Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy I need some direction.

Lots of good comments above. I'll just add:

1.Clarifying: the WISC-V can be taken once every two years.
2.Rapport is very important.
3.Any competent psychologist can obtain a good set of scores. It's the interpretation and recommendations that depend on an expert clinician.
4.You and your child both need to feel comfortable with the evaluator; you need to be able to trust the outcomes.

Thank you all, again, for your input. It really helped me to calm down, trust my instincts, and regroup.

We have made some good progress. I told DD's psychologist that we were not willing to go forward with the screening with the ASD specialist at that practice because the rapport was so bad. She said that she would talk to the team there to see if we could be switched to one of the other ASD specialists. While we were waiting to hear back from her, DD's principal emailed me and asked me to come in for a chat. I met with the principal a few days later, and she basically just sat me down and said "What do you want?" Which was overwhelming, really. I don't know what I want, I don't know what we need, because I don't even know what we're facing yet. It sounds like she was mostly pushing in the direction of specifics for 504 accommodations, at least for the anxiety. Knowing where and when to accommodate and intervene with a child's anxiety is difficult, because there's a line somewhere between where special care should be taken, yet exposure is important for moving forward. I am obviously way too new to this to be deciding where that line is.

The principal mentioned things about this "pandora's box of testing", and what, really, is the point in labeling a child. I understand her concerns and can see where she is coming from, but I also maintain a wariness of that sort of thinking. There's a large poster in the school office, one of the first things you see as you enter to pick up your child or check in for a meeting, that says "What difference does the difference make?" Again, I can understand the sentiment and some of its value, but each time I see the stupid thing I want to yell "Really? Where should I start?!" I'm sure some of you can understand.

Anyway, the best thing to come out of the meeting with the principal was that she ended up giving me the name of a psychologist she had worked with a lot in the past. She said that he is mostly-retired, but that I should try to contact him to see if he would be willing to take us on. It is a self-pay situation, but it seemed worth looking into. I contacted him, and as soon as we began talking it felt like I had found an old friend. His methods are different than the hospital practice's ASD screening, but it sounds like a very good difference. He prefers to observe the child in the classroom and at recess before ever having met with the child (both so that the child doesn't know that they're being watched, and so that he can get a very real picture of what issues may be there.) It sounds ideal. He does not plan to do a WISC, which I am fine with.

I have since heard so many glowing reviews of this dr. DD's psych ended up offering us an appointment with a dr at their practice that would be a better fit, who I have also heard good things about, but when she and I discussed the pros and cons of going this private route, vs using their system, she even ended up saying that if it were her own child and she could afford it, she would definitely go this private route. So I am hopeful that we are finally able to get some good answers. I am aware that regardless of the diagnosis, I am really only getting started on whatever the journey will be. But it's at least a step forward, I guess.

Sounds like you are making some headway, so that is good news. Post an update when you get some news.

As far as the poster, that says "What difference does the difference make?" I would be tempted to take a sharpie and write some sort of snide comment on it while no one is looking. See how long it takes them to notice the "difference".

A poster like that would drive me crazy. I hope it goes well.

I'd be tempted to ask, very nicely, about the poster. Something like "I've never seen that poster before, what are you hoping people get from reading it?" If they say, "people are all the same," then you have some important information about their likely inability to work with differences that matter. If they say, "that there are differences between people, but not all differences matter (ex. skin color, height), so we treat everyone with respect," you know you are dealing with a more positive intent.

That's just my personality, though.

I'd also ask - or ignore. There's a chance that the poster was put up by someone else and no one in the admin or school is even paying any attention to it or thinks anything of it. It stands out to you because you're in the midst of advocating and also acutely aware of your child's differences.

I used to cringe in middle school when one of ds' main teachers (who was a *wonderful* teacher) used to bring this up every time we'd have a discussion about ds' challenges/accommodations/etc - she would always say, at some point, "pbDS, everybody has *something*" (meaning everyone has their own challenge that's tough to get through). I hated that because it felt like she was comparing the significant challenges that ds was facing with classroom work due to things he couldn't control (dyspraxia in his case), to someone like me who had a tougher time in English than in math. I thought it was coming from a place of not understanding. However.... while it was grating for me to hear... ds heard it repeatedly, understood where the teacher was coming from, and he took it to heart... and now that he's moved on from middle school and is on the threshold of adulthood, he still holds it in his heart... his teacher recognized that his dyspraxia didn't define him, and that everyone has their own "something", and his dyspraxia is just that - his "something". Not something that defines him.

Sorry to ramble off course - good luck as you move forward with advocating!

polarbear

Update--

We had DD's evaluation with the private psych this morning. He was amazing. There was no growling involved at all. I won't know any details until we sit down with him for the final report later this month, but he told me that it's definitely not ASD. So that's a relief, I suppose. He did mention OCD, but that's not really any earth-shattering news at this point.

I think he did some WIAT-III testing and some other things I was not familiar with. I suppose we'll find out more about that when we get the final report. He said he can do a WISC-V on her at some point down the road, but he doesn't feel like this is a good time. When we briefly discussed how the school had tested her with the RIAS he said that that test is junk, and "just a screener." So, there's that.