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I've been mentally turning over a constellation of observations about DS3.5 over the last few weeks, debating whether there is "something" at play in some of his behaviours. Is he just a bright boy with some overexcitabilities, normal EF for a 3 year old, and resulting asynchronies, or is there some other factor at play?

For regulars, this (LONG) list below will be largely redundant. In a nutshell, this is DS3.5:

Cognitive

• Very verbal from early age, short sentences ~6 months, speaking like an adult at ~1.5-2
• Self-taught basic phonetic reading pre-2, but with little apparent progression. He will occasionally "slip up" and read large print signs at museums or in public, or playfully read words out of books upside down, but refuses to read to himself or me because it is "too slow".
• Well developed and mature sense of humour (esp. word play)
• Intuitive basic numeracy from an early age
• Mechanically driven-- loves to disassemble and build; favourite toys have been real tools since 1
• Impeccable memory--never forgets ANYTHING, remembers ALL words in 100+ page books after hearing them once and will (vociferously!) correct me if I mis-read anything; is a walking encyclopedia
• Fast processing speed, when motivated-- noticed within 2 seconds that a photo on the wall had been changed after we were away on vacation for a week; can complete a 10-item hidden picture puzzle in under a minute; can solve mazes targeted at 5-6 year olds in seconds with his finger
• Seemingly endless attention span when interested
• Needs constant stimulation and has difficulty initiating solo play without someone to converse with

Social/behavioural

• Well developed social skills when motivated, but is mostly disinterested in other children (save for a best friend age-peer, who he plays well with) and prefers adult play partners
• Makes good eye contact, goofy faces, modulates voice as telling stories, has a flair for the dramatic
• Reads others' emotions well
• When unmotivated, refuses contact or ignores others (e.g. hardly ever hugs or kisses--and is never required to do so; will not answer questions or respond to conversation
• Feels threatened by close proximity of others or rapid movement, particularly of children
• Hard to tell "can't" from "won't"--e.g. Jigsaw puzzles. Despises them. Will fight tooth and nail to avoid completing a puzzle but, when "forced", will complete it quickly with minimal assistance (e.g. being handed pieces and being asked, "where does this go?").
• Has great difficulty getting started on a task or seeing next steps, and will melt down
• Physically overexcitable and will hit/wrestle when stimulated, without the intention of being violent. He is aware he does this and will increasingly sequester himself to a calm space when he does this.
• Talks and moves incessantly. Will interrupt conversations and seeks out constant conversation/narrative with nearby parent. When engrossed in an idea, will jump excitedly and gesticulate enthusiastically. Bounces, rolls, jumps, climbs, and wiggles when watching favourite shows, but is calm when reading books.
• Can take him anywhere; he is frequently complimented at restaurants and in public for being unusually well behaved.
• Will abandon games within a few minutes despite knowing how to play, and doing so well
• Difficulty with transitions; needs lots of scaffolding and encouragement to shift gears.

Physical

• Refuses to do any art or craft activities (drawing, painting, clay modeling)
• Limited interest in Lego or blocks, but builds elaborate structures out of disposable plastic cups (e.g. 5-foot tall tower wtih 50+ cups) and other household materials
• Handy with tools (screwdrivers, hammers, cleaning supplies)
• Helps preparing meals (cutting, spreading, pouring, measuring) and does so with virtually no spills, and will voice, "It's no big deal" if he does spill.
• Some evidence of cross dominance with hands--prefers right for unilateral activities; prefers left for bilateral activities
• Doesn't do ANY self-care without assistance-- dressing/undressing, feeding, hand washing (other than ripping off coat or boots)
• Is able to run, jump, climb, swing, kick, throw well, but disinterested in most sports. Can't (or won't?) climb stairs with alternating legs.
• Only just started tolerating playground play this month. Previously refused in a fit of tears to climb or swing on anything.
• Photosensitivity, tactile defensiveness (water, food, hugs/kisses), vestibular difficulty (until recently avoided all playground equipment, doesn't like to be on elevated surfaces or tipped backward)
• Great difficulty falling and staying asleep.

Well, if you've stayed with me, thank you.

I read this piece on NVLD yesterday and had a mini freak-out because it sounded exactly like DS:


I've picked up a copy of Webb et al's "Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults".

Thoughts? I see many of the ADHD traits in DS on the Weiss Symptom checklist (http://www.caddra.ca/pdfs/caddraGuidelines2011WSR.pdf), the selective fine motor refusal has me puzzled, and the hyper-verbal and memory qualities of NVLD, combined with puzzle and art refusal, has me thinking some further investigation may be warranted, although he shows lots of ability in other spatial tasks. Then there are the glaring sensory processing issues around vestibular and tactile defensiveness. I'm inclined to shop this list by his pediatrician to see if she feels any evaluations are warranted.

Then again, he may just be 3, used to having an attentive Mummy around 23/7, and developing frustration tolerance.

I have a lot of experience with 3 year olds, and even gifted 3 year olds. But I don't think I have known a 3 yr old in person at quite the LOG of your ds. I am inclined to say just 3. But I bet you will get some more informed opinions.

I would have thought most kids could spell their name more easily than write it.
I think you will have to watch and wait. Maybe concentrate on increasing self care so you have an easier time. That said kids that age do need help with washing and dressing and are still learning so it is no big deal.

Given the ability to handle small tools in an expert fashion, it doesn't immediately match NLD for me with the quick scan I did of the NLD article.

Cognitively and behaviorally, sounds quite similar to my PG child at that age range (although mine was not yet really a reader, that happened about age 5 and he adored jigsaw puzzles, otherwise much the same). That child also didn't really like Legos until about age 7, but would build big structures out of cans, blocks, shoes, etc... He also wasn't super interested in self-care... until he was...

I wonder re: the other aspects about sensory issues or just plain old asynchronous development combined with high LOG which makes things seem even more out-of-the-ordinary. I would monitor but don't know that I would worry too much. Others may have more expert opinions.

I dunno! I think that much of what you've written sounds like an adorable and delightful 3 year old who is possibly quite bright, maybe gifted. OTOH, I see some red flags for motor coordination. What does his ped say about the motor observations?

To be honest, I suspect that for most of us with 2e kiddos, nothing was very obvious at 3. My ds has Developmental Coordination Disorder in a way that impacts his life tremendously, but I didn't see any of it at 3 years old - I just saw a cute bright kid who had a few quirky little oddball things going on like late talking, not "bothering" to crawl etc. DS also passed all ped "surveys" and well-child visits with flying colors even though in hindsight when he finally was diagnosed at 8 the neuropsych could easily pull a huge number of examples of delays in early childhood milestones that the ped never took notice of. I think it's really easy with high-cognitive-ability kids to brush aside any other concerns such as perhaps hand dominance or the way your ds is climbing stairs, so you are actually in a good place for your ds in that you are noticing and paying attention to each of these things.

Are they issues or challenges? It's quite possibly way to early to really know. Talk to your ped about them, maybe ask for an OT or PT assessment to look into it further. I wouldn't devote much energy to googling things such as NLD etc... there are so many symptoms that are shared between NLD/Autism/DCD/ADHD/etc, as well as being things that sometimes completely NT kids also struggle with. It's quite likely that the best answer to "what's up" isn't going to happen with one eval or in one moment or any time soon. For most of us with 2e kiddos, understanding what was up took years, and definitely took a step into the school years to see the impact of their challenges.

Brief summary: most likely, he's fine. You have some concerns, so bring them up with your ped. If you think a specific type of assessment would be helpful, ask for a referral (I'd ask for OT or PT referral). In the meantime, try not to overthink it. Let the professionals sort out what they can.

Sending you a big hug!

polarbear

ps - has your ds had a vision screening? My totally NT dd had some of the same issues you mentioned above, due to poor vision.

Thanks Deacongirl. Maybe I'm in a crusty, fault-finding jerk mindset lately.

I've received similar references to him having a purportedly high LOG, but sometimes I don't see it. Maybe I'm too close to the source or have totally unreasonable expectations based on my own childhood. Probably both.

Take yesterday: he wanted to pretend to be a baby (he has been toilet training this week, and learned it inside a day after being told that diapers are expensive, and that we could buy more toys and books if he used the toilet, so there has been some identity shift). He wanted to pull out some homemade puzzles I made for him with 2-4 pieces from when he was <1...just little drawings of animals on cardboard. He literally would/could not put together a 2-piece elephant puzzle that he did at 5 months! When handed the pieces, he immediately said, "Oh, the elephant!" And proceeded to stare at them blankly. He wouldn't tell me if he honestly couldn't do it or if he was playing baby after 5 minutes of my waiting.

The reading has me puzzled. Other than asking him to sound out one word from the title of a few books we read at bedtime, I don't do any pushing on reading. Lately he has gotten really angry and will turn his head away when I even ask him to read one word in a day, so I've backed off completely and do nothing literacy-wise other than read the mountains of books that he requests daily (admittedly, I love our snuggly reading). It puzzles me that he was apparently self-taught in basics so early, and seemed highly motivated to read and spell at the time, yet has no desire to progress to independent reading. For instance, DH found a little spelling app when he was early 2, in which you drag letters into slots to spell words that match pictures, and he demanded to do the whole thing (probably ~500 words) in a few days. The dramatic shift from stratospheric to nonexistent interest is what has me concerned. Maybe there is more going on underneath the surface that I'm observing. I don't see any other vision issues, but I wonder if that merits investigation. We had a disastrous reaction to a pediatric ophthalmologist in the fall.

Thanks ConnectingDots. I've had my eye on the sensory stuff for a while, as I had similar vestibular issues as a child (and still do as an adult). It's a fine line between watchful waiting and seeing pathology where it doesn't exist, I find!

Exactly my thoughts. That was the impetus for the push to toilet training. He's been ready for over a year, just didn't believe he could until recently.

it may be something as simple as asynchronous development or something to monitor... DS4 is not quite as high LOG as your son is displaying, but at 3, he hated anything to do with drawing, writing, art and from what we seen, DS is very age average physically but mentally ahead. We plan to do an OT evaluation this summer since his motor skills are his weakness and we don't want it to be a weakness that holds him back or frustrates him - I understand from our discussion with the psychologist we consulted (the one we did testing with) that as long as his motor skills are age appropriate right now, the gap between his motor and mental levels is not an issue, but if his motor skills fall below age appropriate, then it is a cause for concern. The earlier you catch specific gaps, the easier it is to correct... but we do have family history with LDs like dysgraphia hence we need to monitor more closely.

However, having said that - as I mentioned, DS at 3 hated, hated anything art, playdough or paper related. I don't know if it was his daycare environment or just he was not ready yet... but this year, he is in a GT school, and now, a year later, loves art and loves doing drawings. He is still age-appropriate for writing but he does not hesitate to draw (trucks, scenes etc - he happy finds the markers and pencils and gets busy, and his art club is one of his favorite activities at school now). I do not know how much is simply being in an environment where they do not push him to finish paperwork, but they expect everyone to put in best effort and simply make it fun. But whatever it is, at home, he is constantly drawing scenes and comes home with drawings that he made and writing they did in school.

And this was the year where suddenly, he really got into Lego and doing the Lego kits himself - even though the kits are for 7+, we just give him the book and kit and he does it all himself now. He used to ask me to help with stickers and now he figured out how to get them onto the tiny legos himself - so the only time we get involved is if there is something he can not do yet due to a motor skill or if something got slightly out of alignment and we need to trace back where it is. Before this year, despite all the blocks and duplos (we have a younger child so we limited certain toys until this year due to choking hazards when she was in the mouthy stage), he was eh about blocks. His sister at 2.5 has been way more into the duplos then he was at the same age.

I'm just a layperson/parent but a lot of this sounds like reasonable asynchronous stuff for a gifted kid. Things can be all over the map (and frequently are!).