Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Try to fix public schools from inside?

Yes, it does. But a quick look at any state reveals that this is not just the opinion of those posting here-- it's a legal/legislative reality most places. Parents who have a wide social justice streak themselves will try to do something about it-- but after they have seen the inside of a local school for a few years (about 2nd to 4th grade) they realize that they cannot change things in enough time for it to matter to their own kids.

Some fight ONLY for their own kids' needs at that point, and others separate the two strands in their approach, and cease using their own children's educations as the reason for advocacy, whilst still fighting to get their own kids' neesd met using any means possible and pragmatic.

The latter approach can be rather freeing, I must say. It allows you to widen your scope as an advocate, and also to make compromises and make decisions as a parent that you wouldn't want to do as an advocate. To get what your own kids need often seems to require some tactics that I find distasteful as an advocate-- it often feels like throwing others under the bus when you make backroom "special" arrangements that you agree to keep to yourself (or everyone will know and ask for the same)...

But yes-- speaks volumes. Absolutely.

There are people who support better education for the gifted and who shudder at the term "social justice". From the Wikipedia page of Friedrich von Hayek:

Or that we can't change anything at all in a meaningful, long-term way.

When I first found this forum, my kids were very young and I was full of enthusiasm for trying to improve some of the problems in the school system. Back then, I was sad to see older members saying precisely what HK just wrote.

Nearly seven years later, I've realized that they were right. There's nothing we can do as individuals or even as small groups because the schools aren't interested. I've tried multiple ways of approaching this challenge, and nothing really works. I've tried volunteering, committee time, advocacy about individual kids (from gentle and obliging to aggressively assertive), and grant review. I've tried suggesting (twice) to the people who run a struggling private school that there's a niche waiting to be filled in serving gifties, and they didn't even respond to my emails. Years ago, a school said that my son could do fifth-grade math when he'd finished his second-grade work, but then his teacher got him to tutor other kids instead. I've interviewed principals who've told me, "I've never allowed a grade skip in 20 years here, and I never will." Etc. and depressing etc.

The only real solution is to find a school that gets it. Unfortunately, they're rare. Even in Silicon Valley, the high-performing schools are organized around high achievers. A school I used to think of as being like Davidson Academy in Silicon Valley shut down. We're still getting over that three years later.

Back in the 80s, parents of disabled kids had a lot of success by banding together and complaining very loudly. I remember attending a meeting for the local "gifted program" and realizing that they were giving all the money for gifted kids to special ed. The parents at that meeting were, literally, yelling "What are you going to do for my kid?!? He can't read!!!" at the school board. Those board members were sweating bullets, and those parents forced them to make changes. They certainly didn't do it because it was the right thing to do. This won't happen with gifted kids until the same thing happens or unless there's another Sputnik-level event that forces the hand of the government.

This is what you get when you put mediocre types in charge of something so important.

A lot of this discussion depends fundamentally on where you live.

IF you live in a state that recognizes giftedness and provides funding, then you're got some leverage or ability to shift public policy.

IF you live in a state that does not recognize giftedness and provides zero funding, then the steps to get any accommodation through the state level is fraught and often comes to naught. That's the harsh reality. So what do you do? It's awfully difficult to change public policy with a wall.

Even in a state, such as MA, that doesn't recognize giftedness or provide funding in terms of giftedness, there are some towns or schools that do on a limited basis. What often happens is that the parents end up moving to those school districts so they can get something rather than nothing and affect the local schools that make those modest accommodations.

"They sentenced us to 20 years of boredom, trying to change the system from within ....First we take Paris, the we take Berlin". It is hard to change systems from within because to do well enough to progress within you have to fit with the system." People who haven't developed the "right? Mindset don"t get into positions to make meaningful change.

You can get operation changes by agitating from the bottom up but the progress you have made will disappear with a change of management.

Unfortunately I was jaded from banging my head against walls before I had kids. I know I should fight (my social justice radar is pinging) but I just do not have the energy.

Piggybacking on what Val writes above-- I think (and I say this as an advocate on two issues, only one of which is GT ed)-- I think that the problem is that WHILE our kids are in the system, there is a limit to how much human capital we are willing/able to burn on aggressive advocacy.

There has to be. It's pragmatic. If you push TOO hard, you will lose the day-to-day goodwill that softens the edges of the letter of obligations/agreements. In other words, you risk alienating a classroom teacher or school principal to the point that they will ONLY do what they are obliged to do on paper.

On the other hand, if you no longer have a child in the system you're trying to change, it means one of two things:

1. You've spent a decade or so battling to get your child's needs met... day... after... grinding... day, or

2. You've given up and removed your child from that system in favor of another schooling arrangement, often with significant financial or temporal consequences-- or both-- and probably with significant cynicism or bitterness attached.

Neither outcome is very conducive to effective, ongoing, or assertive advocacy for change.

It's a rare individual parent who is willing and able to continue to be a forceful advocate under either condition.

I'm glad I'm in a state that gets it on paper and in a school district that follows the spirit of the state's expressed intent. But even if the state, the district, and the principal get it, we still have to dice with teachers each year.

It does seem that people rarely show up here when everything's roses.

We've not even tried the public schools yet (three different private ones, with one relocation between K and 1st). I called our local school, heard they didn't really do anything until 3rd grade and didn't bother visiting. We need to go visit now that DS is going to be in third grade next year, but honestly, I don't know that with a PG kid, it's going to be worth the effort to even do that until we get closer to middle school.

We are in a state that has legislation and some funding. Raising these children and working takes all the energy we have... although I entertain fantasies about advocacy (beyond our own situation) someday.

I agree with your thought pattern HowlerKarma and also have walked that dangerous line of alienating teachers and administration where my sons go to / have gone to school attempting to advocate and make change. Unfortunately, we're open enrolled and I can't even run for the school board. When finally after decades they put together a parent advisory board for the GT program, they excluded any parent who knew their arse from a hot rock on the subject matter to be on the committee. They weren't stupid, they wanted sheep and that's what they got.

I think separating long term advocacy and doing what's best for my own children is the direction I've learned to take as well. I have the feeling I'll actually be able to do MORE when my kids are through the system than I am now.

Very true. On the other hand, while your kid's in the system, you have every reason to strive for change.

We have seen locally that pushing for a change because of one child's needs can also bring about administrative changes that will help a lot of children. Our family usually rides that line HK describes, and it is not a piece of cake, but I persist in thinking it's still possible. Ask me in a couple of years whether it worked.