Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy what's the least public education should do?

I believe that a major problem to gifted children is political correctness. Being smart and gifted is synonomous in many eyes. People who are smart and gifted are taught not to flaunt it or draw attention to it because little Johnny will feel bad if he can't keep up (conform or you're a show-off). Schools are by law required to support kids with disabilities because they are the "victims" and we as a government have to help them. Those smart and gifted kids have it easy and should just be thankful that they're smart and gifted. Why should they be given something extra when they already have life so easy? I DON'T agree with this line of BS but we all have to live with it and our kids are suffering because of it.

delbows mentioned that I should take note because my husband's the chair of our local school committee. HA - The teachers' union has a total stranglehold on the town, the superintendant job is a revolving door (3 within the last 2 years), the school board viciously fights within itself (my husband is changing that though- baby steps), the local paper only prints half-truths that only hurt the schools, the high school is losing their accredidation this year, and the town pays virtually no taxes for our 100 year old schools (a whole 7% - it was 0% before we got the new middle school a few years ago - the only school under 50 years old)

Two weeks ago we gave up on the school system. The oldest is 6 and has the most wonderful teacher but she can't teach our son to his potential! We decided to homeschool. The kid is a sponge. He'll pick up information as quickly as you throw it at him. At 3 he literally ran through an aquarium. He drove my grandmother nuts. When my husband asked how the exhibits were my grandmother piped up, "How would he know, he ran through the whole damn thing." Then my son started explaining each and every display from beginning to end. My grandmother's jaw was on the floor. At school they make him crawl so "No Child is Left Behind".

Anybody who wants to plan a peaceful revolt against this ridiculous and utterly failed innitiative can count me in; until then I guess I have to homeschool because the public school systems are hopeless in their current state.

Many of these problems related to teaching every child to their highest potential would be minimized without a need for additional funding if we reverted back to �ability grouping� and grade advancing. Of course that (ability grouping) is politically incorrect as you pointed out.

I didn�t mean to imply that it was your responsibility to change to world. I apologize for coming on that strong. Here the school board, administrators, parents� groups and teachers� union are too unified. Total lack of checks and balances!

Considering that your oldest is 6, have you considered the possibility of relocation?

I was just venting, I'm a little on edge lately, trying to defend the decision to homeschool to my parents and in-laws, friends, school personnel, his teacher, etc...

I didn't think you meant for me to change the world -- Sorry. The frustration was meant to be directed towards the failed school struction, definitely not you.

We could relocate but are things any better in other areas that aren't ultra-rich? We've looked around at quite of few schools, both public and private and haven't found any that are that much better academically. If anyone is familiar with a good school in the mid to western Massachusetts, South- mid to Western New Hampshire area I would be extremely grateful if you'd share them.

Hi, thanks trinity, galaxy girl and delbows, your words are encouraging.
I have heard of a girl that grade skipped a few years ago but really it's quite unheard of where I live, (North-East of England)even when I was at school.
My daughter has always been way ahead of her peers and it can get frustrating for her. I've been wanting to ask for this for years but finally plucked up the courage (why do I feel so scared?...)
My daughter taught herself to read at 2yrs, at 3yrs she loved atlasas, encyclopedias, she retaines all this information and is a fountain of knowledge. Her maths is fantastic too. She's now 8yrs(nearly 9).
With a grade skip she will then have only 1 full school year and a bit until comprehensive school (11-18yrs). The sooner she gets there the better. She knows what she wants to do with her life, she feels that she has outgrown her current school and will be able to 'breathe' when she gets to comprehensive.
She's not especially mature for her age and I worry that could be the schools argument against us, but she's more than capable academically.

So tomorrow I have a meeting with her headmistress, do I get on my knees and beg?!

Keeping your thoughts of encouragement in my head.

Will tell you how it all goes......

I've had bad luck with this. I tried to keep us all on the same team, to point out how what I wanted was in keeping with the district's mission statement...Keep reasuring that you will take responsibility for her "social life" -

and be prepared that a single grade may not be enough to make a difference. Sometimes gifted kids get caught in the "more homework, but not more mind work" problem, so they have less time to pursue what really satisfies them.

Is this a government paid or out of pocket school?

Do you have any alternatives?

Can she test into the comprehensive schools?

Best Wishes,
Trin

LDParents, I've been in this place, and it's not fun. :-(

Though it's hard to do, I've had to stop caring what "everyone else" says and thinks because no amount of explaining/defending is going to help them understand. I've had to make peace with the fact that others--be they family, friends, neighbors, school personnel--simply are not going to "get it," so I can't look to them for validation and support.

And that's okay. Why? Because they aren't raising my children--I am. They haven't done hundreds of hours of reading/research on raising gifted children--I have. They don't know what's involved. I do.

What I'm saying is I've learned to trust my own intuition when it comes to my own children, and so far time has shown that I'm usually right (LOL, not about all things, mind you, just about the "big decisions" regarding my kids' education).

Take DS8's preschool experience at age 4. He liked the first day, increasingly hated it after that ("Mommy, all they talk about is shapes and I already know all my shapes."). Said he liked the teacher and other kids, but cried/protested more fervently each time, not wanting to go. Everyone I asked--friends, neighbors, teachers--said "make him go, because if you let him drop out now, he won't want to go to K next year." (So many people said that!) Or: "he's manipulating you" and "he won't develop good social skills without preschool." Well, I decided to follow my heart. Yes, my son is a preschool dropout. (Gasp!)

Forgive me here for the nostalgia, but I will always remember his last morning of preschool--him crying, begging me not to leave him there, and me with everyone's advice whirling in my head. Then my heart said: he's 4 and he wants to be home; how can that be bad? So I took him back home. And I will always remember this one moment, after we left the preschool building... as I buckled him into his car seat, he put his hand on my arm, gave me this incredibly intense, tender look, and said, "Thank you so much, Mommy. Thank you for not making me go to preschool. Thank you for listening to what I wanted. You are the best mommy in the whole world."

I realized in that moment that it was infinitely more valuable for him to know that his mother listened to him and respected his need/desire for security (staying home) than anything he would have learned in that year of preschool. He loved staying home that year--and next year, when K started, he was so sick of his little sister that he couldn't wait to leave home and go to school! (So much for those naysayers who said he wouldn't want to go). I look back on that experience and was so glad I followed my heart and intuition, no matter what everyone else said.

Same with the decision to find a way to get DD6 early entry to K at age 4 (got around the age cutoff by finding a private religious school that accepted her for K). It took over a year of my time, effort, research, persuading, hoping, praying just to find a place that would take her... and then a year's worth of money spent on tuition that we could barely afford. It was tough. But it was what she needed, and I'll always be proud that I had the tenacity to make it happen.

Same thing again with the big decision this year (when DD6 started 1st grade at public school and they would not accommodate her needs) to pull her out after three weeks and transfer to a different school in the district. It's a hassle. It means I have to deal with the complications of having three kids at three different schools. It means I have to drive DD6 to school every day, morning and afternoon. I have to contend with the teachers and others at the first school, where DS8 still attends, who snub me and give me nasty looks and talk behind my back because I dared to transfer my child out of there, LOL. But the bottom line for me is, my child is happy. Therefore it was absolutely the right decision, and I don't care what anyone else says or thinks about it. I know it was right.

Sorry for being so long-winded. My point is, if you are doing what you know is right for your son by homeschooling, I believe you will look back a year from now, 5 years from now, and be so proud of yourself that it won't matter what anyone else thought. And don't defend your decision. All you have to say is "This is my son, he was not happy at that school, and I am doing what I believe is best for him." Period.

Kudos to you.

GG

Lisa, if you think it will help, do it! :-) It would be worth it if it gets your daughter a chance to work at her potential.

Take along the article on Cutting Down the Poppies to give the headmistress; that's a great one (see the articles section on this site).

And you know, about maturity, the problem with that argument is that there is rarely an ideal fit for highly gifted kids. There are parts of them that just won't fit in anywhere. If your daughter stays where she is now, it's a poor fit academically--which is damaging to her. Possibly it's a poor fit socially, too, if intellectually she can't relate to her age peers. If she's grade-skipped, yes, there may be times when she acts her age and is less mature than her grade peers. But how is that any worse than the poor fit she has right now?

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Best of luck!

GG

Thanks for the advice, meeting is in 6 hours!
The 'cutting down the poppies' thing is shocking, I had no idea about it until a couple of weeks ago.
The schools are run by the local government. The only other alternative is private schools and our income wouldn't cover it. I've also got 2 younger daughters to think about.
I don't think that 1 grade skip is enough for her academically, but I think it would be like feeding her to the lions if she went straight into comprehensive school in September. Just missing out 1 year of the 2 years she has left at her current school would be much more of a smooth transition.
What I should have said earlier too, is that the comprehensive school has a 'gifted programme' already in place with a dedicated teacher. I don't know enough about it yet as I only found out a few days ago but wow, it can only be a positive thing.
Anyway, must go and make some notes or something, prepare myself for meeting.
Lots of deep breaths needed!!

Still feeling scared, do I sound over the top if I say this meeting decides the rest of my daughters life? Thats how I see it anyway.
Wish I had the courage like galaxy girl!!!

Great post GG!
I can relate to being snubbed and talked about regarding educational choices. My son and I are very similar in the fact that we don't care much about the opinions of people that we don't admire ourselves. In some ways, the reaction of others regarding your own personal issues and choices, helps to define their own character.

Good Luck Lisa,
I would be nice if you can figure out how to meet the teacher from the gifted program, perhaps to ask if there are any parent groups in the area, or if she can introduce you to other parents in the area with children like yours.

This gives you a chance to try to see if she can meet your child, and perhaps she can work with your Headmistress on the possible skip?

Seems to me that most people are very approachable, and like to share what they know. A "I'd like to learn more about giftedness" is usually enought to get the conversation started. Let's face it - teachers in gifted programs probably get as isolated as we parents do. Who will believe them about little Tommy or little Susy?

Best Wishes,
Trinity