Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Challenged - when does it happen?

My son and I were talking yesterday morning and as a wise ten year old 5th grader he came to the conclusion that he could have just attended the even years of elementary school. K,2,4 and skipped PreK,1,3,5. He did skip 3. He was musing on if the other even grades should have been skips or just stayed home that year. I pointed out he had the Best Second Grade teacher of all times and he wouldn't have wanted to miss her and he agreed. He would magically have moved her to 4th (which she teaches now).

I think the even year plan is great. K,2,4 for elementary...6 and 8 for middle (and here most gifted 8 th graders are taking for credit a hs math class (either algebra or now geometry), a high school science, and sometime a high school business/computer introductory course. Or another STEM/engineering intro course (so they have the prerequisite for higher electives in high school that first year) so for the most part 8th grade is half 8th half 9th grade.

Then you have 9th and tenth grade and if lucky can take advantage of dual enrollment or eary college or APs or some combination.

In a fun coincidence, when I got home last night DD14 gave me a bit of into that explains why HS has been a little more challenging than MS - she can pack her year with more learning opportunities. Her school handed out transcripts and went over what all the data meant. DD14 informed me she has more credits right now (end of 2nd trimester of 10th grade) than the typical student will have at the end of their 11th grade year.

I'm starting to think she'll have more than twice as many credits than needed by the time she graduates...

--S.F.

Possibly go by family values and school policy. I've known children as young as kindergarten with a simple, inexpensive cell phone "for emergency use", such as "missed the bus". This is different than having a phone to display; Some schools disallow cell phones and clarifying language allows students to possess a cell phone but not to display it (cell phone must stay in locker or backpack and not be used during school hours).

Yes, they want to fit in no matter what. But, still-our house, our rules. I will not compromise what I feel is appropriate. Thankfully dd14 is incredibly secure and and sure of herself and wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who gave her a hard time about that stuff. She doesn't care about getting her license later than kids in her grade. I just think those are issues you would have to face whether they skipped a grade or not. I mean my 2nd grader just said, "you just don't understand me, I'm a girl who needs an iphone." sorry, kid. And at her school there are 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders who have them. Though I am skeptical when a kid tells me "all" the other kids have something or doing something. We talk about our family's values and wants and needs and marketing and relational aggression, and choosing friends etc. etc. Re: puberty--there is a very, very wide range of normal. So...again, I think you would have to deal with that grade skip or not.

I would advise against approaching teachers (or anyone) in this manner as it seems unnecessarily adversarial. Some may say it does not describe a team approach or healthy collaboration among adults role-modeling mutual respect but rather sounds a bit negative, offensive, insulting.

ITA. My kids are spread out from high school through upper elementary now, and I haven't ever really seen (in my kids' schools) the situation where suddenly you moved up one grade or one year and all of a sudden all of the kids had cell phones. Some had cell phones way back in 4th grade, some of my ds' friends in high school still don't have them. My ds has a cell phone because I need it to communicate with him because he's at a school across town and involved in after-school activities. We got him the phone when he went to out-of-state summer camp for the first time so he could call home (and so home could call him lol!). Most of his male friends have phones now too but rarely use them. His female friends live for texting. My dds don't have phones yet because they don't need them (7th and 5th grade) - some of their friends do, some don't. Most of their friends have some type of ability to text whether or not they have a phone, and my dds are allowed to text.

Our schools don't allow kids to use phones during the school day, and some of them have rules about phones on campus. When our children have asked about phones etc before we were ready for them to have them, we've simply let them know that it's not the right time in our family and that in our family we go by our family values (as established by the parental units lol!). This really hasn't been a huge issue because there really *are* other families out there that aren't sending their kids to school with electronics. In fact, I'd say that with one exception, most of the families we know locally don't make the step up to getting their children phones until their kids are involved in after-school activities requiring coordination of pick-up and drop-off times and rides etc. And that's something that may ultimately result in you wanting to get your dd a phone a year earlier than you'd planned - because you might end up at that crazy stage of needing to know where your dd is earlier than you would have if she hadn't been accelerated. But I wouldn't over-worry about the phone issue, instead just give it time and see what happens.

FWIW I've found that the most helpful thing for me as a parent re tech as my kids get older is to attend the "online guidelines for parents" meetings that our local police department holds for schools at least once every 2 years or so. The things to look out for really change dramatically from year to year, and those are things that your kids can be exposed to whether or not they own the technology because they will be around kids that do.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Oh yes, our schools have policies! That will guide us for sure.
It's interesting. DD11 really could care less about having a phone and texting. She is happy playing games on the IPod and going to birthday parties. She is comfortable with many kids and has a best best friend. DD10 has always had a harder time with friendship. This texting business has been her connection to people, particularly to those she left behind in 4th. She is also teaching herself coding/creating art on the computer/editing photography and is just fascinated with technology in general so the request for a phone is not all about peer pressure. She was so excited last night because DH talked to her about a phone perhaps for Christmas? Oh boy.

Sorry, didn't mean to come across as the angry mom. I, for the most part, have had the best relationships with our teachers (except, the big bad recent 4th grade one!!). But even our sweet loving 5th grade math, science, and LA teachers aren't following the 504 so it's frustrating. They just forget until I give examples of what happens when we don't work with DD!! Actually DD's science teacher handed an important paper to me to day and said with a smile that she knew it would be safer with me than handing it over to DD to take home. Yep! She's learned.

Yes! It will be interesting to see how next year's math class plays out. As stated, the girls will take 2 1/2 years of math in one year. The last 2 years of middle school math will be high school level. So 3 years ahead DD10, 2 years DD11. But then what? Do the next math classes move quickly? And science is DD10's love (other than technology and writing and art ). That's been her highest level test scores. I really hope she can learn something new and exciting in science but am scaling back my hopes after hearing from most of you here!

Agreed. Not to veer off-topic, yet several safety-minded pointers may be worth mentioning immediately:
- Register child's cell phone with national Do Not Call registry.
- Turn off GPS on photos.
- Be aware that APPs may collect information; Restrict as necessary.
- Recording and/or taking photos may be illegal in some instances.
- Parents may wish to create a written agreement with their child stating rules for cell phone use.
- Parents may wish to check their child's cell phone on a regular basis.
Being aware of cell phone safety may help avoid other types of "challenge" which families do not want to experience.

The FBI offers online guidance for parents, warning about child predators.