Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Experience With "Student Led Conferences" ???

Anyone have experience with this? Our district is switching to this model of conference. In the past, I had no problems taking the lead with ineffective instruction. Now they want the child to run the conference.

Both of my children are not feeling challenged in math and the eldest is afraid to say something during this type of conference in front of her teacher for fear of retribution.

Maybe it's not a problem. Just not sure as we have not seen this before and can find very little info from other parents online (mainly reviews from schools saying how great it is).

I think we have this and it was idiotic. The student fills out a form ahead of time stating what they would like to improve on, lists a couple ways they could do this, what they need, etc. The whole 10 min. that we had with DD were spent trying to get her to say something meaningful, that I did not have any time at all to discuss my REAL concerns or ask any questions. I suppose it is a good opportunity for a child to make it known that they want more challenge in a certain area, and it could lead to a discussion about that, but I just don't think the odds of that going anywhwere are going to be very high. I really wanted to just talk to the teacher and ask some questions with DD and DS left in the hallway, but it wasn't possible so nothing of real significance was discussed at all.

I bet a lot of schools are going to this "model" so that the teacher is essentially off the hook. I think it might work Ok for Jr. High or high school, but for elementary, it's a disaster (or at least, that was my experience with it--that I walked away from the conference feeling like it went no where and I still had no idea what was going on in school).

Younger children are wise to keep from saying anything controversial in a parent-teacher meeting. They're at the mercy of both parties, they are uninformed about their rights, and they have no idea what reasonable options are available to them.

ETA: It might be nice if the school administrator who concocted this nonsense showed similar wisdom.

We have fall teacher-led and winter student-led. The student-led is watered down like more of a 'here's what I've been doing thing.' Not that I don't love seeing my kids work on their self-advocacy and understanding their strengths and goals in that context, but the same anxiety issues pepper them, and having a teacher ask 'what can I do to help you like math more' is like an elephant on the shoulders of an empathic girl who loves her teacher and doesn't like to make anyone feel bad.

Student -led conferences in elementary school make no sense. We had them for a year or two in 7-8, but that's gone now. But even worse, and doing this with student-led is really crazy, is the 5-minute "speed-dating" conference night.

Keep in mind, though, that you should ALWAYS be able to schedule a private conference with your child's teacher at a mutually convenient (or inconvenient!) time.

Thank you. This confirms what I was somewhat feeling before going in. I have read from some reviews from educators that it is useful to "take unnecessary pressure off of the teacher by focusing on the student".

When your kids are in the 98/99th percentile on NWEA you don't have an issue with the student's performance, you have a curriculum problem that can't be addressed by showing they are performing excellent at grade level work. I'm going to have a hard time seeing how this type of conference will be beneficial.

Fun question. I love strategic thinking.

This looks to me like a very weak and obvious attempt at disempowering “pushy” parents.

The most effective strategy might be for your children to be brutally honest while still respectful. The innocent desire of a child can perhaps be more powerful than anything you could have said.

You and your children could also perhaps turn this into a leadership game/practice when planning for the conference—less pressure if the focus is on the game and getting better each time.

My dd's 9 yo (current 4th grader) school does student led conferences. I've learned that if I have something more important to discuss I schedule a separate conference, which they recommend.

I honestly didn't like them at first, I viewed them as a complete waste of time and didn't feel they were beneficial. But then I saw how much my dd enjoyed showing me her work, their work on the walls, how the classroom is organized and functions (there is a portion of the conference where she gives a tour of the classroom) and I changed my opinion. It gives my dd a sense of pride and she enjoys it. I think it also gives them a more active and responsible role in their learning.

That said, last year was a rough year in terms of dd being challenged in her self-contained gifted class. She was bored in math and hated school. At spring listening conferences dd and I sat down with her teacher and dd put the teacher on the spot. The students are supposed to write down anything they want to talk about about a week before the conferences and dd was QUITE prepared. She had prepared a list of things to ask and had rebuttals prepared for the teacher's answers, she was like a lawyer. It wasn't at all disrespectful, she just questioned how math was being taught and why she was being made to repeat things she already showed mastery on... Etc... I was floored and at one point I think I was turned and looking straight at dd with my mouth open (we sit side by side with the teacher across the table). Dd was advocating for herself and was doing an amazing job of showing the flaws in the math program. I honestly came in to that listening conference expecting to hear the usual song and dance. And to this day I'm sure the teacher thinks I put dd up to it.

Sadly nothing really came of it, the teacher's answers were basically non-answers and I knew things wouldn't change. I felt so proud of dd but at the same time so sad for her because she didn't get any answers or the change she was hoping for. I did tell her that she did so well advocating for herself and that just because it didn't change anything that she shouldn't stop advocating for herself.

Three years ago if somebody were to tell me that dd would speak up to an adult and express how she feels, or question them, I wouldn't have believed them. My kid used to stare at the wall with her back to the class and never participated. In addition to the benefits she gets from her G&T class, I think the way her school involves them in the learning process and encourages them to be responsible for their learning has made a difference with her. She's much more confident and outspoken.

I don't think typical "parent/teacher conferences" are long enough to discuss serious concerns, anyhow, so I don't see a big problem with the student-led variety.

At least that is true in our district--they are scheduled back-to-back, in 15 minute intervals. You might have 10 solid minutes, at best.

Many students love showing their parents what they've been doing in class.

Same experience here. We've had them since our kids were in early elementary (across several different schools). At first I felt they were ridiculous and frustrating - for *me* - I was going into the conference expecting to have a talk between parent and teacher and an opportunity for me to ask for things to happen in the classroom. That really isn't what the student-led conference is about - it's an opportunity for your child to reflect on their work and show you what they've done, which work they've enjoyed, what they would do differently or hope to do more of etc.

I do believe that over time, being involved in their conferences and having the experience of learning how to put together a portfolio and then presenting it to their parents, combined with the self-reflection on their work, was a genuinely good thing for my kids. I'd also add that while there were some comments above about how it takes responsibility/work/burden/etc off the teacher, that never seemed to be the case in our conferences. The student was "leading" but the teacher was still involved *ahead* of the conferences in helping students learn how to think through what they'd worked on, choose which pieces they wanted to share, and think critically about how to present the work. The teachers were also definitely a part of the conference - if I had a question about anything that either my child showed me or talked about or anything else related to school, I could ask it. If my child stumbled or got lost or wasn't sure what to say next, the teacher was their to guide them.

One other note - conferences are *short* - even if you are going into a traditional parent-teacher conference, there is rarely (here) time to talk about anything meaningful in depth or past the cookie-cutter report on your child. And your conference is only one conference out of many the teacher has to get through and check the box off for. Any time I've had something "more" or "different" I've needed to ask for or talk to a teacher about, the most direct and effective way to accomplish it was to schedule a meeting with the teacher outside of conference days.

So, fwiw, I wouldn't be worried about the conferences. OTOH, if I had an issue I wanted to address with the teacher, I wouldn't wait for the conference, I'd ask for a meeting with the teacher. Depending on what I wanted to discuss and the age/personality of my child, I'd either ask the child be included or ask for a separate meeting that was parent/teacher only.

Best wishes,

polarbear