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I'd just like to note - lack of sustained attention in school isn't a particularly good marker for ADHD in a six year old.

A much better indicator would be consistently, easily distracted from their present activity, inability to consider the consequences of their actions (impulsiveness), and difficulty following multi-step directions.

It sounds more like your son has "checked out".

Thank you all for your input. It is so helpful. I don't want to be the parent that assumes my kids behavior is unacceptable because he's bright and bored. I have fought that argument because I feel like he does, at some point, need to learn how to operate in a classroom.

And then, he brings home another coloring worksheet with tally marks and I'm not surprised at all at his behavior. We were casually doing some multiplication and division with his pretzels when he got home from school...his idea. He's curious and he seems to get it, at least at this very basic level.

He does not like to write. Ever. Yesterday and today he was asked to write facts about apples in reading, facts about bats in science and facts about sharks in his gifted class. He can spit these facts out the first time he hears them, so why can't he go on to using this information in some meaningful way? Does he just need to learn to muscle through all the activities like fact writing? I don't know the answer to that.

It is clear that there is a disconnect and you all have offered some fantastic ideas. I want it to be clean and easy. If it's ADHD, fine. Let's deal with it and move on. Obviously, that's not the way this works. I'm tired and I feel the journey has just begun.

We had the opposite experience. They told us that he was ADHD-Inattentive and suggested that we test privately. We did and that's how we discovered his gifted/LD profile. I know of another kid that was told the same thing (minus the Inattentive) and he came out PG with OE. There are so many ADHD diagnosed kids in most schools that it is what they are the most familiar with.

I understand. So little seems to be clean and easy in our own journey. I do wonder whether the learning environment is just not a good fit based on what you've shared. He's six. Maybe he's just not ready to write as quickly as his mind works. Maybe he sees that the worksheets are so easy that the effort seems meaningless. These are experiences some of us have lived through/live through with our own children. It is possible that there is a LD at play. But be mindful of the tendency of many educators to want to find a label to fit their own perspective, rather than dig deeper to find the truth.

I worked in a different school district last year with kids one on one (reading) and I had a few where it seemed obvious they had ADHD. The teachers seemed very resistant to talking to the parents about it, and that was my experience as well with my own kid in a different school. One teacher actually told me what I said above...they can hint by using words like "unfocused", but they can't come right out and suggest ADHD. I think there are tons of kids that actually do have it and they are never diagnosed (and of course there are kids who do not have it, but are diagnosed, or worse yet, put on meds). It takes a thorough eval and if there are any concerns at all about focus or attention, I suggest parents take the child in for a private eval.

I'd suggest an experiment (or have the teachers do it) - ask him to write facts about "x" then repeat but offer to scribe for him (he tells you exactly what to write). This was one of the accommodations that came out of his report and it made a huge difference for us. He is still encouraged to work on his writing and we don't always scribe but it was great for getting things started and allowed him to get credit for what he knew not just what he could put on paper. His writing is now coming along so we don't do it as much as we did last year but last year it was key to keeping school from being a complete disaster.



I can totally relate. Take a deep breath. Last year was exhausting for us but we eventually managed to figure a few things out, advocated and got a FANTASTIC teacher this year and it has been much better. There is hope. I know we're likely not done but I'm enjoying the calm while I can. Hopefully, you're school will be amazing and help you sort out a better path for him soon.

Concerning the writing issue:

Is it that he has a problem writing the *kinds* of answers he wants to write? For example, most of the other kids might want to simply respond with "It is scary" while he wants to write a 6 year old's equivalent of a dissertation on the difference between white and nurse sharks. It's tough for a 6 year old to write that much, even if there aren't LD issues involved. He might also know the right words and their meaning, but not how to spell them (and if perfectionism is present, then we all know that a 6 year year old will believe he should spell everything correctly the first time).

I've just noticed with my child that sometimes the quality of the answers he wants to present can actually inhibit his ability to respond.

If they are hinting at ADHD remind them that the diagnoses requires certain things to exist after the age of 7 (I think 7 definately older than 6) for the simple reason the behavoirs are quite normal before that.

And yes they should only hint as they are not qualified to diagnose.

We had the meeting with the counselor yesterday. She was very nice and is going to observe DS and talk with him about school. (She specifically said that she was NOT trying to look for ADHD but to observe how he is functioning in class.)

I feel like I was direct, cited examples and scores and the bottom line is that our county and school are quite advanced. Our bell curve is highly unusual. Thirty percent of the fifth grade class qualified for the Duke Tip program. They have advanced content classes at the upper grades and have considered cross grouping. Their concern is that if they accelerate kids and then they can't handle calculus in 10th grade, for example, then they've set the kids up for failure.

She said that the teachers would not advance DS if he didn't show proficiency in lower-level tasks. She said there were kids just like him in his class. I asked why then, are there 6 worksheets on tally marks when everyone can do addition and subtraction with negative numbers like my son. (Okay, I wasn't that snarky, but you get it She said that, compared to the other 7 schools she's been in, this is advanced content.

I don't think they would ever consider subject acceleration. Not when there are smart kids everywhere. I don't think DS is PG. So, maybe he's in the right place and I just need to be very grateful. I'm not convinced about that, but it's something I need to consider.

Some of you suggested that I speak directly with him about what's going on at school. We talked for a while after school that day while we were playing in the backyard. He casually said his reading teacher asked him to hurry up and finish writing his facts. I asked why he thought it was taking him longer to finish. "I was thinking about it." Later, we were working on math. He was answering 30 questions on a computer game. I was checking on him and asked him to just enter the answer and move along. He paused and I told him again. He responded by saying, "I'm thinking. (Pause) Is thinking bad?" How sad is that? At six years old, he's picked up the idea that thinking is bad. That is NOT okay with me.

I apologize if this is not helpful. Also, we live in a high achieving district that claims to "get" gt kids and differentiates for them. (Our ds was tested privately last year- hg with vision issue)

I have had a similar experience with the school telling me my ds6 "has a peer group" and "some are achieving more than him". Ok. There is nothing I can say, really. (He doesn't like writing, has vision issues and is going to VT, and hates math fluency.) In comparing within the box, his output is not as great; BUT he has the knowledge and know how.

My ds similarly "acts" fine at school. Home life (before/ after school) is quite different. We believe he is holding it together at school and letting his frustrations out at home. He does have a pleaser type personality. I also think he realizes he is different from his classmates. (Btw, this year is slightly better than last year. Nice teacher. More flexible teaching style.) At this point, we are questioning whether this school "gets" our ds, and if they will service him at all.

You know your dc. If he is acting different at home. Something is going on. Trying to get the school to help may be more challenging. Maybe getting some testing might help you figure out what is going on.