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Note this has been my experance so far, however I am sure there are some that understand. Note even my DW belives there is a strong social aspect of school. She may be correct, there are many parts to learning. I just disagree when they seem to make it the main focus in discussions. I really belive most want what is best for the child. It's hard for them to understand. My brokker has used the just let him be a kid, and look at all the bright kids that have went through school with no acomadations and are doing fine. His advice is not malicious, just uninformed. Like school is the only place they learn. We will do the sports shortly, outside activities, friends, party's etc... Just at school we want him to be with a peer group and be chalanged. We want him to value effort, learn to push himself. But to the outside it looks like we are pushing them and making them into social outcasts. Best of luck with the school, the good thing (Great thing) is that you see it and you are now an advcocate. In time your child will also learn to advocate. Look at all the parents that just drop and run and expect the schools to do it all.

The funny thing is the schools complain about those parents, too. Where is this mythical perfect parent they are imagining? You know, the one who makes sure their child is ready for school and that the child's issues are addressed all without asking anything of the school.

I don't think they can have it both ways. I think that involved parents are always going to be asking more of the school. If they want us to be involved they have to accept that.

nt

I don't think schools are looking for the parents who don't ask anything of the school. My kid's teachers have been perfectly willing to help with things that I've needed help with. In fact my DS10's teacher was instrumental with our figuring out he has visual perception/tracking issues. What I think the school's don't like are parents who don't come in with facts to back up their claims. I know lots of parents who feel their children are exceptional but they don't have "proof". These are the ones the schools deal most often with. The schools have to make some sort of criteria in order to weed out the really gifted kids.


I think this is an example of a great parent here. She volunteered regularly and developed a great relationship with the school. So they took her seriously. I think that once you get the schools taking you seriously, they will be much more accommodating. Dottie and acs have both have wonderful results with this.

Well...

I did all these things, and the teacher told me she felt like I "didn't trust her." She saw the test scores before I did, and I was volunteering in the room--all per school protocol. I didn't just lurk! I was supposed to be there! But being involved in the classroom and asking only that she send home harder books as homework (so no extra work for her!) apparently meant to her that I was looking over her shoulder.

In our case, I'm 100% with Cathy on this one. I wasn't supposed to ask for anything "special," at least not from that particular teacher. Granted, she was no poster child for GT education. But still, Cathy's experience is the same as mine.

Sometimes I think test scores can work against you, actually. The more I thought about it, the more I came to the conclusion that she thinks that DS7's high achievement test scores occured because I was a pushy mom. Why else would she be so defensive before I had even begun to advocate? Either she just hates and fears GT kids (which is possible, since there are people out there like that, for whatever reason) or she decided out-of-hand that I was a problem parent. What could have caused this, when I'd said about 3 sentences to her? (And had had an excellent relationship with his K teacher, BTW, so no teacher's lounge talk working against me.)

All she had were his test scores, so I'm betting they played a part in how she saw me. And she didn't interpret them as a good thing...

Just my humble experience!

Well, I'm sure I shouldn't generalize about what schools want. But our principal said at an awards ceremony, "Mrs. X is the perfect parent! She volunteers wherever we need her and has never asked for anything extra from the school."

I have volunteered out the wazzoo. I am PTA treasurer, school site council chair, math lab coordinator, room parent for two classrooms, and I volunteer in the Kindergarten 3 hrs a week teaching science. My total volunteer hours are about 30 hrs a month. I hate the idea that the reason DS got his grade skip was because I volunteer. School placement decisions should be based on the child's needs not the popularity of his parents.

Oh, and I have yet to win one of those awards...perhaps I asked for too much.

Hi Cathy

I agree, placement should be based upon the student. I used to work in schools a long time ago as a contractor (Low Voltage cable installer). Good teachers , bad teachers, great prinicpals, the whole gambit. But as a trend, trying to work helps, but not always. I have an Elemtary principal in one of my voulunteer groups. She has almost no one for PTA or School site council. I am not trying to defend the schools, there are some very bad ones. But I try not to paint them all with the brush of my experance alone. On test scores our school did not really look at them, a lot of things are what works best for the school. I offered to provide achievment testing, they said it would not help. They have to make there own determinations. I understand this somewhat. Our new school has asked each new parent to give the teacher time to evalute each child before making requests. We have to trust there judgemnt for now. It's all about adjusting, new schools, new teachers, hoefully we pick correctly.

BTW, I'm going to post over in the Region forum, but I'm looking for recommendations on testers in the Philly region. I've gotten one already, but if anyone else has had a positive experience testing, please post or PM me. Thanks.

JB

I'll refer you to the tried-and-true Hoagies' page on the subject:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/psychologists.htm#susa

These are testers recommended--often (if not always?) by other Hoagies users--as accustomed to working with GT kids. I recommended a new tester in our area after she did a fabulous job with my DS7.

I'd recommend starting there. Welcome to the start of the long journey...

Cathy A and Kriston I am sorry you both have had such bad experiences with your schools.

JBDad I hope you find a good tester and Edwin I hope your new school works out well.