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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 145
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 145 |
I have found myself seeing DS5 differently after learning his test results showing giftedness. I used to think he was bright when he was young, but what parent doesn't feel that way? Then, after being behind in class, I really felt there would be a LD. None was found (at this time), but a confirmation of giftedness was given.
I shouldn't feel surprised and it shouldn't change how I view/treat DS. However, I must admit I'm thinking more about it and how I act with DS. I have even more involved conversations. Books from library used to be an assortment of award winners and random ones off the shelf, but are now fairly advanced. I've started expecting DS to understand more with regards to school work and I'm working mostly independently afterschool with him. We've shifted from busywork to concepts and only review when necessary and I've refused busywork for him now. I perceive him differently, less child-like and more intellectual and adult-like.
Also, my DD2, whom I feel is more advanced than DS was at her age in some ways, I have started to really encourage intellectually instead of just playing toddler stuff with.
I wonder if my hyperawareness regarding intellectual pursuits will be temporary. I hope I'm doing better to provide a more stimulating environment for my DC. Is this a common way to react after finding an official diagnosis of G?
Life is the hardest teacher. It gives the test first and then teaches the lesson.
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
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My husband and I don't really parent differently. We tend to be on the intellectual side so there are a lot of those pursuits in our home. We also travel frequently and explore new things, we have always felt like these things are important. I wonder if that might be why we never thought of our daughter as gifted until she started school? I do advocate more actively for her formal education now as when she started I took a more hands off approach. I tend to believe environment has a lot to do with IQ though (I know that not everyone does) so perhaps the environment is one of the reasons DD tests well (who knows) ??
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Joined: Mar 2013
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I certainly advocate more aggressively as a parent but I think that fundamentally I parent the same way as before.
Become what you are
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 848
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In general, no. However, I think we are more open to higher-level materials and experiences (offering and/or taking him to them), that said he was dragging us along that path since he could speak, we are just more involved in seeking out gifted weekend activities, etc.
We are more skeptical of what we hear about/from schools (part of this is due to a terrible school experience that led to the testing).
We still struggle with the gap between this smart, logical little person and his seeming lack of ability to follow our directions at times. "How can you not get that our telling you x five times will lead to consequences."
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,478
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No different, we respond to DS as he is. All testing told us is how uncommon his skills are from norm, sets my filter differently for other kids his age.
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Joined: Feb 2014
Posts: 71
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Yes and no.
Yes in the sense that after I was told our son was gifted I must have read nearly a dozen books on gifted ed last summer, which really helped put a lot of things into perspective. Such as... his persistence is innate and he really, truly needs specificity. No weasel words such as "maybe later". I find less issues with him if I spell it out and try to think like he would to cover all of my bases. Kind of like closing up loopholes.
To be honest, reading the books helped me "get" my hubby a lot better too. So I would say that I'm a bit more tolerant/understanding of some of the quirks that can come with high IQ people (the OEs, especially).
No in the sense that we have always looked at toys/activities/games/books with an open mind. The ages listed on them are suggestions that relate to most kids.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,856
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We mostly parent the same way, but having DD tested and learning about the nature of giftedness has had an influence, as any new knowledge should.
On the upside, DW learned to stop worrying and love the emotional intensity that comes with it, in both DD and myself. We were also better informed on the potential dangers of perfectionism, which allowed us to be more aggressive in combating that.
On the downside... I can confess falling victim to the mentality where every time DD shows an interest in something new that it could be A BIG THING for her, based on her natural abilities. It makes wonderful bait for the push-parenting trap.
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 199
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For parenting, it does not change how we handle the situations at home - but it does mean I tend to now ignore the ages of materials/books and look more at the content to decide whether to get them (I used to stay closer to recommended ages) although we still watch for choking hazards due to our 1-year old getting into DS's stuff all the time. It is also setting the stage for us to be able to use the testing results to push for what DS needs outside of the home(and for us, planning for long term schooling).
Although I am still struggling with what is "normal" for his age group and what is not since he is normal to us - so in that respect, I still find that difficult to figure out.
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 199
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Also - sad as it is to me, I also found the testing results tends to make me silent about DS more when talking outside of the family about DS due to concerns of looking like we are "bragging" or "hot-housing" - so I find it a little isolating as parents dealing with local parents here.
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Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 145
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Yes, the biggest change has been toy-based (after book changes). I mostly am now looking at better quality toys that are content appropriate vs age appropriate. We also have fairly intellectual conversations and pursuits as a family as well, so I guess that hasn't changed much. I allow much less TV also at home, and turn on more documentaries or something with a little knowledge in them.
Life is the hardest teacher. It gives the test first and then teaches the lesson.
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