Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Meet the Teacher

So, it's time to start school around here and we just left Meet the Teacher. We got the ONE teacher with a bad reputation. I haven't heard horror stories but I understand her to be quite inflexible.

DS7 is HG with dysgraphia and we will be working to get a 504 for him ASAP. I tried to start this conversation last year but no one seemed interested. The AP said we'd meet the first week of school, which seemed like a lofty goal. I've emailed her now about that and no response. I emailed her last Wednesday.

Here's my question-do I try to get him into another class or wait and see how it goes? Frankly, last year was terrible and I just want him start off well. I'm also concerned about fighting the 504 battle while asking for a new teacher. Do I need to pick my battles here? Both are feeling pretty big at the moment.

Ugh! This is hard, I know. FWIW, if you don't have a specific indication that this teacher is a problem for YOUR child, I would wait and see on the teacher issue and fight hard on the 504. Teacher reputations are so very subjective. Sometimes tough teachers are really great with g kids because they have high standards and reward performance. Sometimes an "inflexible" (by reputation) teacher actually just doesn't tolerate bad behavior. My kids as a general rule flourished with buttoned-up teachers with high expectations and structure. We had a nightmare with superficially "warm" teachers who were disorganized, stressed out, and so on.

No parent ever tells another parent, "You know, my kid is spoiled, hard to handle, and unmotivated, and I as a parent feel entitled to the royal treatment. Teacher X really didn't appreciate the kid's precious spoiled behavior or my helicopter interventions to save him from natural consequences. Oh, and during our five-week trip to Tahiti during the school year, the teacher insisted dc actually do some homework!" Instead, the parent will say, "Oh, Teacher X is terrible. We had a horrible year. Teacher X is inflexible."

Of course, inflexible could really mean inflexible too, unwilling to differentiate, unwilling to admit that the gifted exist (yes, they're ALL equally special!!). My point is just that, absent good information, the best assumption is that all the teachers are average on all traits, good and bad.

So unless you have true inside info about the other possibilities (like, your child had that teacher last year and s/he's moved up with the grade), you're flying blind. You could waste a lot of capital with the school and end up no better off or even worse off.

The 504, by contrast, is (relatively) objective. The teacher, whoever he/she is, MUST follow it by law, and there are personnel in the school who will make it happen if you are prepared to monitor the situation. So if he is entitled to extra time, use of a computer, whatever, they HAVE to do that.

The irony is that, in the end, a wonderful teacher is far more valuable. A wonderful teacher, and my kids had some, will value that child and stretch her to what she can do. But given a non-wonderful teacher, the 504 is more valuable. Personally, I plan on the downside! :-)

Hope this helps a bit! If only to know you're not alone. :-)

Thank you, GF2. This helps a lot. I needed some perspective. I was working so hard on having a good attitude and when I got to the school and saw the teacher, I just wanted to cry. We will see how it goes.

We may be joining you in that sentiment. DD9 finds out in two days if she got "the vampire" for the second year in a row.

Oh Dude...that sounds awful! Hoping it's not "the vampire."

The teacher ds7 had last year was awful for him but a lot of parents thought he was great. I know one woman who had her eldest in his class for 2 years and he now has her next son. I on the other hand am trying to work out how to say any teacher but ... On the end of year teacher request form.

We know ds9's teachers will be the two who teach his special program. As long as neither of them moved we already know...which is home room teacher and which is the other teacher he will have for half the day isn't known yet....makes waiting easy.

nikiharp, would you be willing to share any details about why this teacher is rumored to be undesirable? If you have good reason for concern, and if you feel that her teaching style (or other issues) are a bad fit for your ds with re to his challenges in particular, then I'd ask for a different teacher (from that perspective). But make the request a request geared toward a conflict between the teacher's teaching style and your ds' needs - you can still complement the teacher while making it clear that your ds needs something different - you don't have to come across as picky and entitled and all that when requesting a teacher change. Keep the focus on your ds' needs, it's not about the teacher.

No matter what, you need to request the 504. Are you sure it's a 504 your ds needs or does he need an IEP? Either way, you know he needs one or the other. You need to turn in a written request *now* so that the school is on notice to start the process. When you have a conversation, no one at the school has any binding responsibility to follow through, but a written request from a parent has to be "answered" within a certain time frame. You can make the request in a very friendly, polite manner, but still be clear - you're requesting a team meeting to put together a 504 plan for your ds who has a dysgraphia diagnosis and who needs accommodations in the classroom to be able to fully access his education.

If you want to request a teacher change, you could put that in this same letter and state that you have concerns re this teacher's (flexibility, emphasis on handwriting, whatever) - I *think*. Truthfully it would be a good idea if you can find one to ask a local parent advocate for some advice in putting your letter together. For all the great advice you can get online, local advice is also really important. Our advocates actually were familiar with some of the teachers and definitely school principals etc in our district (they become familiar with them as they help different parents who are struggling to advocate).

Last thing - I am guessing that you've actually talked with this teacher (at "Meet the Teacher") - if you do ask for a different teacher, you can cite concerns you have after talking to her at this initial "meet" meeting. That might carry a tiny bit more wait than just making a request based on input from other parents etc.

Good luck - let us know how everything goes -

polarbear

If you trust the information you have on the teacher, I think that's the more important thing to worry about. Because if she has a bad reputation she probably really is bad. But I wouldn't go with what just one parent says (unless you really value that person's input)...you need to hear the same type of sentiments from more than one.
My experience is that parents try REALLY hard to like teachers and often don't see obvious negatives glaring right in their face. So I tend to trust negative input more than positive input. It could be the others aren't much better (or have other problems)...hard to say until you are acutally in the situation. Last year at around this time I was really disappointed when I found out who DD's teacher was (because ONE person gave me very negative input), but it was DS's teacher (who I had never heard anything negative about), who was the real nightmare. Let's just say she's incredibly good at faking people out. She plasters a huge fake smile on her face and then proceeds to completely ignore requests/concerns in a passive aggressive manner.

it always cracks me up when people are always negative when people don't have any real facts. I agree with GF2's first two paragraphs.. I would agree with black at trusting the negative if this was 1974. when I was growing up parents were not involved enough. These days it's just the opposite.