Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy how to get DS7 to learn to swim?

DS7 used to love swimming classes when he was like 18 months old. When he was around 4 years old, I tried to teach him to really swim. He cried and cried and refused to let go of me. Since then, once a year we try to get someone to teach him to swim. One year it was a lovely bubbly mom friend teaching him in a tiny pool. One year it was a group lesson with friends taught by a cool and fun college kid. DS always clings to the wall and just refuses to let go. He reports to everyone that he is afraid and there doesn't seem to be anything that can break through this fear. I've tried offering a bribe too. He is not interested. He has missed birthday parties and fun trips to water parks because he is so afraid of the water. (He wanted to go to those things so badly but just cried that he was too afraid.)

Any advice?

Wading pool, walking around in three feet of water, practice holding his breath, inflatable tube he won't slip through to kick himself around.

My DS9 has a lot of sensory issues and struggled like MAD in the pool. He repeated level 1 over and over, literally for years. He FINALLY passed into level 2 at the age of 9 (I started him in lessons at 4 - I'm not joking - he just couldn't pass).

The main key that I can identify (other than the fact that he's grown and matured, which I'm sure has contributed) is the fact that I bought him goggles. He's extremely visual/spatial/right brained (excelled early at mazes, puzzles, etc). He needed to SEE under water (the chlorine hurt his eyes so he couldn't open them without goggles). Once he discovered that he could see what was below the surface without his eyes hurting, he was like a new kid in the pool.

Not sure if that helps. The key is to find the individual child's roadblock and address it. I wish I'd tried the goggles ages ago... I could have saved some money in lessons, lol.

This is my DS2. He has always been very averse to even a drop or two of water on his face. I still have to bathe with him when washing his hair to prevent excess splashing or dripping, otherwise hysterics ensue.

Would you happen to have any extra tips for parents of young sensory kids? I was extremely unimpressed at DS' swim instructor's suggestion to just jump into the pool and immerse him fully. It struck me as draconian and disrespectful to my son's wishes, so I ignored the advice and let DS swim gently above water at his leisure. I'm more than happy to wait it out and keep building a track record of positive experiences until he decides he's ready.

DS7 refuses to swim without scuba googles (the ones that cover the nose and eyes). He is extremely sensitive to water in his eyes or nose. We had tried regular goggles to no avail, but within days of using scuba goggles we began calling him our little fish! Good luck!

Yes!! I think listening to the instructor would have been a mistake. FWIW, my DS9 was very much like your DS about getting water on his face when he was younger - it horrified him. He's much better now, and I think part of it is because I waited for him to evolve and develop and didn't traumatize him.

My daughter was very anxious about learning to swim and we didn't get anywhere with swim lessons. The only thing that worked was talking through her fears and going to the pool every day to let her gradually build up confidence. I helped her. We don't have a pool, so it was an effort. Once she started to feel more confident and could swim across the pool, she was able to take swim lessons. It took about 2 months of going almost every day and patiently encouraging her.

Thanks for the validation, CCN! It struck me as a really effective way to create an aversion. It's reassuring to know that the sensory filter can be stretched as our children mature.

Will be following this thread with interest to hear the other veterans' feedback.

Happy New Year, all!!

Those are great tips; thanks so much MON! I used to swim competitively, but teaching a young sensory child requires a completely different play book. I am definitely going to try the pre-swim towel technique.

Somewhereonearth, thanks for letting me piggyback on your thread.

If it's any consolation (particularly for the poster who's child is just 2 years old) . Both of my kids (one 2E w/ sensory issues and the other completely neurotypical) had issues at one point or another with water in their face. Both still highly dislike face/hair washes. But both swim. The older one with the issues has coordination problems and more trouble with it but he is incredibly determined. At swim lessons they only allow him to wear regular googles (not the scuba ones which he prefers) and he's fine with it though the minute lessons are over he puts his scuba googles on. Anyway just wanted to let you know both had major issues with water in the face and both swim now... And there is no need to 'toss 'em until the get over it' or anything - you can be gentle. The swim place we are at now is hardcore ... They want the kid to "push through" but when my kids were to scared or too uncomfortable we took breaks (against the hardcore swim place's advice). There is no need for a three year old to be a proficient swimmer - we have time and can take it slow. It doesn't seem that either child suffered immensely from going slow. No, they were not showing off spectacular swimming skills at 3 years old but I was more than okay with that. My guideline (for my own guys) is more like by 8 years old they should be somewhat proficient or getting there (and that's just based on how MY guys are not a general feeling that all kids should be at a certain point by a certain age as all kids are different and certainly some have issues that make it really hard for them!)