Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Push for more differentiation if child happy?

If your child is doing well in school and seems happy and challenged in most areas, do you still push for challenge in an area of strength or do you wait until your child expresses boredom or dissatisfaction?

My son is six weeks into kindergarten and it is going very well- much better than we had ever hoped for! After a stressful year of worrying about my son's challenges and agonizing about finding the right school for him, this is quite a relief. My son is really enthusiastic about school and is enjoying classes that I didn't expect him to appreciate (drama, Spanish, music, art). His attitude has shifted dramatically and tasks that he has always resisted (writing, drawing and reading) he now tackles enthusiastically. He has peers (at least half the boys in his class are gifted) and is enjoying imaginative play during recess (he didn't really do this in preschool and didn't connect to the kids there). My son reports that he is happier than he has ever been.

The only concern I have is about whether he will be challenged with math. My son is fairly precocious in math (he started to multiply in his head at three, understands fractions and percents, likes to convert various units of measurement for fun and loves to talk about probability and combinatorics). When I see his class doing basic pattern work or talking about shapes, I cringe. I know the teachers must cover basics but I wonder if I should step in or talk to the teachers or if I should instead wait until there is a problem. My son is very happy and reports that he is learning things every day. Is it better to let him focus on learning what he has struggled with (social skills, reading) and not worry about the fact that he isn't challenged in math right now? Or is it better to be proactive and seek out more challenging work so my son grows and feels challenged in this area?

Here is some relevant background on his school. His school has a STEAM focus with small classes (fifteen kids with two teachers; there is a math/science specialist in each class). The school is focused on project based learning and the kids are broken up into small groups according to ability. There are cross grade reading groups and the school is considering doing the same for math. When the kids get to fifth grade, their math classes blend children of various ages based upon math ability. The standard curriculum aims to have children doing math about a year ahead of the common core requirements . There are several gifted kids in my son's class who are all strong in math. The teachers have expressed a commitment to make sure that every child grows in every subject this year. They are still assessing the kids' math ability but will be grouping them according to ability. For now, they are doing at least one project a week that is supposed to let kids work at their level (math talks where they have a topic and each kid does their own project and comes back and shares with the group). My hope is that once kids are grouped according to ability, my son will get much more challenging work. On the other hand, I am guessing his group won't be working two or three years ahead.

We have our first parent teacher conference coming up in a couple of weeks and I'm wondering how I should approach this. Or should I just wait and see how things evolve? I'd appreciate any insight from parents who are further along in this journey!

If you think your DS would enjoy more of a challenge in math, I would definitely adovocate for that. Your school sounds similar in ours in that there are flexible groupings. So a good percentage of 5th graders are either doing 6th grade math in the 5th grade classroom, or they are actually moved to the 6th grade to do more advanced math and they ability-group there as well. I don't think there is as much movement in the lower grades but DS's computerized achievement test results were so high, they decided he needed an out of the norm placement, so last year in second grade he went to a 5th grade classroom and was doing math at a 6th grade level. Now he is going to a 6th grade classroom to do math at some advanced level (who knows what--I forgot to ask). It has worked out very well because they have the math schedules more or less aligned with each other. I would ask about above-level testing to see what material he can handle, if there are gaps, etc. I wouldn't let it go just because he's not complaining. He probably is settling for the lower level math and doesn't know any better.

We started after-schooling because she really wanted to do.

I am not going to ask for differentiated math at school since she has grown so much in such a short period that I am inclined to believe that they are meeting her overall needs.

Her favorite subject is P.E. and she thinks school is a wonderful place where she gets to spend time with her best friends and play all day. So, if we have to spend 10 minutes a day at home for her to get her daily dose of math, I can live with it.

It's great to hear that K so far has been successful & happy place for your son. I personally would not push for more math at this time. When my DS16 was in the same situation I didn't. If he wants more challenging math, I would informally after school him. There are a lot of ways to challenge him at home.

At this point in K your son is learning a LOT of new things. All parts of his life don't need to be challenging, new and difficult at the same time. It sounds like he is enjoying these new things and math is only one small part of the K curriculum. You son has YEARS to learn math and if you did push for more challenging work it's quite possible it would still be "easy" for him.

Despite my suggesting that you don't need to push, you can still bring this up when talking with the teacher. Making the teacher aware that your son loves math and can do math way above grade level is still a good thing for the teacher to know.

Wow Lepa. That sounds like a great school and what a relief to have such a positive experience. It does sound like that are getting to the math component and perhaps once they really get to know your son they can put a more comprehensive plan in place for him. I agree with others that there is nothing wrong with having a conversation with the school saying pretty much what you have said here. Tell them about the great things you son is doing and thank them. Then mention the math and ask if they have any ideas.
The other thing I would do is look for a math mentor for him. Someone he can hive his discussions with and keep him enthused. I am not necessarily thinking formal tutoring but a tutor who would work as a mentor. It should be about fun and keeping him sparking with those great thoughts.
Congratulations on finding such a great situation for your son and for always looking for ways to make his life better.

I would ask him if he enjoys the math that he does at school. If the answer is "it's too easy" or "too boring" (or whatever), I would advocate for him. I wouldn't wait for a child that young to complain, because sometimes they don't know to do that. I don't think that a kindergartner needs to learn division or exponents, but the problem is that if it is way too easy, and a child is forced to do math that they learned years ago, they learn to tune out or become careless. Then when they do actually confront challenging concepts, they don't know how to handle it. I think this concept applies whether a child is 5 or 9 or 13. At the back to school curriculum night, one of the teachers was talking about how the kids are not necessarily in their "grade level" for particular subjects, they are "putting the kid in the level that they need in order to learn." I thought that was a nice way of putting it.
I don't think that making sure a child is making progress is "pushing". If you were homeschooling, you wouldn't say "Ok, you know the whole curriculum for this year, so we don't need to do anything", or "we'll just go over this same stuff again even though you already know it." You'd find the right level for him, and that's what schools should be doing as well. When I asked about having my kids accelerated, it wasn't about needing them to get ahead, it was to spare them the torture of wasting their time on lessons/activities that did very little for them. If he already knows the material, you know there is some boredom involved, no matter how colorful or cute the shapes are. Plus the point of school is to learn, and every child should be learning in each subject. Your school sounds flexible, so I would take the opportunity to broach the subject and see what comes out of it.

Excellent that you're having a good experience at school! It sounds like an excellent school. We're in a bit of the same boat, at a wonderful school with amazing teachers, super fast curriculum, and my ODS is very happy. He's beyond the curriculum but enjoying it.

Have you talked to the teacher at all? Seen how he's fitting in at the moment? My ODS was getting very easy books sent home, so we had a chat and she's sending harder books and willing to let him move up as fast as he wants.

FWIW, ODS gets advanced math work outside school, and his reading level isn't limited by classmates. In school he's learning writing (something he needs help with!), story-telling, and spelling, so there is challenge there. But math is really simple (counting to 20, shapes) so it's good to have an out-of-school option he likes.

I was always happy as a child in math class�getting straight As and A+s. I went to �normal� schools in Germany. I also spent 99% of my time not learning any math at all. Instead, I turned every problem into a �try to solve this as fast as possible� game. That can truly be a lot of fun; handing in your tests after 30 minutes and getting a wink from your teacher five minutes later that you got another A+ when everyone else is only halfway through the questions is a joy.

It is also a waste of time.

I am now so far behind my potential, I do not even know what my limits are. I currently use Khan Academy to catch up on missed opportunities, and learn the curriculum of years in weeks without any real effort; but I am constantly frustrated with the slow pace. I also never realized I could learn this fast because I never had the opportunity in school.

This is my personal experience with not facing sufficient challenge in math.