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Joined: Mar 2013
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Not trivialize this but has anyone encountered Henri the Existential Cat? enjoy
Become what you are
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This thread suddenly reminded me of a decision I made as a relatively young child maybe 10 or so. I decided to not pursue theoretical science or mathematics in favor of experimental sciences and mathematics. My logic at the time was a fear of spending my entire life in pursuit of a solution that either did not exist, or was too difficult to solve for my mind. To this day I still find that if my mind wanders too far into the unknown, I rush back to information that has a high probability of being true, so as to give myself a stronger foundation to stand on. Of course, sometimes I find myself doubting even the fundamental laws of physics, but do not allow myself to stay there for desire to not consider the possibility of the alternative, and to not waste too much of my limited time on this Earth doing what I decided not to do when I was around 10.
It is probably not healthy to make such an uninformed decision at such a young age, but I am not going to spend much time pondering that question. Funny backstory: I invited my then boyfriend, now husband to attend a philosophy class in college. He fell asleep, I felt embarrassed because there were only 5 people there. Not to mention, I couldn't imagine how anyone could pass up such conversation! His response was that he had made this decision as well and was happier for it. I also made that choice at one point. But realized that it's me, I can't change it and so I do allow myself to go to these places from time to time. But I keep it in check because I am a parent and happiness is more important than ever before.
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This thread suddenly reminded me of a decision I made as a relatively young child maybe 10 or so. I decided to not pursue theoretical science or mathematics in favor of experimental sciences and mathematics. My logic at the time was a fear of spending my entire life in pursuit of a solution that either did not exist, or was too difficult to solve for my mind. To this day I still find that if my mind wanders too far into the unknown, I rush back to information that has a high probability of being true, so as to give myself a stronger foundation to stand on. Of course, sometimes I find myself doubting even the fundamental laws of physics, but do not allow myself to stay there for desire to not consider the possibility of the alternative, and to not waste too much of my limited time on this Earth doing what I decided not to do when I was around 10.
It is probably not healthy to make such an uninformed decision at such a young age, but I am not going to spend much time pondering that question. Funny backstory: I invited my then boyfriend, now husband to attend a philosophy class in college. He fell asleep, I felt embarrassed because there were only 5 people there. Not to mention, I couldn't imagine how anyone could pass up such conversation! His response was that he had made this decision as well and was happier for it. I also made that choice at one point. But realized that it's me, I can't change it and so I do allow myself to go to these places from time to time. But I keep it in check because I am a parent and happiness is more important than ever before. Trust me my mind goes to the far side, but yes, I do still fear getting stuck out there, so I keep coming back to reality, just to check in to make sure it is still there. I made that decision way back then out of a fear of going down some rabbit hole that had no end. Of course, the fear within reality(Observable reality) is ... 'Is this all there is?', but I regress.
Last edited by it_is_2day; 02/06/15 11:34 PM.
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Well, today he was really hammering us with more questions. Eventually he decided that evolution doesn't make sense because why would there still be animals on earth that we evolved from (we gave him a simplistic overview of evolution because literally we have no time to really get into it because he has the flu and we are like, busy taking care of the kids.LOL) and then when we told him that some people (like many members of his extended family) believe that God created the earth, he said that doesn't make sense because how exactly could that happen. Then he told me God is an imaginary man that supposedly makes everything that they talk about at church. Basically I ended up saying, "Look, babe, no one knows about the origins of life, we just don't." He's not happy about this. He turns four in a few weeks. I feel like I am living with a teenager.
Last edited by GGG; 02/07/15 10:09 PM.
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We have had a couple of large life rights based developments affect us recently. Our country's Supreme Court just this week struck down legislation that criminalized assisting a suicide. A close personal friend is also undergoing IVF and lost the vast majority of her embryos.
I debated shielding DS3 from these developments, but he asked about them when DH and I were discussing them at dinner. He was horrified at the idea that a doctor could potentially legally take a patient's life, and we had to delve into a discussion of informed consent and guardianship, in which he was reassured to learn that parental consent is required in the treatment of minors. He asked me to promise that I would bring a baseball bat to the doctor's office to protect him in case the doctor didn't listen. I unexpectedly found myself expressing my view on assisted suicide and pre-born rights, a conversation I didn't expect to have with him until at least a few years down the line.
What is to give light must endure burning.
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We had a series of conversations about pre-born rights, as well, with a then-4-year-old, precipitated by a miscarriage we had. That's the same child who needed a thorough exposition of our estate plan at about 5 or 6 years-old (inspired by, "but I don't know the alarm code!" which I think I've recounted on another thread).
...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
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I'm sorry for your loss, aeh.
It can be hard to predict when these questions will arise, certainly. I've been revisiting my source material as a refresher. I guess my best approach is constant vigilance and being prepared!
What is to give light must endure burning.
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Joined: Apr 2014
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Thank you, aquinas. Death is a part of life; we feel no need to shield our children, no matter how young, from it, especially when it happens in our lives, and have tried to use it as an opportunity for reflection and discussion about our values, beliefs, and what is most precious to us, in front of and with our children.
And there is definite value in saying to a child, "that's a very good question. I think I need to think about it some more, and possibly explore some resources, seek wise counsel, research, so that we can be thoughtful and informed about this topic."
...pronounced like the long vowel and first letter of the alphabet...
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That's good advice. Thank you!
What is to give light must endure burning.
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I've literally re-read this thread and Portia's helpful comments in my physics/black hole thread daily over the last week. DS3 is in a major existential funk and is expressing considerable anxiety about separation from me, namely the unlikely event of my death. He has been testing more extreme (albeit safe) behaviour to determine whether my love is as unconditional as I say it is. I think I've passed this trial by fire so far. Tonight he waxed on about the logic behind selfish behaviour. He is testing his idea of God, the duality of human existence, the concept of infinity, and the division of self from others. I did NOT expect this level of existential angst in a 3 year old.
There was also the matter of his openly saying, " Mama, you can NEVER die or go away," with my dad present. My dad, unhelpfully, felt the need to weigh in with, "[DS], everyone dies at some point." argh!
ETA rant: I've been looking into children's Catholic theological resources, and most elementary curricula are of the cut and paste/fill in the blank/circle the picture of children behaving prosocially ilk. I'm having a hard time determining the appropriate scope of discussion. I can discuss these issues on a fairly scholarly level; however, call me crazy, but I don't think that 3 is the appropriate time to introduce weighty material like Aquinas' First Mover proofs.
Asynchrony, I shake my fist in your general direction!!! I just want my sweetheart boy to be at peace and not fear abandonment or prematurely grieve my future death which, God willing, will happen when DS is an elderly man himself!
I apologize for the recent repetitive theme of my posts to those who have been supportive.
Last edited by aquinas; 03/23/15 08:57 PM.
What is to give light must endure burning.
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