Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Very Young HS graduates-- traditions? Y/N?

Where I grew up and where I live now (two entirely different parts of the country) graduation is a big deal. Most of the big deal is that it simply a milestone and a shifting of life stages. So, I would definitely do something significant, although I wouldn't go quite all-out.

If it were me I would definitely do a picture of some sort, even if not formal senior portraits. It's always nice to have a picture to look back at and say, this is what I looked like when I graduated from high school.

I would also allow my DD to go to the dance. I don't think too much trouble happens at the actual school-sponsored event; anything crazy, I think, would happen before or after, which can be avoided.

I like the idea of something more permanent to mark the occasion as well, either to commemorate the high school years (like a class ring or charm bracelet) or to look towards her next step of college (computer, a nice suitcase, etc.). As far as rings go, my DS in 10th grade just got his and is really excited about it, but only about 1/3 of his class got class rings. So, this would really be a matter of your DD's personal tastes. I do like the idea of a ring to wear on a chain since you anticipate her hands might grow more and it is kinda cool in a LOR way, but you can always get rings resized in the future as well. I love the charm bracelet idea because your could incorporate all your DD's more unique activities, but I know from experience that can get pricy, too.

Here, apparently individual graduation parties for everybody are the norm (I didn't grow up with that tradition), with an open house format and food and a card box, but my introverted DS15 has expressed for years that he absolutely wants no part in this. What we are doing instead is a family vacation after graduation to a destination of his choosing (within reason, of course), which gives all of us a chance to spend more time together before the next stage of life begins, gives him a chance to see more of the world, and is a celebration unto itself.

When we finished high school, we just finished. There was no ceremony. They sent you a certificate and you stuck it in a drawer. We didn't use grandiose terms like "graduation" for finishing high school. "Graduation" means you have graduated with at least a university undergraduate bachelor degree. When you go to university you start as an undergraduate because you have not ever graduated from anything yet.

Portraits - I don't see why not. There shouldn't be anything too weird about it, because professional photographers regularly see more than just toddlers. Everyone in our school was seeing a particular photographer for senior photos, so it was perfectly normal.

Class ring - I'm with Old Dad here... high school graduation is expected, and if it's the highlight of your life, you're doing life wrong. I knew very few people who ordered one, and I don't know anyone who wears one. I barely know a few people who wear college rings or ones from military service.

After-party - I'd want to know more about the situation, and ensure she's going with at least one person she and you can both trust, but if everything checks out, I'd let her go.

Graduation announcements - If you really don't have anyone to send them to, I'd give those a miss, too. Seems like a waste of money.

I would do portraits -- she can have some more after college, after all. Here, anyway, there are a number of photographers that do senior portraits -- studio shoots, location shoots, whatever. The school has the company that comes in every year, of course, but most seniors do portraits with more personalized backdrops. I had mine done (free) by a photographer friend of the family, with (as he put it) "all of Malibu in the background" because I wasn't willing to part with a single palm tree or pier (being from Colorado).

We still have class rings here, and that's certainly a nice thing to have, but it does tend to get put away after a few years at most. I like the idea of the charm bracelet. You can get those done with all kinds of specialization and personalization, and if she's the sort who would wear a bracelet, it's a great idea. Or a charm necklace, for that matter.

Announcements, well, if you can't think of anyone to send them to, I wouldn't bother. Anyone who needs to know already will, in that case.

I don't think I would do the party, not that young. DS will graduate at 16 at the latest, and I don't see him doing the party, either. I know about graduation parties.

I guess I would try and imagine what you would do if she did go to a b&m and graduate when she was a bit older. Personally I find some of these traditions over the top. When my daughter graduated from b&m H.S. She got a yearbook & had her friends sign it, she had a formal portrait because the school required it for your picture to be included in the yearbook but never bought any of the photos. (We kind of forgot and IMO my husband is a better photographer.) Plus the senior pictures were taken 10 months early? My daughter didn't get a class ring? She wasn't interested and when would she wear it?

She did go to the class graduation party. Her grandparents came to her graduation ceremony & we all went out to a nice dinner. She went to her senior prom, with all the trimmings. (Although her friends didn't do a limo.) We did not do graduation announcements. And my daughter got a very nice graduation gift, of the laptop she would need for college in the fall.

The thing I would miss is no formal yearbook. Perhaps you can arrange & get printed a "high school years" in retrospect keepsake book for her as a gift. A number of online photo places will print keepsake memento books. Perhaps you could even ask some of her teachers, or friends to add comments to add to it.

It's really great to get everyone's perspective and ideas about what works/is important in individual families.

Thank you SO much!!

Yes and IMO it is WAY over the top. At some schools 8th grade promotion is even a huge deal.

My kids attend is fairly typical for a US High School. Formal portraits are taken the summer BEFORE H.S. graduation. Including formal pictures in a cap & gown if you want. Seems a bit presumptuous since although MOST do graduate it's not a done deal. Stuff starts to come in the mail soon after. When my daughter graduated we were mailed a catalog with everything from class rings, t-shirts, sweatshirts, necklaces, and fancy formal graduation invitations & announcements. Imagine the money someone is making on some of this stuff.

About a month before graduation is Senior Prom which is a formal dance, formal ball gowns, tux's, shoes & accessories to match, dinner before, limo's. Some teens & parents go all out. These days Prom is really more a H.S. right of passage than a graduation events.

There is a yearbook that is put together by students. Yearbook is one tradition I like, and I still enjoy my yearbooks. Yearbook is a year long class where students learn page layout, photography, graphic design. There is a huge graduation ceremony put on by the school district, senior "skip" day, a class field trip (often do Disneyland since we live local). And to top it off "Grad Night" party that goes all night after graduation. Note: one upon a time Senior Prom was the graduation "party" but that has evolved and these days that now happens a month or so earlier. Most of these events COST $$. Everyone received 4 free graduation tickets, more cost extra. Our PTA has some money set aside every year to enable a few kids that can't afford it to go to some events.

The "Grad Night" party is something H.S. PTA's started sponsoring 30+ years ago to keep kids a SAFE SOBER place to party with their friends after graduation. Too many kids were going out drinking & driving, and killing themselves on their graduation "night". The party my daughter attended was NOT formal, the kids were bussed to the location and the kids played games until 4AM.

Come to think of it....and perhaps only this group can truly appreciate the sensibility and meaning of it, taking a special friend or two on a vacation with family might be the greatest gift a young graduate can have. So often times GT kids only find one or two people through public school that "get" them and that they become close to, that vacation time with family and one or two of those special friends would be well remembered I'm certain.

That's a great idea.

I know that she and two or three of her friends would probably love to spend the weekend at the beach and take surfing lessons. Adult chaperonage is probably okay with that group of kids-- most of them would find it assumed, in all probability.


DD has announced that a HUGE class ring featuring a bunch of activities, that she can wear on a chain, would be awesome.

"Preciouuuuuuuusssssss..."


So whoever came up with LOTR connection there-- nailed it.

She wears a Medic-Alert bracelet, so mostly doesn't wear other jewelry, and bracelets are hard to size for her because her wrists are so tiny (about 5.5"), so a Pandora or equivalent really wouldn't be her thing.

I think we'll see about getting an independent photographer (my DH knows someone who is a hobbyist) to do a few nice shots of her not as "senior" photos, but just because this is what she looks like as she's graduating from high school. It's time anyway since it's been a few years, and she just got her braces off.

Invitations/announcements, MEH. So over that. Not really caring much.

Maybe a scrapbook that includes signatures/messages from classmates is something she'd like as a keepsake of graduation. I'm guessing yes, in light of the fact that she will lack a yearbook. She can take her camera with her and snap photos to go into it later.

HK do photos, and do them with someone whose work you love, I think ideally its worth families getting proffessional photos done every 3-5 years, 14 and 18 years sounds ideal to me. Please make sure you get at least 1-2 photos of you and your DH with your DD too.