Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school Asking "Why" - What Was Your 3 Year Old Like?

LOL!

I have been dealing with this exact line of questioning from my DD for about a year (maybe more)! Death by viral diseases vs bacterial diseases, parasite, car crash, starvation etc. You name it we have talked about it. I am so glad to know I am not alone. I have had to squash the line of questioning a few times in public to avoid the stares and whispers!

No, my three year old is an emo and a dramatic actress. I don't hear "why?" I hear, "you broke my heart because you didn't trust me to go to the store with dada. I'm very dissapointed." (Well, that's not really why, she's just dramatic). Or I get a nicely executed 3 yr. Old plop to the floor, red faced, tears rolling, fall down and cry pitiously tantrum.

My DS3.5 very rarely asks why as well. It gives me pause because it seems to me that gifted children would as "why?" as a way to quench the thirst for knowledge. So I start questioning his giftedness even though he's a self-taught reader, can skip count by 2, 5, & 10 to at least 200, and does a lot of simple addition/subtraction in his head.

His questions are generally less broad, and seem to be more a means for figuring something out for himself. For example, last summer he became obsessed with digital clocks. For about a week, anytime he saw one he'd ask what time it was. Within a week he could identify any number up too 100. Obviously a clock only goes up to 59, but he understood the base ten naming pattern I guess. So questioning is more about filling in missing links for his broader discoveries. Maybe it's because he's more analytical and a little less social.

A few weeks ago I just decided to ask him, "Why don't you ever ask 'why' questions? Don't you want answers to 'why' questions?" He looked at me, a little puzzled, and after a moment of thought he said, "I tell YOU the answers." Oh boy! Apparently he doesn't ask because he's already come to the conclusion that he knows more than me.

I'm rather unselfconscious, so this conversation isn't one that would give me pause. I've had a number of conversations with DD in public where DW started to get uncomfortable, but I was fine.

The only time I cringed (and that would be putting it mildly) was when DD(5 at the time) and I found ourselves playing with a pair of black girls at the bounce house. That very morning DW had informed me that DD had expressed some unfavorable views about race (DD is very fastidious, and had come to the idea that people with darker skin must not wash themselves properly), so I took the opportunity to talk to her about it on the drive to the bounce house. A good time was had by all, and I was quite pleased with the timing of the thing, as it was an opportunity for positive reinforcement of her earlier lessons.

I was good and worn out by the time the kids' parents decided it was time for them to go, and as we were all putting on shoes and collecting our things, my internal dialog is chanting, "Please don't let DD say anything insensitive, please don't let DD say anything insensitive, please don't.... " The dad approached to shake my hand and thank me for including his daughters in our play, and showing them a good time. No sooner had I responded in kind than DD shouted, "DAD, YOU'RE RIGHT! IT'S JUST SKIN!!"

My old DD (now 8) never really had a "Why?" phase, either. She had many other interests--for example, I remember at that age she was very into cars and when we were driving, she would want me to tell her the make and model of any vehicle that caught her attention, if she couldn't figure it out herself. She loved to hold the GPS map, too, and tell me what streets we were passing, or how fast I was driving at any given second. When she had a question about the world, it was usually something really deep, like, "But how do trees breathe in the winter when their leaves fall off?"

My son, however, would literally ask "Why?" at anything at ALL that caught his attention. Then he'd question the answer with "But WHY?" and question every answer with another "But WHY?" until I wanted to tear my hair out and running screaming into the hills. I'm pretty sure he actually knew the answer to at least half of the questions he ever asked me because if I gave up and asked, "Why do YOU think?" he would usually already know the answer. I dunno if this was mostly just a game or maybe because he's less verbal than his sister and couldn't read yet.

My daughter asked the non-stop trail of 'why' probably from 2 to a little past 2.5. She's a little over three now and her questions are more like 'how do you spell that word?'. She'll ask me word after word, after word, on how you spell it. Or she asks more complex questions than 'why'. I personally wouldn't be concerned because I think every child, especially gifted children, process information and gather input in a different way.

we get how? not why. We had a big convo tonight about where daddy's steak came from and how it came out of the cow.

My almost 3 just start asking a few why this week, but he keep asking who, which and what a lot, even I have answered him, he still keep asking the same thing, I mmguessing may be he want to ask why but don know how to ask? So I now try to lead him to ask why.