Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Don't You Forget About Me

Howdy, you are obviously a very thoughtful parent and I think you have your answer already. So for what it's worth, I vote for some contact as well. Letters are good because he can write them anytime he is missing her and then the act of sending it is so essential to feeling heard and connected.

I met a best friend in 2nd grade and to this day we are still in contact, on Facebook. She's still one of the funniest people I know and we "get" eachother to this day, even with our completely different lives. I haven't seen her in person since a chance meeting in high school, but I always sorta carried that relationship with me. First best friends are very special.

I think it would have been fine to just move on.

I think you should continue the contact and let him choose how much he wants to stay in touch, so long as it doesn't become significantly burdensome to you. If the relationship just naturally comes to an end because they grow apart, then at least he knows that you supported him. And maybe they will be lifelong friends (so much technology these days to facilitate staying in contact)

My son had a best friend in preschool, but when we moved schools we didn't make a big effort to sustain that bond. Now I wish that I had tried harder to have them spend time together (although, they have just moved out of state), because DS has been struggling to find that kind of friendship since. I feel that having an "anchor" friend is often important to help our kids build the confidence to create other friendships.

I told my husband about this and he was not happy. He felt that this family has too many issues and prolonging the relationship wouldn't be a good thing.

Well, I went with my gut and asked DS if he wanted to write to her. He did...and he did.

The "letter" will go out this week.

I've been doing some "soul-searching" and realize that I feel that a child needs to have closure of their OWN making. I have a strong feeling about this because of a relationship I had as a child that ended rather abruptly.

Thanks to everyone who said not to ignore the feelings my son has for this girl. In the end, for someone (of any age) to have time to explore a relationship is very important. To have that taken away is cruel, imo.