Nutmeg, it seems you have started a very good discussion. Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts with us!
My Husband and I recently attended a parenting course for parents of gifted children. There was some interesting research they told us about saying second-born and subsequent children often don't appear or act gifted, and are less likely to be identified as gifted. They mentioned that children often want to adopt their own unique identity, and differentiate themselves from older children. Of course there can be a great variety across families, but the studies they cited found between 60-80% of siblings scored within 10 IQ points of each other. The combination of high probability of gifted siblings and younger children being less likely to be identified, I think it is important to look carefully at all our children, even if they do not necessarily appear gifted.
The lecturer also said she highly recommends having an IQ test done for all children if you find one is gifted not only because of the high probability of gifted siblings but also for equity. So when they are older and ask why you didn't test their IQ, you don't have to explain that you didn't think they seemed as bright, or if the IQ test for the tested child was due to exploring second exceptionalities or challenges you don't have to explain, well you seemed 'normal' and fine but your brother/sister . . .. Which I thought was an interesting point.
DS was tested at 4.5 as he was having some other issues and we wanted his school start to run as smoothly as possible. We have not test DD yet. She is not as academically geared, but ironically, we are pretty confident she is gifted for the same characteristics you mention Nutmeg, her logic, reasoning, and maturity. She makes connections all the time. She has a good sense of humour, and her language developed very early. She also seems to have some over excitabilities. We were planning to test her at the end of this year before she enters K next year, but we might hold off until she is 6 as I think testing is supposed to be a bit better at that age. After we do get her tested, we will see whether or not she is close in IQ to DS.
