Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy SEX Education this week! Age 10

Please someone help... my DS10 is in public school, 6th grade. Tomorrow and thursday they are covering SEX ED in health class. The teacher emailed me the class handouts a few hours ago. He and the asst. principal have offered me the choice of letting him be assigned to alternate class or library during this time, if I choose.

There is a handout of male organ and includes arousal and wet dreams. There is also an a handout with illustrations and labels of the (internal) female reproductive system "after sexual intercourse". There is another detailed handout about the menstrual cycle.

Some of his classmates are 12, so they probably have some of this info already, or even some of the personal experiences. My son is 10. I thought this curriculum would come later.

I am widowed so I am taking on both parenting roles.

Have your gifted children had this level of detail in sex ed, at a young age? Any advice ASAP would be greatly appreciated. thank you.

My oldest son is a year advanced in school and has a summer birthday, so some of his classmates are two years older. We considered withdrawing him from sex education in middle school but concluded that doing so would be more likely to encourage interest in what he was missing than letting him attend. Attending has not seemed to do him any harm.

I don't understand the problem. What's the problem with letting him know what's going to happen to his body as he gets older?

We discussed body changes and the facts of life with our boys when they were about 7. One of them was fascinated, the other was not interested. I think the more this is demystified, the better. It has not harmed my boys, nor did it change their relationship with girls, if that's what you're worried about.

FWIW when I was a kid we covered all of that in grade 5.

After years of trying to be subtle when answering DS's million questions we gave up and went over most of it starting he was 6 (DD was 4). We really liked the book "It's So Amazing" and used that as bedtime reading to start the conversations. It does cover some topics that some might find controversial so I would pre-read if you go that route. A potential plus side of starting young is that you might get to them before they get all awkward about discussing it with a parent. Hopefully we can keep the lines of communication open as they get older.

Don't misunderstand, I don't want to withhold information about his body's changes.. But age 10 seems a little young to start learning in this sort of detail. He's my only child so there's no older sibling to compare to.

I suppose by not attending class, the topic would be more mystifying and he would feel less comfortable with it. I don't want him uncomfortable.

Maybe the solution is for me to talk to him a little about it at home, tonight, so when it's covered in class, he will have more familiarity about it.

Good point about the talks not being awkward now! I'll go to the library today.

I've been trying to remember when I got sex ed, as a reference for when to provide it to my DD9, and 5th grade sounds about right. Here at home we've already covered the subject of puberty, (DW had her first menses at 9yo, so we needed to get in front of that) but we haven't addressed reproduction and all that goes with it. Coming soon, though.

Our school system doesn't offer sex ed until 7th grade, at which point the most at-risk students will already be 14yos with their brains soaked in hormones, and the curriculum they offer is abstinence-only, so this will definitely be a home project.

My two younger ones (grades 5 and 6) will be learning about
puberty this week in school. My fifth grader is nine. I think it's a good idea.

Thanks for replies!

My son is 10, turns 11 in June, 5th grade. They will be having the talk this week - I asked him if he wanted to attend or not - he told me it was up to me. I can't see the harm - I know they talk about it on the playground - so I'd prefer he gets the facts. His principal and school nurse do the talk at their school. I also have a book that I told him I'd give him to read beforehand - must remember to find it !