Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to Hothouse Your Kid

I've not heard this, do you have a source to share in which she discusses this belief?

I understand that her focus is on linquistics, so this may be her specialty. May I ask what informs your belief that she discounts the abilities of the mathematically gifted (other than this is not her focused area of study)?

Personally, I do not find her to be advice-y, but more explain-y or present-y. That being said, the vast array of knowledge to be learned, aspects to consider on any topic, and the lens of one's own personal experiences... give rise to varied viewpoints. This is why parents seek a good "fit" in finding teachers, schools, pediatricians, testers, psychologists, columnists, pundits... all kinds of experts. We share one earth and hopefully decide to peacefully coexist.

May I say, your child is also quite fortunate to have you as a parent, as you sound vary compatible in your learning/teaching styles. Nice how that works out sometimes.

Books can be comforting, the presence of books she has read may almost be a trophy of sorts? Some kids very much enjoy pictures, charts, graphs, any kind of illustration... and may cling to books which stimulate this part of the mind. Some families have success in talking with their children about how the words paint a picture in our mind... even how this picture may be different for each person who reads the words... some may even compare and discuss details of the pictures in their minds, when reading a book with few or no illustrations.

Not to me.

It may be the 2nd e?

It may be the 2nd e?

You might wish to ask the teacher how your son approached the books... whether he liked reading them... did she ask him questions about the books... was he in a group also reading at that level... if he was motivated then, possibly those conditions could be replicated to support and encourage him now?

YIKES! I share your concern. There is a saying, "What you reward, you get more of." Somehow reading at his level was rewarding (hopefully intrinsically rewarding) last year. Wish I had answers for you... I only have these questions which I've shared.

I asked her about the Mouse and the Motorcycle (I was very skeptical that this was an appropriate book for him) and apparently he did not complain about it and was able to answer comprehension questions. One other boy in the class was reading it as well. The teacher last year said he whipped through the Level O assessment in the middle of the year (they do Fountas and Pinnel). She said he could probably read more advanced material but she didn't have higher level assessments.
Fast Forward to this year. First grade teacher says that DS is reading at a Level L. (is it a coincidence that this is the highest level she has in the classroom?). Even the picture books that DS reads here at home are a higher level than that. i told her that doesn't sound right and she said he needs to learn to answer comprehension questions better. The stuff he is bringing home isn't even Level L most of the time. He has brought home books that are about a Level B! Very frustrating. I talked to another mom in the class and she said the same thing (and her kid had a different teacher last year). It is like we are going backwards one complete year.

blackcat - might he be trying to blend in with expectations? (and possibly feel that higher level work would be some sort of punishment?) just speaking from my extremely limited experience.

I don't believe I hothouse ds6, but I do encourage. He is not working to his ability at school and is trying to fit in. I do "make" him read at his level and offer enrichment as he requests in math and science. Yet, isn't that what parents do? Support learning and help when kids have questions? No matter where my child was, I would want him challenged.

For ds3 (not sure of his ability/ iq), he is very different from his brother. Everything is child driven or he won't engage (with me). We play word and number games. He loves gear toys and building toys. I read to him as much as I can. However, no flash cards or baby can read type activities.

He definitely tries to blend in. At first he told the teacher in first grade that he wants to do higher level math and now when I ask him about it he says he is "just fine". But he has mastered the first and second grade math curriculum and half of third grade according to the testing that has been done. So how can he possibly be happy doing first grade math?
Part of it is probably the 2e situation--writing is extremely difficult for him and he hates it. What he would really like is to get on the computer to do math but the teacher won't do it.

We've seen that in spades with DD.

As long as she isn't aware that most kids her age do X, not Y... then she is perfectly happy doing Y with occasionally brilliant flashes of Z, even...

but as soon as she gets the idea that this is NOT normative, she seems to retreat to the lowest common denominator in a hurry, and to deny that she was ever doing anything else.

It's maddening.

HK- I am seeing this with my ds which is making me want to change his school situation (homeschool or gifted school). It is maddening! He is also starting to say, "I can't." Makes me sad, and frustrated with school who thinks "he's fine".

A fallacy is still a fallacy.

Ms. Bainbridge has a bachelor's degree in psychology, and has published no peer-reviewed research papers on gifted psychology that I've found. That does not make an expert. She volunteers for a gifted organization, and has a gifted child of her own, which doesn't make her any more of an expert in the topic than many of us here.

So yeah, she fits the profile of About.com "expert" very nicely. And since I'd already verified that about her specifically before making the comment about About.com generally, there was no mistake.


They do?? Keeping in mind Ms. Bainbridge's definition of hothousing as teaching a child something before they're cognitively ready for it, Amy Chua doesn't seem to know when she's doing it: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

"Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them."

"Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children"

"Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—"

Etc.

Could it be that she enjoys reading books that are targeted to her age level? These would obviously not be the same books that are written for her reading level, as you have mentioned that she skipped a grade.


I have heard this from my 6 year old sons, who are also in first grade. I think they just do not enjoy sitting and reading one story for very long, and they don't want to read part of it and come back to it later. They just really aren't ready to enjoy chapter books, even though they would be able to read and comprehend them. They do enjoy reading non-fiction books, and longer picture books or longer "readers" and will read them instead.