Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy DS MUST go on field trip

I would not assume malicious intent until you have evidence of it. Give them a call-- we will all be most curious.

We also attended a school in which the field trips were considered required and parents were not allowed to attend (especially the overnights, which freaked me out in a big way since they started those in 4th grade). If the child did not attend the field trip, then they received a zero for that day. DS was so far ahead, who cared?

I always managed to schedule a doctor appointment those days.

I figure that very few things in life are MUST dos. How DS handles different situations can be dicey without me there. So I figure it's my call - not the school's (who treats everyone the same).

Whoah I am really shocked that this can happen. Are these private schools? Quite honestly, my parents, who were seriously not great parents and who were of the era of 'benign neglect' were never comfortable with us doing anything over-night. As we got older they relented, of course, if we really wanted to campfire girls camp weekend, etc. But let me tell you NO ONE would have MADE them send their kids away overnight at any age. They were seriously uncomfortable with that. Actually our very first, first grade field trip my brother and I were called out sick for because my parents were not comfortable with us going. My mom was so pissed when I had admitted to the nun (who did grill me on it) that we weren't really sick that day but rather my parents weren't comfortable sending us on the field trip. Anyway, I am really, really shocked schools would insist on stuff like this. People should challenge this stuff legally. When a kid is under the age of 18 I would highly doubt that any court would allow a school to veritably force parents to send their children off of school grounds or away overnight. Quite frankly, after a terrible bout with bed bugs brought home from a retreat place (and literally thousands of dollars spent in damage and extermination costs) I am not keen on sending my boys to any camps anywhere for that reason for quite awhile even though they would love it. Of course I have the additional problem with life-threatening allergies with one of them - another reason I'd be really unhappy with such a policy. I just do not think it is right that a school could compel kids to go places off school grounds or overnight and punish them if they do not. My kids love to do them (and the older loves to go places overnight) but I find such a compulsion to really be an assault on parental rights.

I pick and choose field trips. They cost money and some are a waste of time. Some are necessary for credit so I send my kids to those, but others are of questionable value-- really 17.00 to go see a play at the high school? A basketball game at the local college for 25.00?

Overnight trips in public school are incompatible with my introverted boy and have never and will never be happening, saving 250.00!

And parent chaperones have to pay that sum too. Who has 500.00 to spend on a field trip? (I can't believe the parents line up for this opportunity, but they do).

Many kids opt out. We get emails that beg parents to send their kids and set a goal of 100% participation. But parents need to make the decision.

If you are sending your child to a school that is voluntary, it's a different story.

While I agree with most everyone said above about the school I do have one question. Why is it a 7 year olds decision if he doesn't wants to go on a field trip?

I would just ask. Politely. "I'm sorry, but we had something else planned for that day." (I assume this is fine bc of the homeschooling arrangement.) "I'm sorry if this is creating an issue for you, though! Is there a logistical reason why it's important for him to attend?"

The staff is being flat-out creepy. I'd make sure they know that.

Why should I pay for something that my son doesn't want to do? Also, why shouldn't he have input? He understands out current arrangement and situation. He is partially homeschooled. He knows that I am available for a full day of homeschool - and he will do just that. He is telling me that he would rather spend the day at home doing homeschool work than on this trip. I don't see the problem.

If no one was home to offer him this option, then he would have to go on the trip.

Because it's about power! You must exert your power regardless of how meaningless! You must take choice and control away from your kid in any way possible! How else will he learn to blindly obey no matter what!?!? (in case it's not obvious, completely joking and being sarcastic here)

Personally, kids need a sense of control and of choice - I give it when I can (obviously within reason) I try not to take away control in a purposeless way because, really, the kid in such a situation will just tune out anyway. That is just my personal parenting philosophy and that's why my 7 year old (now 8) usually got a choice on field trips... it works really well for us. It seems especially important for my gifted kiddo.

Bingo-- and I might be a little more cheeky about this than Ultramarina, but still get the same point across--

Wow-- must be some Kool-Aid that they plan to serve on the trip if it's compulsory. I'm just wondering what happens if my child misses the indoctrination portion of the program-- can you explain?