Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Immature or something else?

Welcome to the "club." Not to be flippant, but this seems so common with gifted kids. You may want to read up on the concept of asynchrony. FWIW, these issues seem to nearly disappear for us when DS is in his accelerated classes.

Are you seeing this in other contexts?

We (DH and I) had been vascillating on whether to contact the psychologist regarding this issue. He did say that the difference between Working Memory/Processing Speed and the other scores was great enough that it would technically be considered an LD, but that we would be very unlikely to receive accomodation because of it. He suggested we work on things that don't come easily to DS like soccer or baseball to help develop that part of the brain. He said sometimes he will see improvement in that score when the brain is challenged. I reveiwed the psych report and there was no mention of maturity issues.

According to DS, the reading time is one of the bright spots of his day. He works with the highest level reading group in the class he goes to. He has NEVER had a reading group to work with, he has always been the only child in his reading level. He loves the third grade class because he reads at his level with other kids.

I have seen the same behavior, but not when he is engaged in what he is doing. One example is while sitting on the bench during a soccer game, he is known to fool around and not pay attention to what is going on in the game. We saw it to a lesser extent when we were trying to work with him on his 100 question math fact tests. He knew the facts, but could not concentrate to do all 100 problems in 10 minutes. But if it's a Wimpy Kid book or Minecraft, or more recently learning to program Scratch or Java, he can concentrate like nobody I have ever seen.

I have spoken to both his Sunday School, Junior Church and AWANA leaders, they say he is the best kid in the class.

I doubt we have a 2E situaton mainly because the reason we had him tested was because of the behaviors we saw during soccer bench time and during the math tests the psych said there was no concern for ADD or ADHD - he tested as a normal 7 year old. Which is why I am thinking it's lack of challenge (a better way of phrasing it than boredom!) However it is equally possible that I am not looking at all sides of this thing, so your input and questions are most welcome!

Thanks.

I have read some on asynchrony, and I was pretty sure that's what she/they were seeing. But a parent saying it, and being able to back up your comments with expert resources are two different things, you know what I mean?

I also spoke with someone in the enrichment program DS attends on Saturday mornings, her response was "they don't have much experience dealing with gifted kids, do they?" I think that may be the crux of the issue.

We met with the teacher and principal when he was in first grade because he was reading way ahead, but his teacher refused to recognize it, claimed he did not have the comprehension because he could not identify the -ly word in a sentence....uhhhh that's grammar, lady, not reading comprehension! Neither the teacher nor the principal were very interested in hearing our child needed anything different than regular old first grade curriculum. DS had not been tested, and we knew they wouldn't do it, so we went independent for testing. The school now has to recognize DS giftedness, but they really don't want to do much for him. By law the school had to provide him services, but they are not funded by the state. I think mostly DH and I don't want to be "those parents" but when you are dealing with giftedness, I am finding that you HAVE to be one of "those".

Oh... this strikes a nerve with me and you have my full sympathy.

My daughter was almost denied admission to the gifted math program because "she's too shy" (REALLY?? This is MATH, not public speaking). My son, meanwhile, "Needs to play a team sport. You should enroll him in a team sport." (insert profanity here to represent my reaction).

Fyi my kids have friends (thank you very much) AND are active and healthy.

One of my pet peeves is western culture's obsession with team sports for socialization.LET IT GO, neurotypicals... PLEASE.
Don't get me wrong... sports are wonderful for a variety of reasons, but team sports are just not right for everyone, yet they seem to be the "go to solution" for educators who don't understand the atypical socialization needs of gifted kids. It just bothers me that the NT educators try and throw the non-NT kids onto the same pile as everyone else and assume everything will be just ducky.

And tell me - what does their required "extroversion" have to do with success in math?? NOTHING. So I simply continued to advocate and they eventually put her in the program.

For my son, meanwhile... I just ignored the team sports thing. Grrr.

My advice to you would be to cite research relating to behavioral differences in gifted kids to further prove that your son does in fact belong in enrichment, and don't let it go! You know what's right, so fight for it.

Well, she apparently was not showing the leadership or enthusiasm necessary to really be able to fully participate and benefit the modern gifted program.

Simply being intelligent or having skill in a subject area is no longer sufficient now that we have entered a more competitive time of international economic achievement.

The schools are looking for the greatest minds, the strongest leaders...those who can truly be equipped to lead the world of tomorrow.

You know. People who can become CEO of a major multinational corporations like Coca-Cola.

Our major multinationals are having very severe problems these days. Did you know that not everyone drinks Coke products at every meal That some people still drink just plain water?

If we get the right people into the gifted programs, we can potentially solve, once and for all, these thorny problems.

I see your point, but what about asynchronous behavioral development and gifted sensitivities? She was nine at the time. We champion our kids' rights to be accepted in spite of their quirks, and yet a nine year old is not allowed to be socially awkward?

Not all gifted kids are extroverts and strong leaders. In fact, there's a statistical correlation between LOG and introversion - the higher the former, the greater the percentage of the latter. Why should my daughter's math talents have gone undeveloped because she's an introvert and not comfortable telling other people what to do?

They can make gifted "leadership" programs for the gifted leaders. This program was for MATH.

I could be wrong, but I think JonLaw was speaking tongue-in-cheek.

Quirky people are scary. Introverted people are confusing.

Also, non-extroverted gifted people who can't tell other people what to do simply aren't cut out for the modern global financial hypereconomy.

I'm pretty sure they're obsolete.

It's not clear what should be done with obsolete people, but it would be silly to put an obsolete student into a gifted program.

I'm fairly certain that Coke, as a corporate person, does want everyone to solely drink Coke products.

If you were Coke, and you were dependent on continuous market expansion and increased profitability in order to self-actualize , you would want the same thing.

Not helping Coke, or actively hurting Coke, seems like corporate personhood abuse, to tell you the truth.