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"I've never seen one, but they could exist. I can't prove it either way" seems pretty balanced to me. Siding against the kid who's crying seems a bit harsh.

I personally would not have taken sides and would have told all girls that while it is okay to have a disagreement, it was time move on to another subject but I agree that it's not always easy to handle every situation and conflict appropriately on the spot.

I know a little girl who was ostracized by her gifted K class for not believing in Santa and her parents weren't treated that much better by other parents during class Christmas party. It's a sticky issue.

ljoy, I agree that that seems fine.

When our eldest asked directly about santa we answered honestly and immediately launched into something like "Lots of children believe for longer than you have, you can't know who believes and who doesn't so don't talk about it. Adults like to make a big deal out of Santa to make Christmas more fun for children, adults fun comes from how magical kids find Christmas (and Santa), you have reached the point where your fun comes from helping making it magical for others." We probably told her she didn't have to lie to anyone that asked directly or who clearly didn't believe either, but absolutely not to raise it at school or to tell her sisters until they figured it out themselves.

I also think Ljoys response was correct. A neutral middle ground response is appropriate, along with "Lets move on from this NOW."

False dichotomy. Belief is belief. They're only different in that the adults who told them these things "know" they're different. From the perspective of the children, however, there is no difference between a belief in fairies and a belief in God. In both cases, they are defending perspectives they "know" to be true.

There are times to argue beliefs and times not to. A five year old can't be expected to differentiate though. Maybe just point out to her that most adults don't believe in fairies or Santa claus so she need not worry about explaining why they are wrong.

I will admit last year my ds4 (then 3) and I got a disapproving comment when he ran up shouting mummy mummy a man dressed up as Santa comed. It never occurred to me a belief in Santa extended to the santa's in shops and visiting kindy.

This is the approach we have taken with Santa and Tooth Fairy. We also use a similar theory when explaining various religious beliefs to my child - we say that there are various people with various religious beliefs and they all choose what the best fit for them is when it comes to religion and spirituality.
We had an awkward moment in Disneyland last Christmas when in the middle of the Christmas parade with throngs of people around, my 5 year old DS yelled to me excitedly: "Look the man in the Santa costume is here and the reindeer are all men in reindeer suits too because they are walking on 2 legs!". And we had a similar moment in the "Meet Mickey" event earlier in the day too. I quickly hushed my son on both occasions but I could see that many people were smiling at what my son said while there were many disapproving frowns too.

While some adults may choose to tell children things that aren't true, it is totally unfair to expect other children to play along with the pretense.

Regardless of the children's awareness of the underlying truth of the beliefs, the importance of the belief in question should, IMO, be factored into how the discussion is treated.

I would not want my child's teacher to treat belief in the divine as if it were on the same level as belief in fictional fairy stories. Even if the teacher believes that my religion is tantamount to fiction, the importance other religious belief/non-belief is assigned in the reasonable person's life should afford it greater respect than a difference of opinion on other matters, like the existence of fictional creatures.

I would have wanted the teacher to acknowledge that fairies are imaginary creatures, but that it is perfectly acceptable to engage in pretend play that they're real. For a difference in religious opinion in a multi-faith environment, I think along the lines of blackcat. In a single-faith school, I'd want a message consistent with the beliefs of the religion.

Agreed.

I'm surprised at the people who can't seem to understand the difference between an adult telling a child something the adult *actually believes* to be true vs. an adult telling a child something the adult KNOWS to be false. That there are some adults in this world who actually believe fairies exist is beside the point.