Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Advice Wanted for Emotional Issues

This is the link ds came home with. I will verify it was viewed in class:

http://www.history.com/interactives/witness-to-911

In particular the video by the woman from the NYU dorm.

I think you have gotten some great advice. Honestly don't think that it is appropriate to show the jumpers. That was horrifying and disturbing to adults. I think it is appropriate to discuss the events of that day with 7th graders, but even my 12 yr. old 8th grader has not seen the video. I am certain that she is not yet ready. (As is she.) I would want the option for her to opt of seeing the images.

Deacongirl,

Yes, I wished I'd had a choice. This is the first male teacher ds has had and he loves the guy. I need to proceed thoughtfully here...

KADmom, I haven't opened the link because I, a very *old* person, do not want to take a chance seeing the jumpers - I saw it the day of 9/11 and that was enough of an image to haunt a person for a lifetime.

I do think the topic of 9/11 is absolutely age-appropriate for middle school children. We avoided watching the evening news with our children until they were around 11 years old, but at that age they became very interested in world events and their schools also started introducing the not-so-wonderful parts of history.


I wouldn't rock the boat - your ds loves the teacher and the class, the teacher is engaging - I would let things go for now and only rock the boat if another situation arises with another disturbing video. I'd handle the emotional fallout of this at home, but wouldn't make an issue of it at school.


It's probably simply going to take more life experiences for him to feel secure about the power of positive thinking. I'd try to allow him to watch the news and hear about current events, while at the same time look for positive and inspiring news either online or on the tv for him to watch. Get him out into the community volunteering or participate in church or whatever it is that is meaningful for your family - those types of positive-thinking experiences.

polarbear

Polarbear,

Beautiful advice. Thank you.

KADmom, I just two of the several videos on your link and they are chilling to the bone, even for an adult. I can understand why the experience of watching them traumatized your child so much. While some kids that age may not be able to fathom the gravity of the situation, a highly intelligent and emotional child like yours might not be able to shake it off. The image of people running outside with raw fear while the firemen walking into the burning building makes my heart stop. Maybe talk to your DS about the courage of those who rose to the challenge that day and became forever heroes.

I still can't think about the towers without seeing the jumpers in my head and the emotional torment of those awful, heart-rending images hasn't abated one iota for me (also a very old person). Last year DS7, then 6, was comparing images of the NYC skyline and asked me why the towers were in some pictures and not others. Even the abbreviated explanation I gave him caused great anxiety. He ultimately dealt with it by recreating events, complete with lego towers and planes, in a parallel world wherein only the terrorists died, but his initial response was absolute denial that anything bad had happened. And that was just a picture of absence, not of the act.

Your son's ability to discuss his feelings with you in such depth is wonderful and bodes well for you helping him through emotional issues, and I do think home is the place for addressing them. I would, though, mention to the teacher at the conference (assuming no further videos of this nature in the meantime) how distressing you, as an adult, found those particular images. It may be that they are such a part of his accumulated memories of 9/11 that he hasn't stepped back to consider their impact on new viewers. I'm actually quite torn between feeling that the jumpers are inappropriate viewing for that, or maybe any, age and worrying about watering down horror such that children are left with only a partial picture of events.

Thanks so much for your input, CoastalMom and Lovemydd. It's reassuring there are so many intelligent, caring parents/people here on this board.

Kadmom, I just watched the NYU Dorm video and it brought me to tears. I would definitely have a conversation with the teacher about that video and its emotional impact on middle school students-- regardless of whether they're skipped. I wouldn't wait for another poorly-chosen video to discuss the matter.

My son also loves SS this year. It's a wonderfully intellectually challenging class, so I understand why you don't want to rock the boat.

But think even if your child wasn't exceptionally sensitive, that video is too disturbing for middle school children-- especially when the girl starts shrieking about the second attack. I'm going to be thinking about it for the rest of the day.

I agree that particular video was especially horrifying... the understandable reaction of the girl to what she had witnessed was incredibly disturbing. I agree with what someone said above about sanitizing the horror...I think that most Americans *should* see those videos to try to understand just what it was like for those who lived through it and to try to understand all that came after. Not sure what the right age is. I think a good teacher could underestimate the impact of the image of the video on children.