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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 423
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 423 |
I'm thinking that you may have stepped in if your sons had approached you saying, "Hey, there's a big beach party for teens being thrown by some group called NAMBLA, I think I'm going to check it out." You're right, I would have, however, if one has a son / daughter in college "stepping in" is rarely workable....which is why the discussions I described are necessary, to help them make wise decisions on their own.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 263
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 263 |
I work at a large state flagship. If either of my kids goes to college here and joins a frat/sorority, it will be over my dead body, or at least without my financial support. I can't think of a plus side to the Greek system.
My main reason for posting is that there may be alternatives to consider. Our campus also has an honors dorm and a women-in-STEM dorm, both of which seem to have a number of desirable qualities. I don't whether a "social membership" at these dorms is possible for students living off campus, but something like this might be worth looking into as an alternative to the Greeks.
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,272 Likes: 12
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,272 Likes: 12 |
... if one has a son / daughter in college "stepping in" is rarely workable....which is why the discussions I described are necessary, to help them make wise decisions on their own. Agreed!
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007 |
I work at a large state flagship. If either of my kids goes to college here and joins a frat/sorority, it will be over my dead body, or at least without my financial support. I can't think of a plus side to the Greek system. The plus side is that it's better than complete social isolation and gives some semblance of structure and belonging to a group.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007 |
I'm thinking that you may have stepped in if your sons had approached you saying, "Hey, there's a big beach party for teens being thrown by some group called NAMBLA, I think I'm going to check it out." You're right, I would have, however, if one has a son / daughter in college "stepping in" is rarely workable....which is why the discussions I described are necessary, to help them make wise decisions on their own. This presumes a certain level of emotional maturity and coping skills in the first place.
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 423
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Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 423 |
This presumes a certain level of emotional maturity and coping skills in the first place. Well, yes, this is part of what responsible parenting is, helping your child to develop such qualities.
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,228
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,228 |
You should have posted this 8 days ago.
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,856
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 2,856 |
You're right, I would have, however, if one has a son / daughter in college "stepping in" is rarely workable....which is why the discussions I described are necessary, to help them make wise decisions on their own. The child in question here is still 15 and would be living at home, so "stepping in" remains a viable option. Parental rights/responsibilities end at 18, not graduation.
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 351
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 351 |
Just another view of fraternities/sororities. I attended an Ivy. At the time there were a few co-ed fraternities. Most of these were big time geek magnets (I was - and am - a proud geek. These particular fraternities were way geekier than me.)
But I agree with your assessment of sororities HK. All of the sororities (save for the religious ones) were about all the things you stated in your original post - at least from my point of view. I loathed them as an undergraduate.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 2,007 |
You're right, I would have, however, if one has a son / daughter in college "stepping in" is rarely workable....which is why the discussions I described are necessary, to help them make wise decisions on their own. The child in question here is still 15 and would be living at home, so "stepping in" remains a viable option. Parental rights/responsibilities end at 18, not graduation. I suspect that the number will eventually be moved over 18. At this point, you have a number of additional issues, such as colleges taking parental income income into account, insurance, inability to rent a car prior to age 21, etc. It's a fuzzy time, which is why stripping all of in loco parenetis out was a bad idea in the first place.
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