Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How can this be so hard?! Rant ahead...

After marshalling the evidence and following the wonderful advice I received from this forum, I met with DD6's school team two weeks ago to discuss acceleration/differentiation. They had already said no to acceleration, without having seen the testing results (about which they seemed curiously indifferent), so this meeting was really about how to manage this year in her current grade and putting acceleration next year on the table.

We had what appeared to be a moderately useful conversation, albeit punctuated with the standard 'we had lots of gifted children in that grade last year and are super great at programming for them' (Me: how many?; Them: one, but others were working at that child's level; Me: deep sigh). All sorts of promises were made about enrichment, extension, differentiation, challenge and so on. Sufficient for me to actually relax for a few nanoseconds and fantasize about life without endless school meetings.

It was a short-lived fantasy as, mere days into the school year, I'm already whacking my head against the math wall. DD6 has done EPGY and Singapore Math for her grade already, entirely on her own and at breakneck speed. She tested 1 to 2 years ahead on the WIAT, in spite of having had virtually no math instruction since preschool. So probably some extension would be appropriate, right? Like they promised? Well sure, they say, after she shows "mastery" of the concepts. How, one might ask, should she show mastery (for a fourth time)? Could she, perhaps, do the unit test at the start of each unit? Cue the bafflegab about assessment models and multiple ways of showing understanding.

Why must this be so hard?? Surely it can't be enjoyable for a teacher to be teaching a child concepts she has repeatedly demonstrated she already knows? Is there something wildly controversial about taking the unit test at the start of the unit? I would have thought they'd jump at the opportunity to show me the superiority of their teaching methods if she bombs any of the tests. I am just so heartily sick of having the same conversations, hearing the same platitudes and watching the same differentiation promises disappear in a sea of eduspeak. My poor child is beyond excited about another school year, utterly confident that the adults will behave rationally and teach to her ability. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep my game face on for her.

We didn't ever win this battle with the schools, so I have no advice (we cut and ran). Just wanted to give a virtual hug and a bunch of sympathy.

I wish I had sage advice, but I don't. IME, schools that are willing to help do so without being asked or after a single conversation. The rest resist what is presumably seen as coloring outside the lines.

FWIW, I've got that same meeting coming up on Wednesday. I had asked that my 6th grader be allowed to do algebra and they put her in pre-algebra. She's already done 3 chapters of a rigorous algebra course with me and she doesn't need pre-algebra. [sigh]

I have some thoughts regarding why this problem happens. First, I suspect that many teachers and/or administrators feel uncomfortable around gifted kids. The problem may worsen if the child doesn't fit the teacher-pleasing high-achiever mold that's often associated with the word gifted.

My daughter needs to be challenged. Without it, she falls into a trap where she shuts down the moment something gets hard. Yet her last school (at a new one this year) seemed completely unable to even consider the idea that she needed something different than what's on the school's list of standard approaches. This in spite of the fact that the school was tiny (11 kids in her class, and the math teacher had <30 kids total in grades 5-8). The school also promised that every student works at his own pace, but in practice, that meant, "at the pace of group A or group B."

I've also observed that this problem is extremely common in math class. Most math K-8 teachers don't have a solid understanding of mathematics, which presumably contributes to feeling uncomfortable. Dunno.

For what little it's worth, when I first glanced at your post, I read:
"After marshmallowing the evidence..." I suppose then the conclusion is you got s'mores of the same.

Can you skewer them on naming fixed target dates for making a decision? If they say two months, then if it all proves out, they've just stolen two months of learning.

I've stopped believing that meeting the needs of our kids is anything other than an inconvenient nuisance for the school system as a whole. It's how the whole issue appears to be viewed by various people other than those teachers who understand our kids are being shortchanged.

Thanks, all. ZS, the s'mores gave me a much-needed laugh. Val, I hope you have more success with your meeting than I've had with mine.

What's especially exasperating is that math is the one area a key administrator usually gets, yet she's behind the pushback. I'm debating how to approach this. Send emails, call another meeting, drop in on someone (who at this point?!)unannounced or just wait for the inevitable and imminent day when DD comes home to announce with horror that she's been given the too-easy workbook she did last year. And asks me if I was kidding about having had a meeting.

"Inconvenient Nuisance" is probably written on the front of our file!

In our experience, administrators and teachers are wary of parents who believe their child is gifted. I can understand that they may get inundated with "stage moms and dads" who believe their child is better than all others without any supporting evidence, so this may put the teachers and administrators on the defensive. I can also understand that with the myriad of tests, online tutorials, and workbooks, that they can't possibly feel informed about the reliability of these methods.

As such, I think they will believe ONLY what they directly experience when it comes to the kids. A test is only reliable if they select it and administer it. A child's supposed reading level is suspect until the child reads individually to the teacher. All of these things take time when they are already swimming in other children of varying abilities and discipline levels.

Our school district doesn't even have gifted programs until 3rd grade, so our DS6 doesn't have any immediate options. They know what he can do, and basically told us "good luck." So, we are home schooling. He's doing 5-6th grade math and reading at a middle school level, so the grade skip option they offer wouldn't really benefit him at all.

This is basically the long version of what Ivy posted. Sympathy.

1. Educational philosophy
2. Cognitive level of decision-makers
3. Fear of difference/change
4. Cynicism about parents/politically-motivated decisions

I don't mean #2 in a pejorative way, but in a literal sense: it's too far out of their personal experience to really understand the negative outcomes of inappropriate programming.

I've even had push-back while advocating for services for gifted students as a member of the district gifted program admissions team. (As in, no, we cannot admit the PTA president's 114 IQ kid, and, please, let's give another look to this kid who scored 145 on the CogAT, but doesn't get along with her teacher.)

I am right there with you! This year, we homeschool all academics and my son attends public school for specials. Every now and then, he has to sit through a bit of his 3rd grade class academics (if there is a scheduling mix up for the day, or if I can't pick him up at the normal time). Anyway, the policy last year was, when this happened, the teacher just let him sit there and read his book. He has never been disruptive, he is really discreet, it all worked out very well. This year - we have just completed one week - the teacher will NOT let him read his book, she has apparently forced him to do the 3rd grade work and will not budge on this. She is aware of his various academic levels outside of school. So far, DS has been polite and told the teacher that he is not there for the academics. But she is insistent. It's really nuts. She has nothing better to do than to police what my DS does for 20 mins in her class while waiting for a ride? Lesson for me - don't be late picking up DS.

I will add to aeh's list - 5. control, control, control. Most elementary teachers I have met seem to have a great need to control as many aspects of their students lives as they can. But that is also the culture of schooling.

on #5: Yup. It's one of the reasons they have such a hard time when schools try to departmentalize (have switch classes/subtle ability tracking). And it's not really that they need to control their students' lives, it's that they need to control everything about their own lives--which, just incidentally, includes the students in their classrooms. A traditional self-contained elementary classroom is its own little fiefdom.