Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Are gifted kids really that special?

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful replies. I understand a cognitive gift is a gift that requires differentiation. But I would love to see research that supports the overexcitability theory. I do have a 99.9 child who is going into what seems to be an amazing program and he is so even keeled that I'm wondering has anybody truly researched the concept of overexcitabilities or is it just a theory that's gone mainstream? All 3 of our children are gifted but it seems the "least" gifted has the most "overexcitabilities" so I've never attributed them to his giftedness - just an amazing kid learning to manage/process his emotions (like half the kids in his classroom).

Anyway if anybody has links to actual research studies (versus anecdotal evidence) I would love to read them. Not trying to make an argument - just want to know if there is validity to the current one.

Personally, I subscribe to the theory (socially) which suggests that to whom much is given... much is also expected. That's the breaks.

So I hold my daughter to a HIGHER standard as a result of her higher order thinking. She is better able to understand when her behavior is selfish, hurtful, or thoughtless toward others. I consider it my duty as her parent to correct any behavior that crosses that line.


It's a burden to have a mind-mouth pair that can cut others to the quick in a moment of frustration. In order to be a decent human being, one really MUST learn extraordinary levels of control over that particular set of superpowers. IME, anyway-- it is sometimes a real struggle not to say the first thing that pops into my head when I'm irritated, and I have a serious gift for telling people things that haunt them for years and make them question their self-worth. DD has it, too, because she's a complete empath and generally knows what makes other people tick-- though she has less of a tendency to turn it on others than I did at her age. I had to find a spouse who can truly forgive and forget... because I still have that impulse only imperfectly reined in when I get seriously angry.

It's an awful thing to do to someone less verbally/intellectually able than yourself, quite frankly. And usually, my frustration is related to others not being able to see what I see, or go where I can go mentally, or at least not as fast as I can. I'm very good at apologizing, but it's just not enough. You can't un-say the words.

I don't consider high intellectual ability to be an EXCUSE so much as a possible reason. There can BE no excuse for cruelty like that. I don't care whether it is a "natural" part of being at a high LOG or not. The hurt that you can cause others is just as real to them, too-- and they're special to someone as well.

I can use my son as an example. In 6th grade he had really BAD behavior. And while giftedness didn't excuse his behavior it did help us understand the cause behind the behavior. Simply "punishing" him for behaving badly made things worse. Once we had a better understanding of his behavior we were able to treat the real issues and what coping strategies would help in the long run.

I think this post thoroughly explains how I felt. Good one!

Solution: Bring back tracking. Top to bottom, with 10, or at most 15 IQ points range (or whatever measure of ability is relevant to the class topic).

90th percentile students (IQ 120) should not have to share a classroom with 50th percentile students (IQ 100). They are just too different.

It is indefensible to believe that gifted students have a right to a separate class from the rest, without also believing that 90th percentile students (IQ 120) students have a right to a separate class from 50th percentile students (IQ 100).

There. I've said it.

They can beg all they want, education is a service, as is medical attention. Goods and services provided individuals aren't a right, they're an individual good / service. At least in the U.S. there is a Constitution and Bill of Rights, education isn't listed in either from my readings of them, if you find otherwise, please correct my error.

If you want to change the conversation to what is reasonable to expect of education as return on taxes intended to support public education, I'm happy to discuss that as a separate matter, however, education is most certainly not a right.

Other than Somalia, the United States is the only UN member country in the world that hasn't ratified the UN Convention on the rights of the child, which provides for education as a fundamental right. I think that preponderance of assent suggests the US position is incorrect.

It would be interesting, perhaps in another thread though, to look at gifted education in other countries, especially those that are becoming leaders in education. As far as I know, East Asian countries have "elite" schools or programs but entrance is all achievement based.

The whole problem with the mentality of goods and services being a "right" is that they use resources that aren't those of the one who is receiving the good / service.

No, I think the U.S. has it correct and the majority of the rest of the world has it wrong. Rights are not things that can be purchased, they're not things that cost money to acquire, rights are freedoms to pursue, not something that is a service that is owed another. I shudder to think of a future where people feel others owe them goods and services, this is why so many are struggling, the failure to face reality.

I haven't looked it up recently, but I seem to recall that on the whole, studies show that gifted people have about the same rates of depression, suicide, etc as the general population? Which would mean that no, gifted kids aren't that special in terms of socioemotional needs, on the whole. That's not to say that one's own gifted kid doesn't have special emotional needs, of course.