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    Joined: Sep 2013
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    Originally Posted by epoh
    Is it possible to get her switched into one of the other classes in her same grade? I know some schools are cool with this and some not, but it might be worth asking.


    No. I spoke with the principal about this. I got a one line email in return stating they do not grant these requests. She did not ask for further details or inquire about why I would want to switch. Maybe I'm over thinking it but I would think the appropriate response as a principal would be to dig a bit deeper and find out why the parent is requesting a change.

    Originally Posted by madeinuk
    Quote
    she also refuses to acknowledge DD hearing loss (a hole in R ear with partial hearing loss and an ear drum that burst Monday from a severe ear infection, probably causing more hearing loss) as an issue since she performs well with some assignments and not with others.

    I have always had a hearing impediment - almost totally deaf my right ear. That last bit about erratic performance is basically what got me labelled as borderline retarded by my primary school teachers.

    Oh how I have proved them wrong since but man did getting hit every day suck! (corporal punishment was alive and well in those days).

    Obviously if your DD hears the directions she can follow them and if she cannot then she cannot follow them! Get the hearing test, the IQ test and the achievement test. Hard facts + mother's intuition will be a far more potent combination.


    Hearing test came back at between 20-40% (I forget the exact number) loss in R ear until it is patched. PEd said the ear drum that burst there is definitely hearing loss until it repairs itself and the infection is gone. IQ testing and a full eval is being done mid-late Nov. We made 2 visits to not overwhelm DD. Achievement testing is high 90's for most with a few 79 and above. I'm not sure how it is read or graded though so I couldn't say if she is low, moderate or high on those ones.
    Anyone know how the STAR literacy is reviewed?

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    Originally Posted by master of none
    Originally Posted by jholland1203
    MON I've never heard of CAPD. Can you tell me more about it?


    I don't know a lot about it, but there have been discussions on this board. The two things that struck me were that she has trouble in the noisy environment, and that she's had a lot of ear infections.

    My DS had a burst eardrum and he said it sounded like one ear heard before the other ear and one ear made sound seem farthere away than the other. (which I guess is neither here nor there)

    Here's the wikipedia link:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auditory_processing_disorder


    I'm very interested in learning more about this and finding out who I need to talk with to see if this is part or all of DD's issues. What struck me in the link was that is listed characteristics which DD has almost all except the reading, spelling etc. and carrying out multi step directions. Another thing that struck me is that this disorder can mimic Aspergers and ADHD which at one time or another I questioned.

    I am definitely going to look further into this, thank you for the link!

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    I also don't have much to add - you've received lots of good advice above. I suspect this teacher will always be an issue - hopefully she'll become more understanding and willing to work with you as the year goes by - but even if she doesn't, try to remember that this is one year out of your dd's education. The important thing to focus on is long-term - is there something here you need to learn and/or understand to help with what happens not only now but in the future, after this year with this difficult teacher is over. Pursuing a private eval will most likely help tremendously in that direction.

    Originally Posted by jholland1203
    She said she was concerned with the level books DD chooses (K) vs. what they know she can read (2+).

    This is just a question out of curiosity because I am not sure I'm familiar with the reading levels your school uses - what is a K relative to a 2+ - is that referring to grade level, meaning your dd is choosing simple books to read when the teacher knows she's capable of higher level books, or does it mean she's choosing higher level books when the teacher thinks she isn't capable of comprehending them? If she's purposely choosing books that are easy.... two thoughts. First thought - why is that an issue? Seriously? If it is an issue, then yes, the teacher should limit what books she can choose from. Second thought - have you asked your dd why she chooses the books she does? Does she like picture books better? Is the font too small in the higher level books? There could be 100+ reasons she's choosing the books she is, and asking your dd why she chooses what she does can be very useful information in understanding what's up.

    Quote
    I'm not sure why this teacher appears to not want to help the situation and make suggestions as to what she feels is going.

    This may not help, but have you thought about informally stopping in to see the teacher, maybe after school, as a follow-up to this meeting and letting her know you felt like she seemed unwilling to help or make suggestions and you just were wondering what was up. If things aren't too much of a battle with her already, I think you could do this in a caring manner rather than a helicopter-I'm-upset-mom manner and it *might* lend some insight into the situation. This is a reach, but I have been in situations advocating for my 2e ds where his teacher was basically not allowed to say the things she would have liked to say at team meetings. There can be a full host of reasons why a teacher might not offer up suggestions at a meeting like this - everything from a teacher simply doesn't care, to the school staff having a policy of not offering anything that isn't first suggested by the parent to worries about what will happen if the parent at some point in time later sues the school (and all types of situations in between).

    Quote
    She mentioned DD is careless about her work, is clearly capable but sometimes chooses not to do it, has poor hand writing, etc.

    This sounds a lot like my two 2e children (both have different second "e"s).

    Quote
    Even with the evaluation unless she reaches the ceiling on the test there isn't much they will change as far as curriculum goes.

    They might not change anything once they have the results of the evaluation, but the evaluation will (hopefully) give you valuable insight into how your dd learns as well as clues if there are any potential LDs.

    Quote
    No brainstorming on why she is disruptive, not on task, doing poorly. We are not seeing these behaviors at home. I know home is different but if she had poor behavior then why only at school?

    Again, there could be a million different reasons why. Have you asked your dd what she feels is going on at school vs home? This is just one parent's experience with two children, but both of my 2e kids acts very differently at school than they do at home when faced with stress and anxiety at school.

    Quote
    This is my first time advocating with the school system. It feels tough and a little lonely. It doesn't help that I have nothing to back me up but my mom radar.

    It can be tough, and it can feel very lonely. Most school staff aren't going to go out of their way to make you (the parent) feel understood and cared for even if they are going out of their way to take care of your child's needs. Just try to remember why you are advocating, and come here for support. Remember that you also *do* have much more than your "mom radar". You have the tests your dd has already taken - if you don't have copies of them, request copies from the school. Soon you'll have a private evaluation. As you start pulling together an idea of what's up, collect examples of your dd's schoolwork that illustrate your concerns. You really most likely *do* have much more than you think you do in terms of concrete evidence. Also if your school tells you they "can't" do something - look up your school district's policy - don't take your school's word for it.

    Last thought - I hope I'm remembering correctly - but I think you posted wondering if your 3 year old who is in speech therapy might also be gifted? I'd throw the reverse question at you here - you have a 3 year old who seems to have some challenges, is it possible that your older dd has challenges (maybe related, maybe not) but she's flown under the radar because of her ability to compensate so far?

    Best wishes as you try to understand what's up - be sure to let us know how the eval goes.

    polarbear

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    Originally Posted by polarbear
    I also don't have much to add - you've received lots of good advice above. I suspect this teacher will always be an issue - hopefully she'll become more understanding and willing to work with you as the year goes by - but even if she doesn't, try to remember that this is one year out of your dd's education. The important thing to focus on is long-term - is there something here you need to learn and/or understand to help with what happens not only now but in the future, after this year with this difficult teacher is over. Pursuing a private eval will most likely help tremendously in that direction.

    Good question! In due time and in hindsight I am positive there will be lessons learned from all this.

    Originally Posted by jholland1203
    She said she was concerned with the level books DD chooses (K) vs. what they know she can read (2+).

    Originally Posted by polarbear
    This is just a question out of curiosity because I am not sure I'm familiar with the reading levels your school uses - what is a K relative to a 2+ - is that referring to grade level, meaning your dd is choosing simple books to read when the teacher knows she's capable of higher level books, or does it mean she's choosing higher level books when the teacher thinks she isn't capable of comprehending them? If she's purposely choosing books that are easy.... two thoughts. First thought - why is that an issue? Seriously? If it is an issue, then yes, the teacher should limit what books she can choose from. Second thought - have you asked your dd why she chooses the books she does? Does she like picture books better? Is the font too small in the higher level books? There could be 100+ reasons she's choosing the books she is, and asking your dd why she chooses what she does can be very useful information in understanding what's up.

    K meaning Kindergarten and 2+ meaning 2nd grade and above. I'm not sure why this is an issue. DD loves animals and particular subjects. But animals is her favorite. Wednesday she told us at library she wanted a non-fictional book on animals. When she came home she told me she got a fictional book because she didn't see any non-fiction on animals. So with that and the teachers issue about the lower leveled books, my guess is that DD is looking for something specific. When she doesn't find that on the classroom shelf for her level she goes to the closest thing like she did at library.

    Quote
    I'm not sure why this teacher appears to not want to help the situation and make suggestions as to what she feels is going.

    Originally Posted by polarbear
    This may not help, but have you thought about informally stopping in to see the teacher, maybe after school, as a follow-up to this meeting and letting her know you felt like she seemed unwilling to help or make suggestions and you just were wondering what was up. If things aren't too much of a battle with her already, I think you could do this in a caring manner rather than a helicopter-I'm-upset-mom manner and it *might* lend some insight into the situation. This is a reach, but I have been in situations advocating for my 2e ds where his teacher was basically not allowed to say the things she would have liked to say at team meetings. There can be a full host of reasons why a teacher might not offer up suggestions at a meeting like this - everything from a teacher simply doesn't care, to the school staff having a policy of not offering anything that isn't first suggested by the parent to worries about what will happen if the parent at some point in time later sues the school (and all types of situations in between).

    Good point! I do want to arrange a classroom observation. Should I talk with her informally then or do it separately?

    Originally Posted by polarbear
    This sounds a lot like my two 2e children (both have different second "e"s).

    Being that she has a lot of ear infections and a noise sensitivity some have mentioned APD. I have read a little about it and emailed DD3's ST to help with pointing me in the right direction. As well as whether this would have been ruled out during the auditory testing both girls have had and DD3's speech eval she had a few months ago. If not this is something I will get done and rule out.

    Originally Posted by polarbear
    Last thought - I hope I'm remembering correctly - but I think you posted wondering if your 3 year old who is in speech therapy might also be gifted? I'd throw the reverse question at you here - you have a 3 year old who seems to have some challenges, is it possible that your older dd has challenges (maybe related, maybe not) but she's flown under the radar because of her ability to compensate so far?

    Absolutely. It's definitely possible. I spoke with SLP today a little about DD3. She said DD3 is very intelligent and picking up on things fairly quickly. We talked about doing another eval in the next few months to see how far she has come since June. We did discuss both DD's and whether DD7 could possibly have some auditory issues going on but it is masked by intelligence. Luckily, SLP is awesome and so helpful with suggestions. Another person in my corner to help guide me.

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    Originally Posted by jholland1203
    I spoke with the principal about this. I got a one line email in return stating they do not grant these requests.

    This seems like what a principal would do if they just hope you'll drop the issue. There have to be mechanisms in place to accommodate problems. I would follow-up again with the principal, and if you still get an unsatisfactory response, then contact the district superintendent. Never be afraid to rock the boat.
    -S.F.


    For gifted children, doing nothing is the wrong choice.
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    You are on a good track. I saw in another thread that you had a private Neuro-psych appointment scheduled. It sounds like you are doing a terrific job chasing down your leads and using your resources to figure this out. And (to quote GI Joe) "knowing is half the battle". smile

    You've mentioned home school a bit here and there. For us the problems at school really got us to the testing phase and the results helped us weigh our choices better. We have spent some significant $$ tracking down the difficulties for our child, but even now with home schooling, it was absolutely worth it. What I know now helps me choose better learning options as his teacher as well as his parent. It's been a painful journey for us sometimes but it's brought the gift of a better life and a happier, better functioning child.

    Looking forward to hearing about your results as you begin to get them.

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    Originally Posted by ConnectingDots
    Originally Posted by KJP
    I agree. Until you are comfortable with the situation, I would avoid any sort of set up where she either gets a reward or punishment at home based on what happened at school.


    Yes, this. One of our biggest regrets is the number of times we punished DS last year for the bad reports we got on him from school. We would have taken a different tack if we had any idea what it was like for him to sit there day after day, trying to be still, trying to find some glimmer of true learning in that classroom, being labeled as a "difficult" child. He put it so well to me when I asked a few weeks ago if he was glad he was in a new school. "Yes, I wish I had been there last year. It would have saved me a year of lost privileges (at home)."

    I will second this! Nothing we tried with DS for the last two years, punishment or reward, helped his behavior for any length of time. I certainly regret being so blind to what would have helped.

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    A couple more random thoughts that came as I was reading through the many excellent posts.

    I ruptured my ear drum a few years ago. It took a couple months before my hearing returned and was an eye opening experience. About a week after it happened we went to a friend's place with about 20 people to hang out. It was unbearable. I was completely unable to focus enough on one conversation since there was so much background noise. We ended up leaving after about 30 min because I couldn't function. One on one wasn't a problem.

    You had a question about if you would also see inconsistencies at home and in my experience - not necessarily (or at least not unless you know exactly what you're looking for). My DS was fine at home. He is very inquisitive and we talk about a LOT of things but all of his learning at home was aural or visual (in his case his strong suits). He is also able to pursue things of his own interest and at his own pace and this works great for him. Sitting in a classroom learning to count money for the third week in a row did now work for him. Compound onto that that he had to actually write out things and then things got really ugly. His specific LD is low processing speed and low working memory which for now mostly shows itself in his writing output. He's able to compensate for a lot of things with his other strengths so it isn't always obvious. I also have a friend who's DD is 2e and has managed to fly under the radar until grade 4. She was able to memorize books and use the pictures to fool the teachers into thinking she could read when she couldn't.

    Anyway, there are a lot of reasons other than LD that might explain things (I'm just biased because of my experience). Hopefully you'll get some answers for her that will help you.

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    I wouldn't punish a kid at home for something that happened at school - it just makes a bad day worse. Reward a good day by all means but how would you feel if you had a hellish day at work and your partner made home horrible because of it rather than being supportive and helping you sort things out before the next day?

    Like someone said the one line email may be a screening device. Obviously they don't want kids changing classes willy-nilly but if you persist you may find it is not impossible.

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    Originally Posted by KnittingMama
    Originally Posted by ConnectingDots
    Originally Posted by KJP
    I agree. Until you are comfortable with the situation, I would avoid any sort of set up where she either gets a reward or punishment at home based on what happened at school.


    Yes, this. One of our biggest regrets is the number of times we punished DS last year for the bad reports we got on him from school. We would have taken a different tack if we had any idea what it was like for him to sit there day after day, trying to be still, trying to find some glimmer of true learning in that classroom, being labeled as a "difficult" child. He put it so well to me when I asked a few weeks ago if he was glad he was in a new school. "Yes, I wish I had been there last year. It would have saved me a year of lost privileges (at home)."

    I will second this! Nothing we tried with DS for the last two years, punishment or reward, helped his behavior for any length of time. I certainly regret being so blind to what would have helped.


    Punishment and reward have not worked for us either. For a few years I read gentle parenting books and the like. Nothing worked for any legnth of time either. Last year my mom told DD that if she had green (this is the color everyone starts on in the morning, they can go up or down from there) or above for at least 1 week of school she would get her a treat of her choice. We did this for a few weeks with no success. The behavior are things I would consider small. Definitely needs correcting but I would not classify it as major behavior issues as the teacher has. DD's biggest issues are talking and getting out of her seat. One reason that leads me to believe there may be a listening disorder is the teachers last email that discussed DD's behaviors. She said she was talking to DD about "roaming around the room" and before the sentence was off her lips DD walked away. DD will do this to us, primarily when we are lecturing and being repetitive. I do not condone DD's behavior but think that another approach should be tried.

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