Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How should I approach the MS music dept?

Who gives the scholarships? The county orchestras? Go and ask them.

Honestly, I'd give it up. It sounds like the scholarships have already been decided for this summer. If you want to pursue it, the next thing I'd do is go in and talk to the orchestra teacher in person. You've done everything that makes sense via email, and you've had no responses from anyone. Taking it to a higher level in email may only annoy the teacher, and this is just your ds' first year at middle school.

I'm also not so sure I'd jump to the conclusion that they are ignoring your ds or skipping over him or not doing their job - they may have experiences under their belt that you're not aware of. Maybe there are scholarship requirements that they knew your ds wouldn't meet, maybe they actually applied for a scholarship and he didn't get one. Maybe the teacher nominated a different student who he knows is economically disadvantaged and would benefit from the program. Or the teacher could be a complete jerk about the whole thing... but you really won't know until you talk to him in person.

FWIW, our school district staff responds to emails when it's "safe" to respond, but if an answer that a parent is looking for in any way might be controversial or suggest that the school should act on something etc... the teachers always pull the parents aside to answer (at school) or call at home. They are very cautious about what they will put in writing in an email.

Is this summer program something your ds can participate in without having a scholarship? If it's fun and engaging and he wants to do it, I hope he has a chance to.

Best wishes,

polarbear

Thanks momtofour! Sorry I didn't make it very clear before... the county orchestras are formed by music educator associations, representing schools across the county/counties in this area. They're big concerts and the schools are always proud to say that x number of students were nominated and performed. The chairperson that I emailed works for my school district only and is the head of the MS and HS music departments. You would think that this person would be up to speed on scholarships, right?

I guess what I'll do is go visit the main office, and just wait until the principal has a moment to talk to me.

This is what separates quality districts from the rest I suppose. I am sure the deadlines have all passed for summer 2014 awards. I am upset that they didn't provide us with the forms, and I had to find out about these scholarships and their recent winners in the concert program booklet.

What do I tell the principal I want? I want a productive conversation, not just to complain and express my disappointment.

Ah, now I get it. My ds did two MEA festivals this year (he's a bass player, so Jazz and regular orchestra)and they were a really wonderful experience! I agree that the teachers may have other information, may know criteria better, etc, but I still think that there are two things that you need to address:
1) "I'm having trouble getting a response from XX. I emailed several times. It's been over a week." (in our district, 24 hour email response is the expectation, and the principal takes that seriously).
2) "I feel like there is a lack of information, and a lack of transparency about the music scholarships." I think you can be very sweet, and say, "I realize that I don't have all the information, but I know I'm not the only parent who would like to better understand this process." You can even add, "Ds has had such a great experience with orchestra; he was disappointed he didn't have the chance to learn more about this." If you're really kind, "I don't know if this was handed out in class and DS forgot to give me the information on this; you know how forgetful preteen boys can be."

We had a teacher who basically just blew parents off all the time. The deal was, no one complained, and the principal had no clue. I think it's appropriate to follow up on this, because it's appropriate that you would get a response.

I agree that talking it can't hurt to talk with music director. I would go into in telling them your are confused about how the details of admission to this program works, and that you would hope they would clarify them for you. Sounds like decisions have already been made for this summer, but it doesn't hurt to have a good idea of how it works for next year.

One thing I noticed in your last message, you are using the term nominated. To me that means a music director or teacher choices a few top players out of their orchestra/band to go to an audition for entrance into the orchestra. There is then an audition, where the musician has to show ability and final decisions are made buy those directors. One has a greater chance of participating in these if one pays a more unusual instrument.

Good Luck.

Thanks momtofour. I like your (1) and (2). Yes all the other teachers reply within 24 hours, some within 2 hours!


But after reading what another person posted, I am a little worried that my going to principal, even if I'm nice and calm, will affect how my son is treated by orchestra teacher afterwards. I didn't think about that before. Does this ever happen?

Although I'm sure it happens, I honestly (naively?) don't think it happens too often. I have a few friends who teach in the district and I really think they're able to separate the parents from the students. Plus, most orchestra teachers really enjoy working with talented and hardworking musicians. My older ds is more hardworking than talented when it comes to music, and definitely not going to make a living at it, but they seem to love seeing him progress and are so encouraging. I can't imagine that they'd suddenly take it out on him if I complained. And again, I think your complaint is pretty mild compared to what they get from some parents (sadly). If you are worried, you can always put a reminder in your calendar for next September and start sending the emails then - "I want to make sure ds doesn't miss any opportunities this year, so I'm wondering if you have any information on..." or you can bring it up at curriculum night or open house, when you are sure to see them.

Great idea about the calendar reminder for myself!

From my experience, there are many teachers who have high anxiety over any possible confrontation or even simply meeting a parent and many of them avoid contact if the exchange might in any manner be negative. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case here, however, please understand it's pretty normal among teachers. They're simply not trained in college in how to professionally handle parent interaction.

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