Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Advocating for an Anxious Child

newtogifted, I have very limited time at the moment, so haven't had a chance to read the other replies. If I'm repeating something or missed extra info from you, I apologize! Just thought it might be useful to share a bit of our experience as food for thought.


Do you have a brief report from the psych who did the testing? What parts are you sharing? This is jmo, but fwiw I think there's little that you have that is going to cause issues if you *do* share it - and it might help explain some of the ambiguity in your situation (just the way I see it, could be completely off base, but fwiw just another way of looking at this).

I would definitely think through - what are you sharing, and is it going to lead the school staff to say "why didn't you have subtest x?" for instance, and you also don't want the school staff to think you're purposely *not* sharing info, because that might lead them to infer lower scores or something else that you are hesitant to share. And I totally get that you're hesitant to share! It's a real tough situation to think through how to approach when you have scores that aren't all showing what you'd hoped or that aren't easy to decipher and put together a meaningful story from.


Processing speed doesn't go into the GAI - just mentioning that in case you weren't aware. Was there a large gap in processing speed?


This is absolutely a possibility, but otoh, I'd also consider that he was tested using two different instruments both measuring some component that measures processing speed. Those relatively low scores, combined with anxiety and perfectionism noted at school, would suggest that it is worth pursuing a bit more testing to determine why the processing scores are lower than the other scores. It might be nothing - and that's useful information even if that's all you get. If you do find something (an LD, vision issue, fine motor issue, whatever), you'll be glad you found it out now and not 1-2 years from now.

When my ds (dyspraxic, dysgraphic, expressive language disorder) was in K-2 in early elementary, he developed HUGE anxiety - to the point he was almost clinically depressed. Anxiety may exist in some kids simply because they are anxious, but it's been my experience that many times there is a reason behind the anxiety that's driving it, and the anxiety is the way that person's personality *reacts* to stress. My ds also had a WISC right before K that showed a dip in processing speed but the psych felt he was just going slow and being careful and not understanding that a timed test meant you should work your fastest. We were testing to see if his IQ was high enough to qualify for a gifted program and had no clue he had a challenge, so we didn't think anything of that particular processing speed score other than assuming the psychologist was correct in her assumption. At school, ds appeared to be bored to tears with a lot of the work (work refusal of simple things like easy math worksheets etc) and also appeared to move slowly in his work, which looked like perfectionism to us. We chalked everythign up to gifted behaviors and didn't think twice about it. Then his anxiety started ramping up... and up.. and up.. and it just kept getting worse until 2nd grade when we finally had a teacher who was wise enough to recognize that there was some kind of challenge. Once ds was diagnosed and had accommodations in place, his anxiety evaporated. It still comes back from time to time, but it's always secondary to his challenge. If there *is* something going on that's causing the anxiety then you really need to figure out the root cause in order to accommodate effectively. Having a good understanding of what's causing the anxiety will also help when advocating for your ds at school.


Exactly - except that I'd add LDs and more to the list of things that can appear as inattentiveness and anxiety.


We don't have psychs in our area who specialize in gifted kids. My experience has been that it wasn't necessary to have that experience. It sounds like what you've had so far is ability and achievement testing, perhaps to get your ds id'd as gifted. What might be the most helpful now is to find a psych who is either a neuropsych or who performs educational evals - this type of eval goes further than just the ability/achievement testing, it includes tests that will tease out why things like processing speed test scores are lower than other scores etc.


I would write down exactly what happened (as far as you know), including the principal's reaction and follow-up. It sounds, quite honestly, unprofessional. You may not ever use what you've written down, but it's helpful to keep a record of what happens at school.


For your meeting tomorrow, take a list or summary of how anxiety presents in *your* child.


Advocating at school can be extremely difficult and frustrating depending on the school setup and the school staff. One thing that helps, no matter how contentious the staff you're dealing with is, is to have as much of a thorough understanding of what's up with your child as you can possibly have at any one given point in time. It sounds like you really don't have all the answers yet. Be sure to listen to what the school has to say - it may be tough and frustrating and annoying, but there may also be valuable bits of info there that are important to understanding what's up. Also don't be afraid to say you don't have an answer or know what's best if you truly don't. The idea is the school will work with you to help your ds.

Last piece of advice, try to tease out - is this really a gifted issue (gifted child in classroom not being challenged) or a situation where a child with a challenge that hasn't been identified is acting out because of the challenge? It doesn't mean your ds isn't gifted if he has a challenge - but if he does have a challenge, you need to focus on that (understanding, appropriate remediation, effective accommodations) in order for your ds to be able to *show* his gifts.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Meeting went okay. I started with some common ground things. "We need to help DS gain better control." We went down a few paths that easily led me to give them a couple articles explaining what anxiety CAN look like in a child. I started with, "I had to learn this, too. It's not what we, as adults, tend to think anxiety looks like." I think that helped.

We discussed perfectionism and possible things that can be done in the classroom. And we talked about academics. I told them the doc recommended enhanced curriculum, so we discussed some options there. The teacher was very receptive to all of it. The anxiety, the curriculum, etc.

The principal wanted his IQ scores. I said no. She assumed they must have been bad. He had a 120 GAI. I said the doc said there could be external factors that influenced his tests, so the score may not be valid. He still has his original score, so I don't want to give them a score that isn't valid. And...I paid for it.

Principal did try to nail me on an "I told you so" moment by saying, "So it's a good thing we didn't move him to second grade," to which I said, "I wasn't trying to get him moved to second grade; I was asking for the IAS to see if that would be a good option." BTW. After DS expressed concern and started focusing on it WAY too much, I had already decided it'd send him into a tailspin.

Over all, I feel like the meeting was a win. For now.

I am sure that is a relief. It's very positive that the teacher seems to be on board.