Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy should we accelerate @ school or continue @ home?

So, really long story short: my son is being accelerated from 2nd grade to 5th grade math. He is supposed to begin next week. I met with the 5th grade teacher today. She gave me about 100 reasons why it will not work. These include: the extensive writing requirements found in the 5th grade Everyday Math (sigh, I know) curriculum, the "adolescent talk" that goes on during math class, the fact that he will be a 7 year old among 10-11 year olds, the fact that he is partially homeschooled, the fact that he has to master timed tests and the various methods of multiplication.

Do we just pull out now and say, no thanks? Or do we go ahead and try it out for a few weeks? My chief concern is that if my son tries it, and fails miserably, will he be ok? Will I have allowed some kind of damage to happen to him that I could have avoided?

Thoughts from all of you wise ones out there please!

First, I don't think that your son will be damaged if he tries 5th grade math and it doesn't work out, provided that you don't leave him for months in the situation if it ends up turning toxic. Given that you are already thinking ahead about this, I don't think that will happen.

Who were the people involved in making this decision and were they supportive? If the principal was supportive of the move, perhaps you can talk, maybe informally, about your concerns with the 5th grade math teacher. Having that math teacher at least receptive to the idea is definitely preferable.

Do you sense that the teacher was downright hostile to the idea of your DS being in her math class, or is she just highly doubtful that it is going to work? She probably has never seen a child like yours before and can't imagine that this placement could actually work, but it could be an opportunity for her eyes to be opened. I know that happened with my DD. The teachers didn't think the acceleration would work, but within a few weeks their minds changed and, not only that, the minds of many of the teachers in the school were opened up a bit to the possibilities.

About EDM, I don't think that the writing requirements are extensive at any level, including 5th grade. Virtually all the homework is worksheets on which you don't even have to write the units down. This would not be a concern of mine at all.

As far as adolescent talk, sure, it might happen. Hopefully it won't happen a lot since your DS is only going to be in there for math and, hopefully, the kids will be focused on math and not chatting. Still, even if it does come up, it is a good opportunity for you to open lines of communication with your DS and have discussions about how your family feels about certain topics. It's not like you are dropping him on an island with preteens and leaving him to his own devices!

And finally, if your DS is ready to be accelerated three grades in math, you should have no doubt that he has the mental capacity to master all the various methods of multiplication. He is probably even smart enough to realize how silly it is to have to solve the same multiplication problem three different ways!

Make sure the teacher doesn't make it not work.

Who were the people involved in making this decision and were they supportive? If the principal was supportive of the move, perhaps you can talk, maybe informally, about your concerns with the 5th grade math teacher. Having that math teacher at least receptive to the idea is definitely preferable.


The people involved were DS's tester (psych who specializes in gifted and 2E), principal is supportive (mainly because she thinks we will stop complaining) and us (me and DH). The teacher is not hostile...just a little incredulous that this will work.

And finally, if your DS is ready to be accelerated three grades in math, you should have no doubt that he has the mental capacity to master all the various methods of multiplication. He is probably even smart enough to realize how silly it is to have to solve the same multiplication problem three different ways! smile

DS learned the various methods of multiplication last year. Don't worry - he already knows that it's ridiculous and refuses to do any other way than the way he has already mastered. I'm concerned that when he refuses to do the different ways, that the teacher is going to label this a "failure".

This is great. I think that DS will rise to the "challenge". The challenge is not the math. It's all the other stuff. Really the only reason that he is in 5th grade math at school is because this is the highest grade in the school. (Side note, a local private school has offered to allow him to go there for 6th grade math. The timing is bad, so we aren't doing it.)

We don't care about grades at all. This is something the school doesn't understand. When the teacher remarked that she didn't know how to give him a math grade given the crazy logistics, I told her not to worry about it. We don't care if he doesn't get any grade. She didn't understand that.

THIS is what I am worried about. I think there are a lot of teachers who are secretly hoping that he will fail.

DD8 skipped a full grade against the school's wishes, and we saw evidence of attempted sabotage on the school's part when she began the year at the right grade level. Every problem that came up, they wanted to pin on the grade skip, as a "See, I told you so" exercise.

Given that this is a more dramatic change for your DS, and that the teacher expects it to fail, I would expect to see more of this in your case.

Don't get me started on Everyday Math.

As for adolescent talk, I've actually heard dumber excuses from a teaching professional, who bewilderingly worried about DD's mental state if her classmates grew breasts before her. In your case, would assure the teacher that my child is not being raised in a bubble, and regularly interacts with members of all age groups.

At some level, your DS will be doubting himself, as well, and getting feedback from the teacher that fuels his doubt will make it tougher. He'll need a lot of support at home to power through that doubt.

DD8 has finished her first quarter, and done very well, so it seems those doubts are melting away, and she's being accepted as a 4th grader.

As for adolescent talk, I've actually heard dumber excuses from a teaching professional, who bewilderingly worried about DD's mental state if her classmates grew breasts before her.

OK, I just laughed out loud at this! WOW! When this teacher talked to me this morning about "adolescent talk" - she said, "you know some of them might know a little bit about the birds and bees". I let her know that DS knows all about human reproduction actually. He would be happy to clarify things for the other students if they aren't clear about how it works. I gave her a wink of course, but DS would actually be surprised if 5th graders DIDN'T know about reproduction because he's in 2nd grade and knows exactly how it works - the science part of it.

Thanks, Dude for the rest of your feedback. I will be sure to give him extra mental support.

My main concern would be the teacher - although I don't know the teacher (and I suspect you don't really know her either). What you're hearing might be a teacher who is convinced this isn't going to work, or it could simply be a teacher who states all the reasons that could be issues up front and then falls in love with your ds and he'll have a wonderful experience and you'll never hear another potential negative statement again. My ds has had a teacher with a personality like that - when ds wanted to try something new and challenging she will spill out all the reasons it might not work - it would sound really intimidating and negative (to me) but not to dh - he was used to her style from being in her classroom, and he listened to what she had to say, and then moved forward - it was her way of preparing him for challenges he might face, rather than intended to discourage.


I don't understand that at all, unless there are different grading systems for early elementary and 5th grade (like O/S/etc vs A/B/C)?

polarbear

I agree that the worries over kids developing breasts or having knowledge of the birds and bees aren't reasons to think through the age difference, but there are things that I would think through re the age split, based both on what other parents I know have experienced with this particular set of age combinations as well as what I have seen in my own children's classes and based on what we're living through with a 6th grader who was a 5th grade girl last year. Please know, none of this would stop me from placing my 2nd grader in a 5th grade math class for one period a day - I would just want to be aware of it going in. I think the potential issues that could arise would be much more likely to occur in a topic-driven discussion based class like social studies, for example, where kids were spending less time listening to having a lesson explained followed by working on math problems. (OTOH, this is EM, so um, all bets are off - it might all be project-based and all about teams working together lol... ooops... I'm diverging....) Anyway, back to the topic, a class of 5th graders is going to have some kids who are going through puberty or who are on the verge. Puberty isn't all about growing breasts - it's a lot about changes in hormones, changes in what kids are thinking about and find fun to talk about etc. So there can be a lot of *emotion* that comes into the classroom.

Re the teacher's concern about writing demands and EM, in our school district EM required a *ton* of explain your work as well as "do this problem three different ways and explain all of them". While I would have no concerns about sending my child to an upper-grade classroom to be appropriately challenged in math, I'm not entirely sure it's worth the time with an EM math or similar curriculum, and especially if your ds will be at this same school again next year and still unable to attend a higher-than-5th grade level math class. When you look past 5th grade math in 2nd grade, what happens in 3rd grade? Is he eventually going to have to be doing independent math study during the school day? If so, would it be better just to go there now?

polarbear