Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to Hothouse Your Kid

Here it's animal husbandry and yard cleanup skills.

I haven't read through this entire thread. But, to respond to the OP's original questions: I live in a community with RIDICULOUS hothousing parents. Some of them are immigrants who come from a country where, to do well (go to a good university), you have to do exceptionally well on whatever test is administered. But, apparently, in that particular culture, there are BIG tests along the child's educational journey, so you are always preparing to do very well on some test. This particular nationality has brought the same sentiments here and so from age 18 months or so, they are hothousing their babies like crazy.

Then we have just regular ol' American pushy parents who hothouse for whatever their reasons are. What I have seen is this: my DS7 PG DYS son was NOT identified for our gifted program in K (really a nothing program of 45 min pull out fun-sey stuff once a week). Why? Well, in large part, to the untrained eyes of the teachers, my DS didn't look so special next to the hothoused children. The hothoused kids could read very well upon entering K (maybe at the 1st grade level). They could do very well, at whatever is taught at Kumon or the local weekend hothouse program. My DS upon entering K at 5 years old, was a very weak reader....not really interested. He strongly preferred watching the hour long Nova special on string theory and then taking the time to discuss the theory with DH. He was busy rewiring outlets in our house because he understood the principles of electricity and had the dexterity to do it (but would start to cry if he had to write out the alphabet).

Now my DS is in 2nd grade. The hothoused kids have started to "even out".

I think the irregular verb quoted is fairly accurate. I consider talking non stop about everything to my kids to be normal but not everyone does. I consider teaching my kids basic maths and reading readiness part of being a parent too. I think sending your kids to afterschool drill centres (if they are not struggling) and 5 afterschool activities is hot housing.

Basically to me hot housing is asking more of a child than a child of their IQ and age than is reasonable.

Well then we've hothoused no biting, not throwing your cup on the floor, and leaving the poor dog alone.

The talk about "Your Baby Can Read" and Glen Doman reminded me of a website I came across years ago. When the YBCR infomercials first came out I did a little searching on the internet to see if anyone had posted reviews, results, etc. I happened on a site called "Brill Kids" (http://www.brillkids.com). It's a company that sells computer products for parents that want to engage their babies and toddlers in what they call "early learning" (I suppose "hothousing" isn't a great term for pushing their products.) The site has a forum full of parents working on reading, math, science, etc. with their young children. It provides very different views on the topics than the ones expressed here...

I had completely forgotten about it! I obviously don't ascribe to their beliefs, but it's interesting to see these parents' perspectives on the topic.

Indigo, thank you for posting "This is an interesting thought and one that some may disagree with... as alluded to in this article discussing whether children's abilities even out in third grade (link- http://giftedkids.about.com/od/schoolissues/i/even_out.htm)."

I recall reading this earlier, but had forgotten it. It does a nice job of separating achievement (which is really what these parents seem to be trying to accomplishment) from giftedness. If parents want to help their children achieve more, that is a very different thing than then equating early achievement with gifted ability.

Beautifully put.

Because I'm officially the meanest mom in the world tonight, as I "hothouse" my 14yo with respect to college essays which are due tomorrow, and prevent her from-- hmm--



well, okay, she's eaten dinner, and she's free to use the bathroom at will. I guess I did prevent her from using Skype until she's got something drafted.

LOL. Is this "appropriate" for a 14yo? Well, I have no real idea, but I know that it's the expectation for THIS 14yo, all right, and it's entirely reasonable.

Possibly a future thread could be "How to Helicopter Parent Your Kid"? (link- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent)

As DH once acidly quipped after a particularly nasty advocacy exchange with DD's school;

So, Mrs. Howler, do you see yourself as more of a Sikorsky? Or a Huey?

SNORT. Hey, it made me laugh on a day when that should have been an impossibility, so...

When a kid is going through a growth spurt and they are hungry all the time; is it not abusive *NOT* to feed them more?

The same applies for mental growth IMO.

I have done things that might be and have probably been considered 'hot housing' just by exposing my DD8 to things like logarithms and solving simultaneous linear equations but she has just gobbled them up. It isn't as though I have had to use a 'gavage' to cram things in, at all.

If a girl were fascinated with Disney princesses, for instance, would it be abusive to indulge her? (Actually, on second thought, it may be in that particular case LOL.)

Agreed! This brings to mind the all-too-common experience of gifted kids in school. Readers may wish to see the recent thread "How do you feel about the public school system?"

Exposure provides an enriched and positive environment. The element of imposing an expectation on the child to learn above level, is present in hot-housing.

While she is gobbling, she's not being hot-housed. When her attention or interests may change to something else... parents may wish to follow the child's lead.

I really like the observation several posters made that gifted kids essentially hot-house themselves. Unfortunately, the schools seem to be aware of this at some level... taken to the extreme, this may lead to the myth that gifted kids will do fine on their own, without school support, throughout their educational "careers".