Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Meeting with principal/update: first day not great

We are meeting with the principal and DS5's teacher today to discuss his proposed part-time switch to grade 1 for reading and writing instruction. This was his teacher's idea--we did not initiate it, but at her request, we emailed various school staff supporting the idea. We do think it is a good idea. The teacher says she thinks the principal will okay it, but is not positive. She is not sure why the principal wanted to meet with us in person to discuss. She has shown the principal some testing results from DS (I am not sure what the tests were, but not IQ--probably some kind of state reading tests).

I really do not know the principal, as the school is large and there has not been any reason for us to deal with her before. So I have no idea what I am walking into. For reference, as I have discussed before, the school houses a general education population that is very low-income (about 80% of the school--DS is in gen ed because he is in K) and a gifted magnet that starts in gr 2, which is higher-income and very different in many other ways (DD9 is in the magnet).

DS5 is doing okay in K with a great deal of personalized help from his teacher, who is amazing. I think she is worn out by trying to meet him where he is and would like to have him be instructed elsewhere for part of the day, in part so she can better help her other students. He is a child who will emotionally shut down if school does not meet his needs, so emotionally, challenge is important. Last year in preschool we had daily tears and resistance to school due to boredom. I plan to emphasize this if things go south. Any other tips? Our past efforts to advocate for our child (DD, at another school) were spectacularly unsuccessful, so I'm nervous. However, we did not have a teacher in our corner as we do now.

Start by expressing gratitude. Gratitude for the great lengths the kindergarten teacher has gone to serve his needs, and gratitude for his time to meet with you to discuss options, and the flexibility everyone at the school has shown to meet your family's needs. Express your understanding for the role of a teacher serving so many different needs in one classroom.

This sort of thing goes a long way, particularly since it is genuine.

Go in with questions: Ex: Here's a writing sample done on his own -- where would this place him relative to the first graders he'd be joining? What would be the plans going forward into next year if this is the arrangement, specifically, how will his needs be met in a 1st grade classroom next year after spending half a year in this arrangement?

That sounds very promising--good luck!! I bet you were going to do this anyway, but I would talk up the teacher as much as possible and also offer to help in any way possible. Maybe even try to get some teacher cheerleading in at the beginning! I hope the principal just wants to make sure you're on board with it, and I hope it works out!

Yes, possibly even bring a list of DS' recent books read to support the test results which the teacher has shared. (At or after the meeting do try to find out what the test results were and obtain a copy for your records.)

This may also be an opportunity to meet the other teacher, set goals, and craft a plan for next steps... such as meeting in two weeks time to discuss the "fit".

Wishing all the best for you in the meeting and for your DS in the learning environment they hope to create for him!

Sometimes principal's are scared that the acceleration will not work out (the student can't handle the higher level) and that then the parent will blame the school.

If this is the concern, one option is to lay out a transition plan. We had something like that when DS did something similar in K. We had a document that laid out how he would know when to go, how the new teacher would keep in touch with us, how homework would get moved around the building, and who he would sit with for the first 3 weeks. We also had written in there a date by which we'd agree on his placement the following year.

Good point that it may be to make sure we are on board. I know the teacher approached the principal before we sent the emails, so it may be that the principal is not sure we are really into this, or, alternately, she just wants to get a sense of us as people.

I definitely plan to talk up the teacher (100% genuine!)


He has a writing journal he works on in the classroom. Hopefully his teacher will bring this, or has shown it to the principal; she told me she has shown it to a lot of people. I'm certainly concerned about your second question. His teacher suggested that he should be skipped, but that this is not politically possible. We are not currently really in favor of this, so don't plan to bring it up, but it's probably a good idea to diplomatically bring forward the issue of next year.

Great ideas! Thank you!

Well, it went well. It seemed clear that it was Option A-- the principal wasn't sure if we knew the plan or were on board. He will start in the grade 1 classroom MOnday and spend 2 hours a day there to start. The principal brought up grade 1 on her own and said she was hoping for a 1/2 split as they have often had, but if that did not work out they would plan to send him to grade 2 for some of the day, like this year. She did specifically say they did not endorse skipping "in this school" due to the presence of the magnet. I am letting that lie for now since we are unsure about this ourselves (although his teacher's words on this echo in my mind).

Complicated to some degree. I believe we are in doppleganger schools: partial gifted magnet in a primarily title 1 school. I don't know that the school ever skipped before as the TD director actually had to research the option before suggesting it as the best option for our DS when the HG program requirements ended up being too well-rounded for him. I like that you are also experiencing flexible but cautious administration. We had heard echoes of "no skips," but with attentive and sincere staff common sense can win out.