Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to Hothouse Your Kid

As a statistical generalization the "myth" is true -- even in a state like Massachusetts where there is very little gifted programming, gifted children "will do fine" in the sense of going to college and getting good jobs at higher rates than non-gifted kids. With gifted programming they might do even better, but policymakers are not thinking about that.

But as a group, without appropriate support, gifted children may fall further short of their potential than any other group.

I suggest you read your own sources again, then, because this clear-cut statement from your first one says nothing about intrinsic reward:


You're putting too much emphasis on this statement, which is poorly written, and I suspect, based on the examples given, the author intended it to be directed towards toddler and pre-K age groups:


The above is true for the years prior to 1st grade. Once they start pursuing a formal education, every child, no matter how intrinsically motivated, is going to find something they'd rather not learn. Making them learn it anyway is not hothousing.

Finally, the appeal to authority is a fallacy, and the term "experts" loses some of its authority in reference to About.com.

Well, some of them will be fine.

I'd argue that those who are most likely to be "fine" while being utterly neglected are most likely to be MG and not have extreme needs socially or educationally.

The others, though... a great many of those children will NOT be fine.

MA may do better than most places this way due to a number of other factors, too. After all, the state, tiny though it is, is also home to what is likely one of highest concentrations of the best institutions of higher learning anywhere on the planet.

Imagine being an utterly neglected PG student in...

Wyoming.

This is how I distinguish between an enriched environment and hot housing. I buy my kid Lego blocks. She is happy to get them. Once I open the box for her, I walk away. She builds with them, uses them as projectile objects, or water containers or anything else she chooses. I don't interfere. While she makes a mess using lego blocks in every unintended way, she is talking to herself or questioning me on gravity, liquids vs. solids, balance, etc. I am as engaged or disengaged as she wants me to. Otoh, I buy her a Lego set that can only be put together one way. I make her sit and watch as I assemble the kit. Then I make her practice till she gets it right, I am hovering right there to make sure she doesn't make any mistakes. Yay, my kid can build complex Lego kits. I am a proud (hothousing) mama.

I don't think all gifted kids are self-driven or motivated to learn to their level. The other day I asked DD what she is reading in school. She told me and then she said "S is reading Harry Potter! I can't believe it! That book is SO LONG and huge!" I said "You can read Harry Potter too if you want. You are certainly capable of reading at that level." Dh went into the basement and dug into boxes to find the books. He gave it to DD and suggested she sit down and try it. A couple hours later she was almost done with book 1. She finished it the next day and then asked for book 2. Now I have the dilemma of trying to figure out if the rest of the series is Ok for a kid who just turned 8 or if they are too dark and creepy.
Without a little "pushing" DD would never have picked up that book. She probably would have picked up Rainbow Magic instead which she could read a few years ago and is meant for first or second graders.

Some may notice that in reading comprehension tests, the exact words of the Q&A may *not* be found in the story thereby testing the understanding of the meaning of various words and concepts. Similarly, in this case, the concepts presented by the words "parents push" may contrast with the child experiencing "intrinsic reward" when something is "appropriate for the cognitive age of the children".
As with many circumstances in life, the degree to which ideas resonate with different people, and each individual's take-away may vary considerably based upon their uniquely accumulated previous experiences and resultant knowledge base.

Agreed that this is geared toward toddler, pre-K, and/or years prior to 1st grade. The OP introduced the topic of hothousing focused on getting 2 & 3 year olds to read; The links I offered focused on this as well. Keeping the posts in context may be key to understanding. Rather than critique these sources, if you do not like them, might you offer other sources to consider?

Agreed. That is not the topic of this conversation and adding it here may be called "kitchen sinking".

Some may say that your change of focus from the specific author (Carol Bainbridge) to the generalization of the overall website (About . com) is perhaps flawed logic? Ms. Bainbridge has both education credentials and experience with the gifted sufficient to write expert articles. She is listed several times on the Davidson Database, and is also one of recognized names endorsing the book "A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children".

In summary, parents tend to know when they are hot-housing their kids. Some parents believe these are good approaches to keep their kiddo/s competitive... others believe these practices may be detrimental. Some may believe hot-housing works (or they would not engage in it), others believe at least certain hot-housing practices do not work, still others observe hot-housing may provide a temporary boost to achievement/performance after which the child/ren's achievement/performance may even out.

+1 great example
The enrichment described may encourage growth mindset; the hot-housing described may limit a child to a fixed mindset, sans exploration, inquiry, and resilience.

While it may be true that not all kids are self-driven or motivated to learn at their level, this may be a child's response to a glass ceiling, direct discouragement to their past attempts at inquiry, exploration, etc. (For example, think of how many times kids ask questions, get told that it's a good question, receive an answer, or an admission that someone does not know the answer but will help find an answer... versus being told they don't need to know, they ask too many questions, that's an odd question, or the child's question may just be screened out (ignored)...)

In the example provided, the only "push" may be the removal of a glass ceiling. There is encouragement for the child to explore what their challenge level may be. There is the support of providing an enriched and positive environment. There is the child's demonstrated interest which has been fostered by the support and encouragement.

DD has plenty of challenging books in her room at her reading level, she just doesn't pick them up. She often chooses books that are below her actual grade level. Whether it's laziness, or lack of self-confidence, I don't know. I've threatened to take all the books out of her room that are below her level so that she tries the more advanced ones. I sound like a horrible pushy hothousing parent but that is what I'm dealing with. Lazy gifted children. DS, my younger kid, is even worse and has been able to read chapter book for a couple years (and can read them in about 20 minutes) but every time I suggest one he whines and says that they are way too long. He had a teacher last year in Kindergarten who made him read Beverly Cleary books like the Mouse and the Motorcycle and that was probably a very good thing for him. I don't do that at home--it's not worth getting into a battle.
Now this year in first grade he is actually going backwards in school with his reading because the teacher is giving him stuff below his level. He is bringing home picture books with 5 words on each page.