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I'm completely new to this forum but have found it a great resource so far. My son's birthday (Oct) falls just after the usual cut off for the school year. He is almost 2.5 yo and shows all the usual signs of being advanced, possibly gifted, his pre-school music teacher wonders if he's a genius but we take that with a pinch of salt.

There's a public montessori pre-k program that accepts kids who turn 3 by September. I'm wondering if we should get him evaluated/tested so we can make a case for getting him into the Pre-K program in spite of his age. It would make a huge difference 1) financially, as it's a public montessori 2) offer him engagement in a mixed age (3-6) classroom.

has anyone had experience with trying to get kids into pre-K early? or with the birthday cut-off issue?

the other question is about music lessons. My son really wants to play an instrument/all instruments! My husband and I don't have any music background so we enrolled him in standard toddler music class which is basically circle time with some rhythm activities and singing. Is it too early to find private instruction for him? should he just be playing and having fun banging on stuff instead of proper training at this age?

thanks much for any insight.

This young, honestly, PLAY is important. Very important.

I would not want to enroll in anything that led to a curtailment in available time for play and age-appropriate development in other (non-cognitive) domains.

Even if you're right and readiness is there, the sooner you introduce formal instruction, the sooner the gap widens to the point that you begin to be pressured to find an alternative when your child outstrips the rate/content faster than peers (even those older).

Personally, the longer you can delay having to deal with that asynchrony gap in a formal learning environment (that is, handwritten expression limited by motor development, literacy limited by emotional readiness for YA content, etc.) the better.

Unless your child is truly YEARNING for a formal setting, I'd hold off and/or seek something play-based.

I agree completely! We're running into that now!

With Montessori, you might be OK with this, but we are struggling right now because my daughter's Pre-K program put her in a year early (we came up with another plan to keep her on par with her age group, but her school couldn't keep up & accelerated her). Now, we need to figure out next year... she graduates her pre-K this year (with pretty much no asynchrony -- she's even the size of the other kids!) with pretty much no option for next year.

Public has a strict no early entry policy (even in charters), so we've had to go the private route, which still involves evaluations and paperwork, etc. So, if you can avoid acceleration until they are at least old enough to be in the "public system" you might be in a better place.

Personally, we have our little girl mostly play oriented with a single instructional class (she takes Ballet) at this age (3.9) and she is thriving. Best of luck on your decision making process!

My child loves music. Loves it. At 2, he really enjoyed the standard toddler music offerings for a few weeks. We tried both music together and kindermusic. About 3-4 weeks into each of them, the repetition got to be too much. They each pretty much drove the love of music out of him. Just too much repetition. After a break of months (is it really possible to deschool a 2 year old), he loves music again. When he is older, we will try one on one lessons with a fun professional adult, maybe something like School of Rock.

Just an aside, one private piano teacher I contacted after he turned 3 told me she would not take a child younger than 4.5 because it was not developmentally possible for kids younger than that to understand counting to five. Like many others here, that was something we passed before 1. I consider it a gift she was so honest with her preconceptions, it saved us a lot of heartbreak.

For us, exposure to instruments was key to restoring his love of music. We never pressured or told him to do anything, just have a little instrument corner. My husband and I can't play anything but by having a little piano around, my son has pretty much taught himself. I have no idea how.

DS started asking at 2 if he could learn the violin. He kept at it and a month before 3 we started. We found a teacher that usually took children from 5 (non Suzuki) and she has been great. He didn't particularly enjoy group music but loved one on one teaching. He's 6 now, still loves it... . He did Montessori 3-6 at 3 1/2 for one year but we elected to send him for only 3 hours, 2 days a week.

We did some piano lessons pretty early, I think my son was an older 3 when we started. I did not want suzuki for him because he was reading and I thought he would enjoy learning to read music. I had to really search for a non-suzuki teacher that would take that age. It all depends on the teacher. This teacher spent only stretches of a few minutes actually at the piano. They had other activities such as a big floor mat with spaces and lines (a staff) and would play twister (put your hand on a line, now your foot on a space, etc). Or jump on a space, now on a line (later jump on the c note, etc) They had music bingo, and a computer game to learn names of notes. They would go from activity to activity with momentum and an air of fun.

If you call music teachers ask if they have experience with the age group and examples of what they do during lessons.

The books we used were from http://www.musicforlittlemozarts.com/ You can even buy the characters.

Agreed. This is pretty close to our experience too. DS just turned 4 on Wednesday. He's graduating from his PreK this spring and we've run into strict age cut off policies in the public systems here. He screened this week for a private kindergarten and will be enrolling for September. My understanding is the school will be filing with the state monthly on his progress for ongoing demonstration of appropriate placement. Before prek, the preschool was required to do the same thing for a few months (2.2-2.7) when they moved him in from the daycare. I'm not sure what the following year will look like. It's likely that to transition him to public, K will be required again. We'll figure that out later I guess. At this point we just have to move forward with what's best for him. So depending on the state regulations and private placement opportunities in your area, it's possible to follow an accelerated track (though I don't know how far). Some days I feel like the whole thing is such a mess; it's been challenging. With DS though there were no other options. DS has made it very clear through his words and behavior each time he's needed to move up. I feel lucky that so far he's been fairly well received.
Good luck with your decisions! Does the Montessori accept students on a rolling basis? I wonder if you decide the programming and environment is right for her there, if they would consider a mid year start after her birthday?

on Music:

DD insisted she start violin at 2.5 (saw my old tiny suzuki violin). The lessons were very inexpensive so I agreed (they are very expensive where we moved so I wouldn't have started her here at that age). She likes it, but doesn't love it. She could play as well as the 4yo's at her recital before she turned 3.. but to what end? She's sort of indifferent about it and doesn't care to practice. She is now just-turned 4 and still playing suzuki. She likes the concerts so doesn't want to quit but doesn't like to practice. She is the type that wants to try everything but doesn't want to continue so we are letting her keep going even though she just wants to play so she can play in the concerts. Just FWIW.
Your DS sounds more musically inclined.

Preschool: I would totally do it if the school allows. It sounds like your DS barely misses the cut off so not that big of a deal anyway. DD does Montessori and has been in 2 different schools. The first was a younger class (still 3-6) but they didn't challenge her. She went to school crying and hated it despite the teacher. We moved to a new school & went in with showing her reading skills, math, ect. She loves it. LOVES it. They have her read to them at her level, does the math of the older kids. She has fine motor issues & they are addressing that too. Not every montessori is the same - even though I loved her first one, it just wasn't a good fit for DD.

Thank you for all the responses! I'm taking everything in. In terms of widening the gap with formal instruction, I think that gap already exists regardless of my choices. However, he's not-fully potty trained and he can't dress himself so he's got lots to learn developmentally, but things like that fall on parents to teach outside of school. I do like the idea of just letting him play as much as possible until he definitively shows us he's bored or not challenged. I have been trying to pre-empt the problem because of how hard it is to get into any school in our area. Every childcare, pre-K and kindergarden has a wait list or lottery system.

Jenna, the montessori doesn't accept on a rolling basis because it's in high demand - spaces given through a lottery system. There's a private montessori I've talked to about letting him start after his birthday but even then I'm on a waitlist and they seemed extremely reluctant. As with your son, I guess it feels like you have to fight the system every year?!

I waffle between "give him opportunities to excel early in the areas he seems passionate about" and "hold off just in case it's a passing 2 year old interest"... I would really hate for lessons and practice to bore him or kill his love of music. Whereas now, it's this big smorgasbord of all music is awesome, all instruments are fun.

SAHM: love the idea of the instrument corner.

My husband and I have decided to chill out a little bit... it can all get pretty overwhelming very quickly.

I would look for a high quality play based program where kids are encouraged to explore and have free choice of many activities going on concurrently with a little bit of circle time/story time thrown in.

Is this montessori program the only acceptable public school in your area?