Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Disenchanted with our Montessori pre-school...

So I don't know if this is a question or a rant (maybe both?) but I am quite disenchanted with our DS3's (almost four) current school. He has been there since 2.5. Last year we really liked it - the teacher was seemingly willing to just follow him, give him fairly appropriate work, etc. He liked said teacher and the kids and the individualized play, so we were happy. The administrative/communicative end was never great, but we figured it wasn't a big deal since DS seemed like he was thriving.

This year however, it has not been so great. As I said, there has never been great communication between the parents and the school - pretty much no communication, really: no reports sent home ever, one parent-teacher conference at the end of the year, no assessments, no letters, nothing. So, essentially, with the exception of some of the completed work they send home with DS, I have NO idea what my son is DOING all day, how he is acting, how he is adjusting socially, etc etc. So on top of that, when I pick DS up, every once and awhile I'll say, 'how's he doing/how's it going?" and teacher usually says something like '"eh" to which I will pry for more info until she proceeds to tell me how DS has been 'unwilling to do something for the last few days' or something like that. And I am left wondering why I haven't been told about it before.

Also, I had thought the 'curriculum' stuff was going ok....DS was able to focus on what he wanted, and, like I said before, teacher seemed to follow - this isn't the strictest montessori so I didn't think there was a lot of the 'finish everything before starting the next thing' going on. BUT this morning, when I dropped DS off at school, I found out that DS has been working on the same Phonics level 1 workbook for a year. And has still not finished it (in fact, teacher was like, 'please finish it today!" kind of half to me, as if she was implying I should ask him to, because she couldn't get him to.) The thing is, I don't understand why he is even doing a level 1 phonics workbook - he has been able to read since 2.5 and his decoding is something like 3th - 4th grade. He can pretty much read whatever. So why is he doing beginning phonics? I'm sure he doesn't want to do it because it's incredibly boring - I wouldn't want to do it either. If it was a comprehension book, THAT would be different, because he is definitely a considerable way below his decoding level in comprehension. But phonics??

So I'm sitting here, wondering why we are paying a ton of money for my son to learn hat, sat, bat or whatever, when he is clearly beyond it, and also so clearly unwilling to play along with their repetition/finish this book so we can move on to the next one mentality. Why would they WANT him to finish it? What's the point?

We are already pretty sure he will not be returning to this school next year, and have found some good potential options to replace it, but we don't want to pull him out now, when there are only a few more months left. That being said, if he is staying till the end of the year, we have the next few months to deal with, and I'm not just sure how to go about it. Am I being overly sensitive, or is this really is ridiculous? All I know is, between the lack of communication and the below-level work for SUCH an expensive school, I am really not a happy camper.

Thoughts on how to approach? Opinions on whether this is normal montessori practice? Am I being crazy, or is my dissatisfaction warranted?

Thanks, and sorry for the lengthy post.

bump.

I don't think you are being oversensitive but at this point I wouldn't worry too much either. At 2.5 he doesn't need preschool just care while you work. I would just look at a place where there were plenty of opportunities for outside play and no one minded if he sometimes preferred to read. If the teachers don't make a big deal of it the other kids probably won't even notice he can actually read rather than look at the pictures.

Puffin, DS will be 4 at the end of the month - he started reading around 2.5. And it would be one thing is the teacher didn't know he could read - but she does. In fact, she was one of the first people that told me he could read pretty much whatever you put in front of him...so I can't for the life of me understand why she would be making him do this phonics workbook. (apparently it is a series of workbooks, 1-6, which, when all are completed, are supposed to put a kid at a 1st-2nd grade reading level). Even at 4, I don't think that it's a big deal if he doesn't want to do the workbook...I just don't know why THAT is the workbook they are giving him, you know what I mean?

I am also really curious to know about others' experiences with montessori and the communication between teacher and parent. How much, if any?

How is his spelling? Perhaps the teacher is helping him with phonetic principles not for decoding, but for writing. Either way, having a 4 year old complete a "workbook" does not sound developmentally appropriate, and definitely isn't part of Montessori practice. If he needs help with writing/spelling, then sandpaper blends would be more appropriate. And telling a student which work to do is not in line with the theory of "follow the child." Gently guiding - yes. Telling a child to finish a work TODAY - no.

Some preschools do send home a small checklist-type note each day. It may be a 4-up form (one quarter of a regular 8-1/2"x11" sheet of paper, so that 4 print per page). Some create a monthly newsletter with a "theme" of the month, news of any field trips, new equipment, volunteer schedule, birthdays, material donation requests, etc. A progress report, evaluation form, or chart of activities may come home on a regular basis or when filled.

Preschools may state these practices in their sales or promotional materials, on their websites, etc.

If each child's daily form and activity tracking form are kept on a clipboard in their cubby, for example, it does not take much time for the teachers to check off (or apply stickers to) pertinent categories on each child's forms.

You may wish to brainstorm at home as to the things you'd appreciate knowing about your child's day on a daily basis... and draft a small half-sheet or 4-up checklist type of form at home.

What might you like to be aware of on a weekly or monthly basis, possibly in a newsletter format?

How frequently would you like to be made aware of what curriculum activities your child is working on... can you envision what a checklist or grid form for that would look like? How many days would it have space for...? a week? a month? two months? How many curriculum activities might be listed, to be checked off for each day that he works on them?

In a way, your child's school may have this sentiment in common with you. They may be surprised to learn that communications have been inadequate. It is possible that for some parents no news is good news.

Some may say that a gentle approach for advocacy in this situation may be to apologize that it appeared the teachers may have felt unsuccessful because your son was disinterested in the phonics 1 level workbook... you don't want them to feel bad... that you'd be glad to know of any difficulties they may be experiencing with your child, your child is so very fond of the teacher(s), happy in his/her/their care, etc... that some find little checklist forms like this handy for a quick daily communication... what are their thoughts? Point being to communicate support, empathy, partnership, problem-solving, satisfaction/happiness with other aspects of their care, offer an idea and solicit their feedback/input... not communicate anger, disappointment, defensiveness, demanding/demeaning, or other negative emotion. Because you are the expert on your child and your situation and these thoughts are but a quick response after reading a post, you may wish to give some thought as to whether this approach may be well-received, and if so, who may be the best point of initial contact...? A teacher? Administrator? After establishing good will and a rapport, you may wish to offer your observation as to why your child may not have shown interest in completing phonics 1, and inquire as to what level may match his demonstrated ability.

Just my 2 cents. YMMV.

his spelling is incredibly good. and he has always been super strong in handwriting. this is why I am so at a loss (I was going to talk to teacher today when I picked DS up from school, but she had just left - so it will have to wait until Monday.)

Turns out he did complete the workbook today (DS told me he finished the last 3 pages and will start the new one on Monday), but I'm just not convinced that this is what he SHOULD be doing. Hopefully after speaking with the teacher, we will get some insight/be able to work something out.

In terms of communication...how often would I like to be contacted? I don't really know, honestly. Ever? Lol. But in all seriousness, once a month would be sufficient. Just SOMETHING so I have any inkling what my child/how my child is doing.

I definitely don't want to go in there with anger...I'm not really angry even. I'm just kind of bewildered...and disappointed.

Just for comparison's sake...

I'm not sure why a Montessori school would use worksheets. My daughter's school was completely against them, and there was an entire contingent of parents clamoring for worksheets! worksheets! so their children would be ready for public school.

Being allowed to read at a young age was something we really appreciated about Montessori. My child is in public now (because of the expense), and I do feel guilty--like we gave up the best thing she had going for her.

In our daughter's school teachers were very communicative. You just needed to leave a phone message to set up an appointment. I felt like we always knew what was happening at school and would frequently get reports that listed where she was in all the different curriculum areas.

Children weren't always able to do exactly what they wanted. If the teacher thought a child was avoiding an area, the child would be required to go there. Toy work was limited to certain times of the day once they turned four.

Some may say this is what you experienced?

You may wish to suggest this.

Socially? Academically?

It is important to manage expectations. This is part of choosing a school: learning in advance what their policies and practices are, asking questions on points which are important to the student/parent(s)/family. Some may say that a parent being disappointed because one imagined/hoped for something that apparently was not offered or agreed upon, may be quite unfair to the teacher/school. It would be a different situation if the teacher/school had advertised or agreed upon something and then had not delivered. In general teachers/schools uniformly do what serves most of their pupils, and arrangements need to be made and expectations managed for something out of the norm. With your child being almost 4, there are many more years of school remaining... you may wish to read up on advocacy so you are best able to assist your child throughout the next decade or so.

I might suggest a formal conference instead of a "hallway meeting." You've got a lot to talk about, and it's not fair to put the teacher on the spot in front of other children or parents. You'll also probably get more time and more thoughtful answers when she doesn't have a foot out the door.