dec 2012
    Posts: 2,035
    Originally Posted by AnnieQuill
    my mom liked to say that for nurotypical people, input comes in one way and goes out the other, but for me it comes in one way, bounces around for a bit, and that comes out in a random direction.

    My grandmother used to stop to tell mums struggling that the boisterous ones were more rewarding in the end. I remember her telling one mum that although some days she may wish for a 'suet pudding' child who sat where she was put that in the long run she would be happier with the type she had.

    My children are NOT suet pudding children.

    Joined: May 2016
    Posts: 24
    A
    Junior Member
    Offline
    Junior Member
    A
    Joined: May 2016
    Posts: 24
    I was not a nice little kid...but it made me a decent person. In my defense I have three learning disorders, and that's hard to deal with when your in elementary school. And yeah, I'm not pudding.

    Page 3 of 4 1 2 3 4

    Moderated by  M-Moderator 

    Link Copied to Clipboard
    Recent Posts
    Help with WISC-V composite scores
    by aeh - 10/28/24 02:43 PM
    i Am genius and no one understands me!!!
    by Eagle Mum - 10/23/24 04:11 PM
    Classroom support for advanced reader
    by Heidi_Hunter - 10/14/24 03:50 AM
    2e Dyslexia/Dysgraphia schools
    by Jwack - 10/12/24 08:38 AM
    Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5